Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "The soul of a soldier"A book of Poetry & Writing
271 total reviews
Comment from Kingsland
This piece of writing has a very good message in its voice. But that voice is set more for a prose piece than poetry. You need to find your way to short line stanzas. You also need to have a rhythm in its voice. Just writing a message does not in of itself make it poetry.Poetry has a certain form and format to its thoughts and messages. You need to experiment with different formats and line lengths to find the right fit for this piece. You have a good start to something that can be much better with a little more work... John
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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This piece of writing has a very good message in its voice. But that voice is set more for a prose piece than poetry. You need to find your way to short line stanzas. You also need to have a rhythm in its voice. Just writing a message does not in of itself make it poetry.Poetry has a certain form and format to its thoughts and messages. You need to experiment with different formats and line lengths to find the right fit for this piece. You have a good start to something that can be much better with a little more work... John
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thanks for the comments
Comment from RobertoK
Your poem is a stark reminder to all of us of just how much we owe all those brave soldiers who died to give us our liberty and rights. But alas we do not deserve their honour as we only fight now for greed and material things. We do their memories and deeds a great diservice. Best wishes, RobertoK.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Your poem is a stark reminder to all of us of just how much we owe all those brave soldiers who died to give us our liberty and rights. But alas we do not deserve their honour as we only fight now for greed and material things. We do their memories and deeds a great diservice. Best wishes, RobertoK.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your comments
Comment from Aletheia
Very powerful write. The only comment I'll make is that perhaps it could be in a different format, so that it reads better. Seems more like prose than a poem, but it's very effective nonetheless.
Good job!
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Very powerful write. The only comment I'll make is that perhaps it could be in a different format, so that it reads better. Seems more like prose than a poem, but it's very effective nonetheless.
Good job!
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thank you
Comment from Lou67
This is an interesting and very informative piece of work. I could find no obvious spelling or grammar mistakes. The flow is good and easy to follow, there are no adjustments needed.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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This is an interesting and very informative piece of work. I could find no obvious spelling or grammar mistakes. The flow is good and easy to follow, there are no adjustments needed.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your comments
Comment from Shirley McLain
Very good writing. It is easily understood and has so much meaning. I did not read any spag. The poem read well and did not seem forced. I could recommend this poem to anyone.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Very good writing. It is easily understood and has so much meaning. I did not read any spag. The poem read well and did not seem forced. I could recommend this poem to anyone.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thank you
Comment from mermaids
You describe well the point of history repeating itself. You caapture the spirit of soldiers who have been around for a long time.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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You describe well the point of history repeating itself. You caapture the spirit of soldiers who have been around for a long time.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thank you
Comment from dportwood
deepwater,
While this writing is categorized as poetry, I find nothing in it that suggests poetic format or structure. The punctuation makes this a one sentence work, thus making for less that easy reading. I give you five stars for the message we all should be told.
Duane
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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deepwater,
While this writing is categorized as poetry, I find nothing in it that suggests poetic format or structure. The punctuation makes this a one sentence work, thus making for less that easy reading. I give you five stars for the message we all should be told.
Duane
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your comments
Comment from Jersey Dreamer
Hi Deepwater
This is a great tribute you have to all the soldiers that have given their lives for the mistakes of incompetent governments , well done.
Best wishes
Jersey Dreamer
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Hi Deepwater
This is a great tribute you have to all the soldiers that have given their lives for the mistakes of incompetent governments , well done.
Best wishes
Jersey Dreamer
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thank you
Comment from jmyron
Well written, very true, and I wouldn't change a word. By way of critique though, I might suggest that you reformat it so that it reads more poetic. This could be done by using line breaks w/o changing a word.
You might try my book of poetry, "Patriotism."
John
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Well written, very true, and I wouldn't change a word. By way of critique though, I might suggest that you reformat it so that it reads more poetic. This could be done by using line breaks w/o changing a word.
You might try my book of poetry, "Patriotism."
John
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thanks John
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi deepwater,
You have an excellent theme that is presented as a poem but is prose instead. You have some good thoughts and phrases but the write would be better if you break it up into stanza's. In this form it is difficult to read and the punctuation needs to be re-worked. I hope you will consider changing the form and if you do let me know so I can raise my score......chey
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Hi deepwater,
You have an excellent theme that is presented as a poem but is prose instead. You have some good thoughts and phrases but the write would be better if you break it up into stanza's. In this form it is difficult to read and the punctuation needs to be re-worked. I hope you will consider changing the form and if you do let me know so I can raise my score......chey
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thank you