Comment from Val Crisson

Good

Are you after a "real" haiku, or a five seven five poem? First of all, traditional haiku does not have any capitalization nor does a five seven five poem. Secondly, if you are after seven syllables in the second line, you may have one too many. You will have to check. The word yet and the punctuation do little for the flow of the poem, though the last line (satori) is very good. Hope this helps you out a little. I write a lot of haiku, and several All Time Best, you might look at a couple.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2013

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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013

Thanks for your view.here,i just wanted to write a 5-7-5 haiku.and its my first one.my writings have never been revieved so i just wanted to have a review.i have never written any haiku before.i prefer the four-liners.

reply by Val Crisson on 19-Jun-2013

Your writing must have been reviewed, as you should receive at least two from the site. It was a very decent attempt at a five/seven/five, they are not as easy as some like to think. Good luck with you writing, and if you need help let me know.

Comment from danddanthnyt

Excellent

I enjoyed reading the excellent images conveyed in haiku poem; "in sweet full moon, yet not out of cocoon." The poem has a great image in "Imagining life," I like this description the most because it describes the stage of the butterfly in 'metamorphosis' that awaits to experience the next stage of life as a full-grown "butterfly." I wish to say that this poem is in the five-five-five format; if you want to have the 5-7-5 format haiku, than you'll have to revise composition to change formatting. A very goodd write about the 'transformation' of a butterfly.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2013

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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013

thanks for your appreciation.this is my first attemptcould you please hint on how it is
5 5 5 poem.the second line has 7 syllables?

Comment from zanya

Good

And this 'imagining' is the spur that leads us to take the mext step into our adult world- - the bigger we dream before we leave our'cocoon' the more interesting and exciting life will be.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2013

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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013

Thanks zanya.yes,the life outside is adventurous,but when we suddenly step into the real world,we may tend to escape back to cocoon.:-)

Comment from janxavier

Excellent

Life jus out if d cocoon is so eager fr adventures. Most delightfl stGe in metamorphosis . Such short n meaningful poem . Thank u . Kudos to u :):)

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2013

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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013

Thanks xavier for such inspiring words:-)

reply by janxavier on 18-Jun-2013

If possible plZ review my poem "touch of love". thanks

Comment from lorijean

Excellent

A stunning event to see, just love butterflies so beautiful and delicate, Nature gives us so much to write about, thank you for sharing....

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 Comment Written 18-Jun-2013

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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013

Thanks for your view.indeed we owe everything to nature-the beautiful cause of existence!