Special Delivery
Somebody knows . . . somebody always knows.71 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
This is quite a chilling story. The writing is we;; consturcted. The murder is extremely brutal. I'm not sure since he had it planned and he had stopped loving the lady if he would have made such a mess to be cleaned up. He apparently didn't want to deal with court even though there was a prenuptal in place. It seems he made a much bigger problem for himself that that would have been. The surprise ending is good.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2009
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This is quite a chilling story. The writing is we;; consturcted. The murder is extremely brutal. I'm not sure since he had it planned and he had stopped loving the lady if he would have made such a mess to be cleaned up. He apparently didn't want to deal with court even though there was a prenuptal in place. It seems he made a much bigger problem for himself that that would have been. The surprise ending is good.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2009
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Yeah, Beth, as I mentione din the story, he has people to clean up his messes...Aint that just so special...LOL...Thanks so much...Bob
Comment from AlvinTEthington
Certainly an exciting and suspenseful story. The mystery of who left the dead heads is fascinating. You show well what an adulterous spouse can drive her partner to. An excellent Halloween story.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2009
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Certainly an exciting and suspenseful story. The mystery of who left the dead heads is fascinating. You show well what an adulterous spouse can drive her partner to. An excellent Halloween story.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2009
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Hey, Al! Thanks so much...I'v emissed you, guy. I always appreciate your reviews and comments...sincerely...Bob
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Thank you.
Comment from Penpal
A very creepy read with an even creepier ending. I was drawn into this as I love horror, and found your descriptions to be remarkable. Sounds, smells, along with the other gory details worked in with the story well, and I enjoyed the read.
I found nothing to critique except the "full to the brim" mention about the bra, perhaps a tad cliche.
Good luck in the contest, I found this story to be professionally written.
Nice twist in the end.
Pen
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2009
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A very creepy read with an even creepier ending. I was drawn into this as I love horror, and found your descriptions to be remarkable. Sounds, smells, along with the other gory details worked in with the story well, and I enjoyed the read.
I found nothing to critique except the "full to the brim" mention about the bra, perhaps a tad cliche.
Good luck in the contest, I found this story to be professionally written.
Nice twist in the end.
Pen
Comment Written 31-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2009
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Thanks Penpal...I appreciate your in depth review.."to the brim" is very cliche...but not when it comes to describing a boob fitting in a bra...LOL..Bob
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lol
Comment from Heidixoxo
Just amazing....Each story of yours seems to better than the last and I sisnt think that was possible my friend. I truly enjoy reading your work as I find it interesting and easy to read. Job well done....xoxo
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2009
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Just amazing....Each story of yours seems to better than the last and I sisnt think that was possible my friend. I truly enjoy reading your work as I find it interesting and easy to read. Job well done....xoxo
Comment Written 31-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2009
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Awww. Hey, you are making my head swell...LOl Thanks so much, Heidi. I am so pleased that you liked this one...Bob
Comment from Deejharrington
Talk about trick or treat! What a well crafted and suspenseful story. And just the right touch of sex and gruesome violence. A little something for everyone for Halloween! Terrific story, I'll be surprised if it doesn't win!
deb
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2009
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Talk about trick or treat! What a well crafted and suspenseful story. And just the right touch of sex and gruesome violence. A little something for everyone for Halloween! Terrific story, I'll be surprised if it doesn't win!
deb
Comment Written 31-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2009
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Thanks so muc, D.J. I appreciate your encouraging review....Bob
Comment from nora arjuna
hi Bob, you have quite a mixture in here - sex, brutal killings (which you excelled the most here) and the horror part at the end. i like the starting line. wish you much luck with this.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2009
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hi Bob, you have quite a mixture in here - sex, brutal killings (which you excelled the most here) and the horror part at the end. i like the starting line. wish you much luck with this.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2009
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Thanks Arjuna..What did you think of Charlie's part in all of this? Bob
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could he be the one who delivered the head?
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No...I meant what didm you think of him as a character and his effect in the story.
