Can't Unsee It
Memorable for all the wrong reasons30 total reviews
Comment from Gunner Lil
This is cute and very true to life. Mommy what is Daddy doing?
Oh, my goodness. Blackmail coming from little Mary.
Can I get that new Barbie?
Thanks for putting a smile on my face.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
This is cute and very true to life. Mommy what is Daddy doing?
Oh, my goodness. Blackmail coming from little Mary.
Can I get that new Barbie?
Thanks for putting a smile on my face.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Ohhhhh yeah! Definitely been there/done that! In fact, I don't have even one friend who hasn't had some theme-and-variation of this!!
Thanks for the adorable review; I absolutely loved it.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Yes, I believe that has happened to all parents at least once, lol! Nice summation of a shared experience in a few words. Picture is a good choice:-)
Good luck!
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
Yes, I believe that has happened to all parents at least once, lol! Nice summation of a shared experience in a few words. Picture is a good choice:-)
Good luck!
Comment Written 14-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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I'm almost thinking, Pam, that if it happens MORE than once, there's something amiss with the parents!! I know, for myself, once cured me for life. (My daughter's forty and still comments about it occasionally!!)
Thanks for the fun review; very much appreciated.
Comment from Frank Malley
"Can't Unsee It" is a funny brief poem abetted by a funny picture of a shocked boy, wide-eyed and open-mouthed; I inferred that this kid is seeing sex happen for his first time, but it could be something else. This little poem is a caveat joke about the need for privacy. I don't like the popular word 'rocked' to communicate powerful emotion; I don't think 'rocked' communicates the part of the kid's reaction that is a big ball of questions. The one remaining word for line 3 is very restrictive (why I dislike these really short poems),but I think 'What?; How?; or Why? would be funnier and more true to the kid's experience.
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reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
"Can't Unsee It" is a funny brief poem abetted by a funny picture of a shocked boy, wide-eyed and open-mouthed; I inferred that this kid is seeing sex happen for his first time, but it could be something else. This little poem is a caveat joke about the need for privacy. I don't like the popular word 'rocked' to communicate powerful emotion; I don't think 'rocked' communicates the part of the kid's reaction that is a big ball of questions. The one remaining word for line 3 is very restrictive (why I dislike these really short poems),but I think 'What?; How?; or Why? would be funnier and more true to the kid's experience.
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Comment Written 14-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Thanks, Frank. The three lines had to rhyme. That was my conundrum. I appreciate the thorough review.
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I shoulda known better. Yeah, well we should leave forms to IRS and the lawyers. Be well!
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ha ha ha
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Good luck in the contest. Frank
Comment from Wendy G
Yes, I can imagine a young child's shock - and confusion. You have chosen a very appropriate image to support your 1-6-1 poem. Sending best wishes.
Wendy
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
Yes, I can imagine a young child's shock - and confusion. You have chosen a very appropriate image to support your 1-6-1 poem. Sending best wishes.
Wendy
Comment Written 14-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Thanks! I cannot tell you how many "surprised" faces I looked through before I found this perfect one! I appreciate your encouragement with this piece.
Comment from Goodadvicechan
Your poem meets the requirements of 1-6-1 and the three lines rhyme.
It tells a nice story. It is a clever way to start the poem with the word "shocked." Shocked for what ? This will attract readers to continued.
Thanks for sharing this one with us.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
Your poem meets the requirements of 1-6-1 and the three lines rhyme.
It tells a nice story. It is a clever way to start the poem with the word "shocked." Shocked for what ? This will attract readers to continued.
Thanks for sharing this one with us.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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It's always so helpful when a reviewer gives specifics like you did with this. Thank you for that! And thanks, too, for the well-wishes for the contest! Very much appreciated.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Very good poem. I've heard this story from real parents, and it was a very bad idea to skip the lock. The picture looks like exactly what you have written about. Very good work.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
Very good poem. I've heard this story from real parents, and it was a very bad idea to skip the lock. The picture looks like exactly what you have written about. Very good work.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Thanks for the review, Carol. As a "real parent" myself, I know for a fact that it is a bad idea. (Our daughter is now 40, and we still shudder at the memory!!!)
Comment from rspoet
This is an excellent 1-6-1 poem with three excellent rhymes.
Kids (and others) can easily stumble into something
that matches your poem and picture. LOL
Nicely done.
Good luck in the contest.
Robert
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
This is an excellent 1-6-1 poem with three excellent rhymes.
Kids (and others) can easily stumble into something
that matches your poem and picture. LOL
Nicely done.
Good luck in the contest.
Robert
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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Thanks very much! I appreciate that you understand [though hopefully not first-hand...] and, of course, the well-wishes for the contest.
Comment from pome lover
yep, some things just can't be forgotten no matter how much time passes.
Lesson learned a bit late.
the perfect picture for this post. Poor little fella. Mom and Dad will never be thought of the same way again.
Great entry - most original.
Katharine
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
yep, some things just can't be forgotten no matter how much time passes.
Lesson learned a bit late.
the perfect picture for this post. Poor little fella. Mom and Dad will never be thought of the same way again.
Great entry - most original.
Katharine
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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Thank you! I appreciate your feedback, oh fellow sufferer! (Everyone I know has a version of this situation!)
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:)
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
I like this 1-6-1 poem. The syllable count is accurate. The font size could be a tad larger. The message makes sense until the last word. The visual fits perfectly. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
I like this 1-6-1 poem. The syllable count is accurate. The font size could be a tad larger. The message makes sense until the last word. The visual fits perfectly. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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Thanks very much for your review. "Rocked" as in it ROCKED my world--like an earthquake does--changes it forever.
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Okay! You are welcome.
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I enjoyed this 1-6-1 poem.
You have done a great job with the prompt, very clever and creative. The photo adds another layer of texture to your succinct writing.
I would consider the background color as it is quite neon, I would tone it down a little. If intentional, disregard suggestion, if not just one poets opinion:)
Thanks for sharing.
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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
I enjoyed this 1-6-1 poem.
You have done a great job with the prompt, very clever and creative. The photo adds another layer of texture to your succinct writing.
I would consider the background color as it is quite neon, I would tone it down a little. If intentional, disregard suggestion, if not just one poets opinion:)
Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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I love this review!! Thank you for your encouragement and suggestions. Very much appreciated.