Comment from Tina McKala

Excellent

Original topic for 5-7-5 contest. I liked your POV here. Nothing is only bad or only good. There are plus and cons to everything. Well structured and written piece. I liked the connection between the first two lines both in motif and in "L" beginnings and the sum up in the third line which was a little separated from the previous two, to make a perfect ending. Good luck!!

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013

That's a wonderful review.Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)

Comment from ravenblack

Good

I know hefty alliteration in short forms is a 'new' form and I applaud the experimentation, but in this case as in most of the alliterative 5-7-5 ( loosely based on haiku ), alliteration overwhelms the piece calling too much attention to the poem itself. I do like the word combinations, the cleverness but on every read, all I come away with is the alliteration.

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013

Sadly,that makes no sense.pointless.thanks

Comment from headingley

Excellent

Very nice. Powerful image and love the illiteration used for this one. Could see this as an intro to a theatrical piece on a billboard outside a theatre for an upcoming show.

Enjoyed it and well done

Regards and good luck

Headingley

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013

Oh..thanks for that 'billboard' comment.i appreciate it.Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)

Comment from DRG24

Excellent

I like the exquisite word choice and I believe that you excelled with this awesome poem about the dark side. Cool alliteration and an overall good job. Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013

Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)

Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

I like the complete alliteration that well describes vampire. I like the metaphor of blood being the vampires liquor and the taking of their victims as a party to make more of the undead.

Keep writing

dragonpoet

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013

Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)

reply by dragonpoet on 08-Jul-2013

You're very welcome.

dragonpoet

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

I love the alliteration..well done
Lurk lusty leeches....describes vampires perfectly
A and I like that blood is...life-liquor
Well done
God bless

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013

Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

Your well-displayed f-7-5 uses some clever alliteration and unusual word choices to make its topic stand out and be noticed. The term, 'luminal life-liquor' is one worth holding on to.

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013

Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)

Comment from Mrs Jones

Excellent

I like the life-liquor line. Excellent choice of words in this short work. I don't believe there are such creatures, but the fantasy has provided much entertainment to now.
Well done
Cheers
Rose

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013

Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

dramatic physical presentation of your poem, which is in good 5/7/5 syllable count
good use of abundant alliteration in all three lines
I like your choice of strong action verbs with lurk/love/rave
I like the characterization of blood as life-liquor for the vampires and the equation of vampires with leeches :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013

Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)

Comment from Janet Foor

Excellent

Your 5/7/5 Revival of the Red is in excellent haiku form. Great presentation and amazing alliteration with Lurk lusty leeches love luminal life-liquor and rave resurrection. Vivid imagery.

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013

Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)