Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Winds of Change"A book of Poetry & Writing
251 total reviews
Comment from honeytree
Very telling art work, and very precious and yearning words of love, for this person.
When our heart yearns for someone, and that love can not be given, we should move on gently. Maybe their could be another person to love.
Wonderful art work and the words written so sincere, and yearning words for a lost love.
Honey tree
I really loved the art work here and the words written here are very precious ones about love and belonging.Life and love can change for the better or for the worse.
We have to feel comfortable with relationships we have.
I loved the very creative words written here.
Honey tree.
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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Very telling art work, and very precious and yearning words of love, for this person.
When our heart yearns for someone, and that love can not be given, we should move on gently. Maybe their could be another person to love.
Wonderful art work and the words written so sincere, and yearning words for a lost love.
Honey tree
I really loved the art work here and the words written here are very precious ones about love and belonging.Life and love can change for the better or for the worse.
We have to feel comfortable with relationships we have.
I loved the very creative words written here.
Honey tree.
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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thank you Honeytree for your review
Comment from joemass
G'day deepwater
A thoughtful and generally well-expressed poem, though it's a little difficult to follow in one or two places. For example, line 3 seems overlong and doesn't get round to saying anything very clearly. On the other hand i loved the understatement of line 5.
Cheers
Joemass
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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G'day deepwater
A thoughtful and generally well-expressed poem, though it's a little difficult to follow in one or two places. For example, line 3 seems overlong and doesn't get round to saying anything very clearly. On the other hand i loved the understatement of line 5.
Cheers
Joemass
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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thanks joemass
Comment from tati
Thank you for sharing this beautifully written with your heart poem, GW. To feel the musicality in its lines, I read it aloud and enjoyed very much its great rhythm. My favorite:
If I dare show you my heart, will you cherish the passion it would bring.
Or slowly destroy the life within with promises that will never be,
When I fall will you extend your inner spirit to catch my worthlessness,
Or cast me aside to be forgotten,
Great poem about a lost love. Warmest wishes, tati, May 05, 2010
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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Thank you for sharing this beautifully written with your heart poem, GW. To feel the musicality in its lines, I read it aloud and enjoyed very much its great rhythm. My favorite:
If I dare show you my heart, will you cherish the passion it would bring.
Or slowly destroy the life within with promises that will never be,
When I fall will you extend your inner spirit to catch my worthlessness,
Or cast me aside to be forgotten,
Great poem about a lost love. Warmest wishes, tati, May 05, 2010
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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thank you for your most welcome comments Tati
Gary
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Good morning, Gary (It's 07:35 AM over here in Jakarta). It's always a pleasure to read and review your fabulous poem. God bless you and yours.
tati
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thank you Tati have a great day my friend
Comment from fictionwriter
I really could relate to this poem. It's hard to put your heart on the line, not knowing if you'll be accepted or cast aside. Great job.
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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I really could relate to this poem. It's hard to put your heart on the line, not knowing if you'll be accepted or cast aside. Great job.
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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thanks for the comment and reading
Comment from Donovan
Nice sentiment and thought. I think you have captured your message well. My suggestion would be take some of the lines, and not use so many rhetorical questions. I think that gives more strength. Just rephrase them.
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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Nice sentiment and thought. I think you have captured your message well. My suggestion would be take some of the lines, and not use so many rhetorical questions. I think that gives more strength. Just rephrase them.
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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thank you
Comment from Soledadpaz
Wow! What a love poem. You catch what happens so well. Sometimes the love does not survive real life and it is easier to go on to someone else then try to mend things. Luckily for some of us we wake up in time and salvage what truly matters.
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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Wow! What a love poem. You catch what happens so well. Sometimes the love does not survive real life and it is easier to go on to someone else then try to mend things. Luckily for some of us we wake up in time and salvage what truly matters.
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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thank you
Comment from Oatmeal
deepwater,
The theme is very well chosen. Your thoughts are well described. The arrangement here is very creative. Your feelings are expressed well.
I only spotted two small errors, nothing to get too upset about-
this moonlight**.
**a question mark goes here
If I dare show you my heart, will you cherish the passion
**a question mark goes here
Everything else was clean. Comprehensible and very nicely written.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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deepwater,
The theme is very well chosen. Your thoughts are well described. The arrangement here is very creative. Your feelings are expressed well.
I only spotted two small errors, nothing to get too upset about-
this moonlight**.
**a question mark goes here
If I dare show you my heart, will you cherish the passion
**a question mark goes here
Everything else was clean. Comprehensible and very nicely written.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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thank you Oqtmeal i will make the change
Comment from rivki1111
Hello, lovely poem. It captures our journey and it's constant change, very well.
I sense a true romantic wrote this poem. Great verse with excellent imagery.
Thanks for sharing your writing, cheers, rivki
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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Hello, lovely poem. It captures our journey and it's constant change, very well.
I sense a true romantic wrote this poem. Great verse with excellent imagery.
Thanks for sharing your writing, cheers, rivki
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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Thank you for reading
Comment from bhogg
This is a lovely poem, but (that dreaded little word). Poetry is so personal, I hate to make suggestions, but I do have a couple and one question:
The two "so's" in the first line are kind of clunky, maybe,
I see your reflection on warm waters so still and tranquil
In the second line, I'm not sure that the colon works
I'm dense sometimes, but I don't get this line: Like ripples betraying still waters, will you stay with . I love the imagery of ripples betraying still waters, but I don't get the connect will you stay with me
Overall, I like this. It's structured a little awkward, but does have good imagery and flow.
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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This is a lovely poem, but (that dreaded little word). Poetry is so personal, I hate to make suggestions, but I do have a couple and one question:
The two "so's" in the first line are kind of clunky, maybe,
I see your reflection on warm waters so still and tranquil
In the second line, I'm not sure that the colon works
I'm dense sometimes, but I don't get this line: Like ripples betraying still waters, will you stay with . I love the imagery of ripples betraying still waters, but I don't get the connect will you stay with me
Overall, I like this. It's structured a little awkward, but does have good imagery and flow.
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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Thanks for the comments Bhogg its the question
Comment from Joan E.
Your poem is filled with the pathos of a lost love. I admired your questions, use of alliteration and "ripples" simile. I thought your picture choice was quite synergistic as well.
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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Your poem is filled with the pathos of a lost love. I admired your questions, use of alliteration and "ripples" simile. I thought your picture choice was quite synergistic as well.
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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thank you Joan
