Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "The soul of a soldier"A book of Poetry & Writing
271 total reviews
Comment from wierdgrace
what a excellent poem, and story. It was well written and flowwed smoothly, I love poems and stories about soldiers and from the old wars as well. thank you so much for sharing, no errors I could see.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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what a excellent poem, and story. It was well written and flowwed smoothly, I love poems and stories about soldiers and from the old wars as well. thank you so much for sharing, no errors I could see.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thank you
Comment from rama devi
Oh, this is inspiring and I so wish you posted it under prose, as it reads like a prose monologue and not at all like poetry. even then, it has some spag and formatting issues that need attending to.
I was about to give an in depth critique citing spag issues and offering suggestions, but noticed you;d already had many reviews and had not yet made changes. so i decided not to take time for the in depth, specific comments unless you let me know you are receptive to them. I always try to review with honesty and integrity, so must give a three star rating. please know that i am happy to upgrade if revisions are made. and also feel free to contact me if you wish further, more specific feedback. I am very happy to help.
The content adn theme are powerful and what you voice here deserves to be polished and fine tuned.
Best wishes,
rd
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Oh, this is inspiring and I so wish you posted it under prose, as it reads like a prose monologue and not at all like poetry. even then, it has some spag and formatting issues that need attending to.
I was about to give an in depth critique citing spag issues and offering suggestions, but noticed you;d already had many reviews and had not yet made changes. so i decided not to take time for the in depth, specific comments unless you let me know you are receptive to them. I always try to review with honesty and integrity, so must give a three star rating. please know that i am happy to upgrade if revisions are made. and also feel free to contact me if you wish further, more specific feedback. I am very happy to help.
The content adn theme are powerful and what you voice here deserves to be polished and fine tuned.
Best wishes,
rd
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thanks Rama this was one of my first and the first on here
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You have much potential and posting here will help you hone your craft---please do not be discouraged! ;) !! WARM WELCOME> SINCERELY, rd
Comment from Ronni
Truly profound and deeply introspective and soul-searhing
poem indeed. Having lost 2 son's in Iraq, I can relate
to your message here completely. You have conveyed a
brilliant reminder and remembrance of our fallen soldiers,
in a very compelling and heartstirring presentation.
Thank you for sharing this needed reminder and
reflection, and it truy bears heeding and keeping.
God Bless You.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Truly profound and deeply introspective and soul-searhing
poem indeed. Having lost 2 son's in Iraq, I can relate
to your message here completely. You have conveyed a
brilliant reminder and remembrance of our fallen soldiers,
in a very compelling and heartstirring presentation.
Thank you for sharing this needed reminder and
reflection, and it truy bears heeding and keeping.
God Bless You.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thank you
Comment from Janine Ellis-Fynn
This is a beautiful, heartfelt and emotive tribute to all the men who died in battle. 'Here we sleep in death, unbetrayed but honoured in name.' So true and so sad. Well done and thanks for posting.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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This is a beautiful, heartfelt and emotive tribute to all the men who died in battle. 'Here we sleep in death, unbetrayed but honoured in name.' So true and so sad. Well done and thanks for posting.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thank you
Comment from Pili Pubul
Very deep and heart breaking writing about the reality of war and those who pay the ultimate price. As an orphan of war , I believe that it changes the future and life of those he leaves behind forever, but the world forgets and goes on since the beginning of humanity. Excellent work.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Very deep and heart breaking writing about the reality of war and those who pay the ultimate price. As an orphan of war , I believe that it changes the future and life of those he leaves behind forever, but the world forgets and goes on since the beginning of humanity. Excellent work.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thank you
Comment from Isaiah Ramesses
Well done. The structure and style was very different from most poetry that I've read on the site--which is fine.
Therefore some lines read weird for me; but it's still good poetry.
Isaiah Ramesses
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Well done. The structure and style was very different from most poetry that I've read on the site--which is fine.
Therefore some lines read weird for me; but it's still good poetry.
Isaiah Ramesses
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thank you
Comment from Thilophian
It is a good piece of writing. History repeats. Man commits the same mistakes again and again. Nobody learns anything from history or the past experience.
It is an excellent work. Congratulations!!
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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It is a good piece of writing. History repeats. Man commits the same mistakes again and again. Nobody learns anything from history or the past experience.
It is an excellent work. Congratulations!!
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thank you
Comment from laren
Wow! This is a great poem which inquires the sense of wars. It's touching and moves to reflection. I think that we don't learn about history. Men against men. That statement is against mother nature.
Congratulations! It's very well written too!
Laren
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Wow! This is a great poem which inquires the sense of wars. It's touching and moves to reflection. I think that we don't learn about history. Men against men. That statement is against mother nature.
Congratulations! It's very well written too!
Laren
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thank you
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You are welcome,
Laren
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You are welcome,
Laren
Comment from Begin Again
deepwater,
Your message is excellent put your presentation detracts from the reader's enjoyment. Add some whitespace, and a few commas and it would be far easier to read and enjoy.
Carol
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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deepwater,
Your message is excellent put your presentation detracts from the reader's enjoyment. Add some whitespace, and a few commas and it would be far easier to read and enjoy.
Carol
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thank you
Comment from hotstuff
Your poem makes a brave statement. I read it, and it made me think of the futility of war; no one wins. The losses are immense and still the battles continue. As one ends another starts.
And the soldiers are mere boys, far too young to have to risk their lives. They should be out with their mates having fun.
It is all such a waste of our beautiful youth.
Unless we start to love one another unconditionally wars will never end and families will continue to grieve.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Your poem makes a brave statement. I read it, and it made me think of the futility of war; no one wins. The losses are immense and still the battles continue. As one ends another starts.
And the soldiers are mere boys, far too young to have to risk their lives. They should be out with their mates having fun.
It is all such a waste of our beautiful youth.
Unless we start to love one another unconditionally wars will never end and families will continue to grieve.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thank you
