Comment from Korton

Excellent

Well, you've certainly kept it going here. At least the girls have found clothing and shoes. Being barefoot for the trip to the second camp ground, Lenny and Jim should be gaining on them. Those fires can move very rapidly though and all of them may be in trouble soon. The beer and hard lemonade may slow them down as well. Very well done.

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2008

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2008

Hey Frank,

Well, of all the things there could be in the cooler! Poor kids. Yeah, those fires can move with incredible speed.

So glad you liked this one. We're moving right along! Thanks as always for the great comments and your super R&R.

Hugs,
Gayle

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

Very well written. You have done a splendid job of keeping the suspense level up. I didn't see and SPAGs. Not identifying the exact location of the rescuers and the girls, brings up the question, "Is the fire separating them.? You have kept the reader's attention.

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2008

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2008

Hey Lucas,

Thanks so much for the grand review and your idea. I agree, and will get in there and do it.

I appreciate your efforts and great comments.

Gayle

reply by c_lucas on 07-Jun-2008

You're welcome

Comment from dportwood

Excellent

Enjoyable reading with excitement and intrigue. Good exlanations, good descriptions. Entertaining.

A few things:

The deafening wail of fire trucks roaring up the steep road filled the afternoon with cacaphony made the

should have a comma or 'and' after cacaphony

hazzard s/b hazard

concious s/b conscious

Otherwise good job
dportwood

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2008

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2008

Hello, D,

Thanks so much for those. I blushed as I fexed them! I greatly appreciate the R&R and your kind comments. Hope to see you back again.

Gayle

Comment from Luther McDaniel

Excellent

Great story. With the exception of one minor gramma spoof, I noticed no errors. (Look we have to get out if here.) Maybe a comma behind look, or an exclamation. Like I said, minor.
Really get the feel for the intenseness here. Again, great job.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2008

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2008

Hey Luther,

Thanks so much for the great review and I'll get that comma in there. Thanks for the eagle eye and I hope to see you again,

Gayle