Little ones
Viewing comments for Prologue "cocoon-life"5/7/5 poems
265 total reviews
Comment from david bell
When I was young I tried to live in a cocoon. It worked but I always wondered what I was missing. I wonder if I missed the sweet life of reality. Cocoons can't shelter us from reality. Great job.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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When I was young I tried to live in a cocoon. It worked but I always wondered what I was missing. I wonder if I missed the sweet life of reality. Cocoons can't shelter us from reality. Great job.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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Thanks for your kind words sir:-)
Comment from Cry the Vile Rebel
Your author notes go along way in assisting the interpretation of your meaning in this. As children, we do see the world as full of infinite possibilities, protected and secure. It's natural to long for that sense of safety and sure knowledge of ourselves once we are grown and out in the world. thank you for sharing this.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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Your author notes go along way in assisting the interpretation of your meaning in this. As children, we do see the world as full of infinite possibilities, protected and secure. It's natural to long for that sense of safety and sure knowledge of ourselves once we are grown and out in the world. thank you for sharing this.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts:-)
Comment from Gypsy Starchild
Since I have joined Fanstory, I have become a great fan of short poetry forms... this is a beautiful 5-7-5. :) It reads beautifully and your syllable count is right on. Good luck in the contest! :)
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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Since I have joined Fanstory, I have become a great fan of short poetry forms... this is a beautiful 5-7-5. :) It reads beautifully and your syllable count is right on. Good luck in the contest! :)
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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Yes.short poems are really influnential.
Thank you for sharing your opinion:-)
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Yes.short poems are really influnential.
Thank you for sharing your opinion:-)
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Yes.short poems are really influnential.
Thank you for sharing your opinion:-)
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Yes.short poems are really influnential.
Thank you for sharing your opinion:-)
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Yes.short poems are really influnential.
Thank you for sharing your opinion:-)
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Yes.short poems are really influnential.
Thank you for sharing your opinion:-)
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Yes.short poems are really influnential.
Thank you for sharing your opinion:-)
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Yes.short poems are really influnential.
Thank you for sharing your opinion:-)
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Yes.short poems are really influnential.
Thank you for sharing your opinion:-)
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Yes.short poems are really influnential.
Thank you for sharing your opinion:-)
Comment from Malachai
Imagining life might be changed to... life imagined, maybe as instead of like and, yet should somehow start the next line. I love the ideas within the poem. I once had a creative writing teacher that taught me something very powerful! At the time,. I was young in college and I resented it. It turned out to be the best advice any teacher ever gave me. She said Rebecca write,re-write and write it again. So I share this with you as the whole idea for the 5-7-5 poem is excellent but I feel you can make it a much stronger poem. Blessings Rebecca
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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Imagining life might be changed to... life imagined, maybe as instead of like and, yet should somehow start the next line. I love the ideas within the poem. I once had a creative writing teacher that taught me something very powerful! At the time,. I was young in college and I resented it. It turned out to be the best advice any teacher ever gave me. She said Rebecca write,re-write and write it again. So I share this with you as the whole idea for the 5-7-5 poem is excellent but I feel you can make it a much stronger poem. Blessings Rebecca
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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Thanks for your analysis.i will surely go through it:-)
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Thanks for your analysis.i will surely go through it:-)
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Thanks for your analysis.i will surely go through it:-)
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Thanks for your analysis.i will surely go through it:-)
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Thanks for your analysis.i will surely go through it:-)
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Thanks for your analysis.i will surely go through it:-)
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Thanks for your analysis.i will surely go through it:-)
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Thanks for your analysis.i will surely go through it:-)
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Thanks for your analysis.i will surely go through it:-)
Comment from Zue65
You deserved a five stars, excellent execution and yes, we do indulged in wishful thinking, wishing we could turn back the hands of time. You were able to say a lot with a few words. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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You deserved a five stars, excellent execution and yes, we do indulged in wishful thinking, wishing we could turn back the hands of time. You were able to say a lot with a few words. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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I thank you for your appreciation and time:-)
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I thank you for your appreciation and time:-)
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I thank you for your appreciation and time:-)
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I thank you for your appreciation and time:-)
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I thank you for your appreciation and time:-)
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I thank you for your appreciation and time:-)
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I thank you for your appreciation and time:-)
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I thank you for your appreciation and time:-)
Comment from 9999pool
The description together with this story in the poem made this a very great write and full of happiness of our childhood days.
