Dust Bunnies
a woman cleaning/subtle horror/no gore28 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
I really like the dark humor of this one, Susan - it's dark enough that the woman's depression, loneliness and fears are palpable, but it's also pretty damned funny in several parts where she is conversing with the dust mop :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2010
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I really like the dark humor of this one, Susan - it's dark enough that the woman's depression, loneliness and fears are palpable, but it's also pretty damned funny in several parts where she is conversing with the dust mop :-) Brooke
Comment Written 29-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2010
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Hi Brooke! This is me...just a nut! ") I am glad you had fun reading this! I did chase the dust bunnies tonight. Altho I didn't let them get me this time! ") Thank you for being here Brooke!! HUG! Susan
Comment from Rama Rao
What a story!
The hooror was all in your mind; there was nothing external.
It made fascinating reading and showed your excellent imagination.
I feel sorry to point out the sapgs every time. Mind you it is all part of constructive criticism.
1. Windows, and
2. The mop speaks truth.
3. small, beady=paired adjectives.
4. mop, and
5. The one I love is gone, and
6. stand still, and
7. deep, dark
8. dustmop, dustmote, and dustbunnies are each two words. Kindly check.
Otherwise a fine story.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2010
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What a story!
The hooror was all in your mind; there was nothing external.
It made fascinating reading and showed your excellent imagination.
I feel sorry to point out the sapgs every time. Mind you it is all part of constructive criticism.
1. Windows, and
2. The mop speaks truth.
3. small, beady=paired adjectives.
4. mop, and
5. The one I love is gone, and
6. stand still, and
7. deep, dark
8. dustmop, dustmote, and dustbunnies are each two words. Kindly check.
Otherwise a fine story.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2010
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It's okay my friend...I appreciate this help and just to have you read for me is great! I sure wish I could learn something. Boy. Bless you for being here for me. Happy New Year Ramarao! Susan
Comment from Sasha
You should have put this under biographical non-fiction. 'Cause I know for a fact that dust bunnies are real and have a mind of their own. No you are not crazy, they are. Tough little buggers to get rid of too. I thought this was hysterical and made me laugh out loud. Very, very good work with this. Keep it up. I enjoyed this immensely.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2010
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You should have put this under biographical non-fiction. 'Cause I know for a fact that dust bunnies are real and have a mind of their own. No you are not crazy, they are. Tough little buggers to get rid of too. I thought this was hysterical and made me laugh out loud. Very, very good work with this. Keep it up. I enjoyed this immensely.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2010
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Well what a nice surprise! I am just ecstatic that you liked this Sasha! This is my fav. thing to do, little odd things like this, and you got a real kick out of it! That's so neat! Thank you for this! What fun. I really do have to dust! ") HUG!! Susan
Comment from c_lucas
If the dust bunnies get too frightening, throw a bucket of mop water on them. Thi is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2010
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If the dust bunnies get too frightening, throw a bucket of mop water on them. Thi is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2010
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") ahhhaaaa!! I should! I have to dust tonight, there are a couple of hardwood floors that the bunnies especially like! ") Thanks Charlie! I am glad you liked this? Susan
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You're welcome, Susan. Charlie
Comment from InterestingRon
A beautifully crafted story. Probably the hardest kind of horror fiction you can write - nothing actually happens - it's all in the head of a crazy woman. Although we still ask - is it?
I have to admit I sometimes talk to inanimate objects - and I've often wondered what I would do if they answered back!
Thanks for making me ponder.
Ron
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2010
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A beautifully crafted story. Probably the hardest kind of horror fiction you can write - nothing actually happens - it's all in the head of a crazy woman. Although we still ask - is it?
I have to admit I sometimes talk to inanimate objects - and I've often wondered what I would do if they answered back!
Thanks for making me ponder.
Ron
Comment Written 29-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2010
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Hi Ron! Thank you! I guess you and I are both a bit nuts!?? No, it's just fun to try something different! Great to hear from you!! Happy New Year too!! susan
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Hi susan. Happy New Year to You, sweetheart! xx
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Happy New Year to you as well Ron! I hope we all have it better soon!! ") Happy writing, I will try to catch up with your work asap...Suse
Comment from BethShelby
If dust bunnies multiply like regular bunnies I guess they could take over and drive you crazy. Once I had to recite a dramatic reading called Yellow Wallpaper where this woman goes mad looking at her walls. I think your writing is funny with the talking mop. The one on TV is on trial.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2010
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If dust bunnies multiply like regular bunnies I guess they could take over and drive you crazy. Once I had to recite a dramatic reading called Yellow Wallpaper where this woman goes mad looking at her walls. I think your writing is funny with the talking mop. The one on TV is on trial.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2010
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Hi Beth! ") I would like to read that story too! Sounds good. I like odd things. Tell me why the one on t.v. is on trial, did I miss something?? I have not seen him lately?? I love it! Thanks Beth! HAPPY NEW YEAR TOO!! Susan
Comment from Kingsland
You have found quite the imagination in this well written short story. I enjoyed reading this from first sentence to its last sentence. This was just a joy to have read and written a review for... John
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reply by the author on 29-Dec-2010
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You have found quite the imagination in this well written short story. I enjoyed reading this from first sentence to its last sentence. This was just a joy to have read and written a review for... John
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2010
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Hi John! Thank you for your encouragment...I am very glad you enjoyed this little tale. I wish you a Happy New Year too!! Thank you again! Susan
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I often feel the dustbunnies are taking over. I understand. With two large dogs in the house, it's also the dog hair that takes over. I feel ther maybe lost chihuahuas in the corners.
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reply by the author on 29-Dec-2010
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I often feel the dustbunnies are taking over. I understand. With two large dogs in the house, it's also the dog hair that takes over. I feel ther maybe lost chihuahuas in the corners.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2010
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Oh Thank you Barb! I am so glad you read this! That's funny, littel chihuahuas instead of bunnies! HA! Thank you so much...I hope you enjoyed this one! HUG! Susan