Comment from Nightwind1
This was a gory Halloween scare. Everyone paid in the end of the story. I think that you will do well in the contest. Good luck.
The body of the women(woman) he loved
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2009
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This was a gory Halloween scare. Everyone paid in the end of the story. I think that you will do well in the contest. Good luck.
The body of the women(woman) he loved
Comment Written 31-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2009
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Thanks, Nightwind...Since you liked it...is there something I can do to garner the other star? Bob
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I do apologize. The four stars is simply the reader hitting the wrong button. I did change it to 5 stars.
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Awww. Thanks so much, Steve...Bob
Comment from Jay Squires
Bob, you dickens you! The only thing better than the gore was the sex. A Santa Claus you weren't in this piece!
I only have a couple of comments, one dubious, the other I think you might profit by changing.
Twenty-three years younger than him when they married,[Grammatically, of course, it should be "than he", but if you are staying within the colloquialism of the character, rather than the narrative, "him" would be acceptable.
he'd married a tarantula disguised as Betty Crocker. [Now, that's good!]
There was no other way, Lisa had to go [would you consider a semi-colon after "way" instead of a comma? They are two complete sentences.]
Then she dropped as though somebody had cut her puppet strings. [a great simile!]
A great tale, well told! A dynamic entry for the contest.
Blessings,
Jay
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2009
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Bob, you dickens you! The only thing better than the gore was the sex. A Santa Claus you weren't in this piece!
I only have a couple of comments, one dubious, the other I think you might profit by changing.
Twenty-three years younger than him when they married,[Grammatically, of course, it should be "than he", but if you are staying within the colloquialism of the character, rather than the narrative, "him" would be acceptable.
he'd married a tarantula disguised as Betty Crocker. [Now, that's good!]
There was no other way, Lisa had to go [would you consider a semi-colon after "way" instead of a comma? They are two complete sentences.]
Then she dropped as though somebody had cut her puppet strings. [a great simile!]
A great tale, well told! A dynamic entry for the contest.
Blessings,
Jay
Comment Written 31-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2009
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Hi, Jay. Where ya been? I remember you when I was on in 2006. Thanks for the great review, my friend...I will take the semicolon...why not? Just an oversight on my part...Take care...Bob
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I've been away for a few years, reviving a faltering business. Now I'm back and enjoying myself.
Jay
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Great, Jay! I was gone from early 2007 until this year...LOL..Bob
Comment from ~Sarina Ali-McBride~
As usual, another good work from you, Bob. I wasn't sure about the first part when he said, "Doing it in your house rattles me a little, baby, that's all." seemingly out of the blue. I could understand the first part but didn't think the "that's all" was necessary because she didn't say anything to him to invoke a response.
"Heeeeeeeeere's Toneeeee!" he yelled. ---------------) I LOVED that part. Classic. lol
Surprising ending.
Good job and keep up the good work.
---Em
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2009
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As usual, another good work from you, Bob. I wasn't sure about the first part when he said, "Doing it in your house rattles me a little, baby, that's all." seemingly out of the blue. I could understand the first part but didn't think the "that's all" was necessary because she didn't say anything to him to invoke a response.
"Heeeeeeeeere's Toneeeee!" he yelled. ---------------) I LOVED that part. Classic. lol
Surprising ending.
Good job and keep up the good work.
---Em
Comment Written 31-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2009
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Thanks so much, Emily...I do appreciate your review as always.....Bob
Comment from Solrac
This is a mix of HEAT, PSYCHO, THE POINT OF NO RETURN, and hundred other great movies, BUT, what the movies lacked this story tells us, and with a high impact. Superb!
Solrac
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009
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This is a mix of HEAT, PSYCHO, THE POINT OF NO RETURN, and hundred other great movies, BUT, what the movies lacked this story tells us, and with a high impact. Superb!
Solrac
Comment Written 30-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009
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Thanks a ton, Solrac....I appreciate it so much...Bob