Comment from MoonMuse

Excellent

I like this darker 5-7-5. Nice job on the syllable count. The alliteration is fantastic. I can't help but think that first line might work a little better if you placed 'lurk' at the end of the line instead: "lusty leeches lurk". Very minor suggestion. Lots of luck with the contest!

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013

thanks for your thoughts and excellent review:)

Comment from Preston McWhorter

Excellent

Hi,
This is excellent 5-7-5 verse meeting the line/syllabication requirements of that genre. It has an excellent relationship among lines and excellent figurative language. The alliteration is good. The illustration is apt. I enjoyed reading this poem.

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013

thank you:)

Comment from Righteous Riter

Excellent

This piece meets the criteria of the 5-7-5. The syllable count is correct as the photo compliments the piece well as the words bring the photo to life. This piece is short, sweet and to the point. Thank you for sharing.

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 Comment Written 08-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013

thank you:)