Those who have found true happiness never did let the child inside us died. They thrived and made our lives bearable, forgetting the troubles and just hopping along even when all is not well.
That carefree child must live to ensure we have a buffer in life - another door of hope and miracle to compensate the losing ends facing us. Smiling at adversities - only a child can do that!
Excellent write and well penned an idea. This poem could win. Usually my prediction comes true. Fingers crossed and this is a six star write but at this time of week, the stars are all given out so a Virtual ******.
Cheerio, Ritchie.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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The description together with this story in the poem made this a very great write and full of happiness of our childhood days.
Those who have found true happiness never did let the child inside us died. They thrived and made our lives bearable, forgetting the troubles and just hopping along even when all is not well.
That carefree child must live to ensure we have a buffer in life - another door of hope and miracle to compensate the losing ends facing us. Smiling at adversities - only a child can do that!
Excellent write and well penned an idea. This poem could win. Usually my prediction comes true. Fingers crossed and this is a six star write but at this time of week, the stars are all given out so a Virtual ******.
Cheerio, Ritchie.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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I wish your words come true,hehe.glad you made such deep interpretations.i liked it.thanks for your generous review:-)
with affection
as
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I wish your words come true,hehe.glad you made such deep interpretations.i liked it.thanks for your generous review:-)
with affection
as
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I wish your words come true,hehe.glad you made such deep interpretations.i liked it.thanks for your generous review:-)
with affection
as
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I wish your words come true,hehe.glad you made such deep interpretations.i liked it.thanks for your generous review:-)
with affection
as
-
I wish your words come true,hehe.glad you made such deep interpretations.i liked it.thanks for your generous review:-)
with affection
as
-
I wish your words come true,hehe.glad you made such deep interpretations.i liked it.thanks for your generous review:-)
with affection
as
-
I wish your words come true,hehe.glad you made such deep interpretations.i liked it.thanks for your generous review:-)
with affection
as
Comment from GregoryCody
This is powerful. You have great flow and a great message which is hard to do in three lines! You pulled it off masterfully in this. A very good piece indeed.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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This is powerful. You have great flow and a great message which is hard to do in three lines! You pulled it off masterfully in this. A very good piece indeed.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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A very humble thanks and lot of respect for all the praise:-)
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A very humble thanks and lot of respect for all the praise:-)
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A very humble thanks and lot of respect for all the praise:-)
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A very humble thanks and lot of respect for all the praise:-)
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A very humble thanks and lot of respect for all the praise:-)
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A very humble thanks and lot of respect for all the praise:-)
Comment from Darkhorse555
wrapped up in cotton a princess of the flies emerging a bouquet of wings in a colourful note I enjoyed following this piece
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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wrapped up in cotton a princess of the flies emerging a bouquet of wings in a colourful note I enjoyed following this piece
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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I am happy that you enjoyed it.i appreciate your words:-)
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I am happy that you enjoyed it.i appreciate your words:-)
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I am happy that you enjoyed it.i appreciate your words:-)
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I am happy that you enjoyed it.i appreciate your words:-)
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I am happy that you enjoyed it.i appreciate your words:-)
Comment from Gianinas
I like the 5-7-5 poem. The alliteration of moon and cocoon works out beautifully for me.
I also like the picture you have chosen.
Good Luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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I like the 5-7-5 poem. The alliteration of moon and cocoon works out beautifully for me.
I also like the picture you have chosen.
Good Luck in the contest!
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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A very hearty thanks for finding time to read it and liking it:-)
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A very hearty thanks for finding time to read it and liking it:-)
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A very hearty thanks for finding time to read it and liking it:-)
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A very hearty thanks for finding time to read it and liking it:-)
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
A growing up young with the passage of living discovers the harsh reality of living unlike a beautiful fantasy filled living that he came to know by books in his little world, so he wishes to live a child life, our life is beyond cocoon, nice , I liked. 12/620
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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A growing up young with the passage of living discovers the harsh reality of living unlike a beautiful fantasy filled living that he came to know by books in his little world, so he wishes to live a child life, our life is beyond cocoon, nice , I liked. 12/620
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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So good to have your share of words.thanks for your kind review:-)
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So good to have your share of words.thanks for your kind review:-)
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So good to have your share of words.thanks for your kind review:-)