Sally's Accident
Playing football in the house ~ JK32 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I'm sorry to hear about Sally's accident. She remains on my permeant prayer list, as you do. I will surely add this special prayer. Oh my, as we age things happens and she's at a disadvantage having a sight problem. Thank you again, our special angel.
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I'm sorry to hear about Sally's accident. She remains on my permeant prayer list, as you do. I will surely add this special prayer. Oh my, as we age things happens and she's at a disadvantage having a sight problem. Thank you again, our special angel.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2024
Comment from nomi338
One of the worst things about accidents is that they never take place on purpose and are almost always embarrassing. It is virtually impossible to look god during an accident, and many times there is some sort of injury to accompany it. So, there is also the element of pain. I do hope that Sally will recover fully from her unfortunate encounter.
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One of the worst things about accidents is that they never take place on purpose and are almost always embarrassing. It is virtually impossible to look god during an accident, and many times there is some sort of injury to accompany it. So, there is also the element of pain. I do hope that Sally will recover fully from her unfortunate encounter.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2024
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Well, I just loved your last stanza, Debi - made me smile:-)
Sal, no football in the house! Didn't you tell your kids that?
Seriously, get well soon - having a boot is damn inconvenient and really cramps one's style. No cha-cha-cha for you, girl!
Thanks for letting us know, Deb.
xo
Pam
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Well, I just loved your last stanza, Debi - made me smile:-)
Sal, no football in the house! Didn't you tell your kids that?
Seriously, get well soon - having a boot is damn inconvenient and really cramps one's style. No cha-cha-cha for you, girl!
Thanks for letting us know, Deb.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 23-Sep-2024
Comment from Teri7
Thank you for writing and letting us know about Sal's accident. You used great descriptive words and very nice pic of Sal and Jack. Thank you for sharing my friend. I pray her body mends and heals soon. love and blessings, Teri
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Thank you for writing and letting us know about Sal's accident. You used great descriptive words and very nice pic of Sal and Jack. Thank you for sharing my friend. I pray her body mends and heals soon. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 23-Sep-2024
Comment from Cindy Decker 3
Debi,
Nice poem about Sally.Im glad she's alright, and back to writing again.
Nice rhyme and sentiment. Great photo of a happy couple.
I love the ending.
Best wishes,
Cindy
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Debi,
Nice poem about Sally.Im glad she's alright, and back to writing again.
Nice rhyme and sentiment. Great photo of a happy couple.
I love the ending.
Best wishes,
Cindy
Comment Written 23-Sep-2024
Comment from Begin Again
Absolutely adorable healing sauve for Sally.... Thank you for sharing this story about Sally and I hope she recovers fast...but I know her humor will help her get through this. the best to both of you....
Smiles, Carol
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Absolutely adorable healing sauve for Sally.... Thank you for sharing this story about Sally and I hope she recovers fast...but I know her humor will help her get through this. the best to both of you....
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 23-Sep-2024
Comment from SimianSavant
Hey this is a good one. Well paced and metered -- you only had trouble with your meter in one stanza. Here are some notes on that.
To help swelling she used some ice <= this puts the accent on the second syllable of "swelling". You don't want that. Suggested: to slow the swelling, she found ice / or, stemming swelling with some ice
Jack rushed home, got her in the car <= this puts the accents on JACK, HOME, HER and THE. You don't want accents to land on a weak word like THE. They should always fall on the same words you would emphasize when speaking. Try: JACK rushed HOME and BROUGHT the CAR
So he could take her to ER <= you need a "the" for this to not sound weird. In this case, putting the accent on the article is less weird than leaving it off, so I would try: "in TIME to GET to THE eR"
That's it. The rest is all good. I would add hyphens in cha-cha-cha.
Thanks for the read,
🦍
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2024
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Hey this is a good one. Well paced and metered -- you only had trouble with your meter in one stanza. Here are some notes on that.
To help swelling she used some ice <= this puts the accent on the second syllable of "swelling". You don't want that. Suggested: to slow the swelling, she found ice / or, stemming swelling with some ice
Jack rushed home, got her in the car <= this puts the accents on JACK, HOME, HER and THE. You don't want accents to land on a weak word like THE. They should always fall on the same words you would emphasize when speaking. Try: JACK rushed HOME and BROUGHT the CAR
So he could take her to ER <= you need a "the" for this to not sound weird. In this case, putting the accent on the article is less weird than leaving it off, so I would try: "in TIME to GET to THE eR"
That's it. The rest is all good. I would add hyphens in cha-cha-cha.
Thanks for the read,
🦍
Comment Written 23-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2024
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Hi Simian, yes, you are right. I hate starting the lines with a stressed word but was afraid if I didn't then someone would end up complaining about the bad grammar. So I will not only take your suggestion but I will find a word to put in front of Jack so I don't start my line with a stressed word. Thanks so very much my friend.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Those dang chairs are like rabbits! They multiply over night and hop all over the house when we're not looking. It can be so dangerous! Keep your sense of humor Sally and praying you are good as new very soon. Thanks to Debi for this cute poem as always.
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Those dang chairs are like rabbits! They multiply over night and hop all over the house when we're not looking. It can be so dangerous! Keep your sense of humor Sally and praying you are good as new very soon. Thanks to Debi for this cute poem as always.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2024
Comment from Sally Law
Debi dear,
YOU are just the sweetest thing!!! I love this poem about my foot debaucle. It really was like kicking a block of wood for a field goal, and boy, does my foot look like it. (And it feels like it!) Ouch!
You ease my pain, darling friend, and mend my soul. I feel better already. Yup. I'm ready for some football ... as a spectator! Thanks for this wonderful poem and the thought and love put into it. You are such a sweetheart!
I love you!
Sal XOs!
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Debi dear,
YOU are just the sweetest thing!!! I love this poem about my foot debaucle. It really was like kicking a block of wood for a field goal, and boy, does my foot look like it. (And it feels like it!) Ouch!
You ease my pain, darling friend, and mend my soul. I feel better already. Yup. I'm ready for some football ... as a spectator! Thanks for this wonderful poem and the thought and love put into it. You are such a sweetheart!
I love you!
Sal XOs!
Comment Written 23-Sep-2024
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Oh my gosh, Debi,
This is a cute poem. Understandably, it's dedicated to a very sore broken foot. I'm sure it's hard for Sally since she's so energetic, but it has given her time to write some good posts.
I love your rhyming, it just fits in so well with the entire poem, and helps build the flow.
Great picture of Sally and Jack. I'm sure she's going to love this. BTW, I was waiting all day yesterday for this, lol.
Hugs,
Rhonda
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Oh my gosh, Debi,
This is a cute poem. Understandably, it's dedicated to a very sore broken foot. I'm sure it's hard for Sally since she's so energetic, but it has given her time to write some good posts.
I love your rhyming, it just fits in so well with the entire poem, and helps build the flow.
Great picture of Sally and Jack. I'm sure she's going to love this. BTW, I was waiting all day yesterday for this, lol.
Hugs,
Rhonda
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2024