Hands
Things that go bump in the dark36 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
My, this is a creepy one,
Susan - I've often been
awake to stare into the
darkness and think I see
things, but when I turnt he
side light on, I realise it
the dark is playing tricks
with my sight. Still creepy though.
Loved this.
Margaret.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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My, this is a creepy one,
Susan - I've often been
awake to stare into the
darkness and think I see
things, but when I turnt he
side light on, I realise it
the dark is playing tricks
with my sight. Still creepy though.
Loved this.
Margaret.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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") Hi Margaret!! I have done this, but this was about a dream my son had when he was small? I will never forget how adament he was that real hands were after him! He was so scared. I had to put a night light in his room after that! I think, he was around nine? TOO much television! ") Thank you again Margaret! IT's wonderful to hear from you! I am working to get caught up with your work too!! luv, Susan
Comment from Mustang Patty
SO glad I read that in the bright light of day, and NOT last night before bed. I would've been traumatized and had to stay up all night!! This was well written and built tension of the BEST kind. Thanks! ~patty~
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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SO glad I read that in the bright light of day, and NOT last night before bed. I would've been traumatized and had to stay up all night!! This was well written and built tension of the BEST kind. Thanks! ~patty~
Comment Written 19-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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Hi Patty! OH bless your heart! I love to give people the creeps, so, but, don't want to really scare them! I'm glad I waited to post this then! ") I am happy you got a kick out of it tho! And thank you very much for a great reveiw!! HUG! Susan
Comment from E.P. Thomas
Suse,
I'm so far behind on my reviews of your work, so I'll start with the most recent and work back until I catch up. This is an interesting little piece, but to be honest it seems more like an anecdote than a short story. When you look at it from the defining characteristics os story, the piece has a setting, character, obstacle (surviving), and the resolution being the character is being choked. Nevertheless, it just doesn't feel like there's enough here to call it a story. I will say, however, that all of these short pieces have seemed to really help you with tightening your writing.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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Suse,
I'm so far behind on my reviews of your work, so I'll start with the most recent and work back until I catch up. This is an interesting little piece, but to be honest it seems more like an anecdote than a short story. When you look at it from the defining characteristics os story, the piece has a setting, character, obstacle (surviving), and the resolution being the character is being choked. Nevertheless, it just doesn't feel like there's enough here to call it a story. I will say, however, that all of these short pieces have seemed to really help you with tightening your writing.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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") HI G! Thank you! And I had it being more detailed, but cut a lot out? Should I put it back in? I will, if you think I should. It's great to have your input! Take your time, I am behind too, it's hard to do everything! Can't wait for your next post!! ") Susan
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I also forgot to mention that it was spooky. That element came across very well. And I was serious about your writing looking tighter. All of the short postings you've been doing have onviously helped you.
Comment from Fireshadow
A Twilight Zone episode ? LOL Very nicely written, Susan. Sometimes I wonder where your inspiration comes from, girl. The artwork is perfect for this brief narrative. Very well done, my friend.
Ama
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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A Twilight Zone episode ? LOL Very nicely written, Susan. Sometimes I wonder where your inspiration comes from, girl. The artwork is perfect for this brief narrative. Very well done, my friend.
Ama
Comment Written 19-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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") I didn't think of that! ") This was a dream my son had as a child, I don't know what made me remember it!? But it's fun to do creepy things once in a while? Thank you for being here for me Ama...xoxo. Susan
Comment from BethShelby
This is a horror story. Sometimes when I'm alone, which isn't often, my imagination runs away with me and I think I hear or see things in the night. I have had panic attacks and thought I was dying. This is eerie flash fiction. You are very good at doing microfiction.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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This is a horror story. Sometimes when I'm alone, which isn't often, my imagination runs away with me and I think I hear or see things in the night. I have had panic attacks and thought I was dying. This is eerie flash fiction. You are very good at doing microfiction.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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Hi Beth! Oh no...I went thru a spell of panic attacks years ago, this is awful. I would cry at the drop of a hat, and for no real reason...and would NOT be able to stop! THis is just from remembering a dream my son had years ago as a child. I don't know why I thought of it. Thank you my friend...I appreciate your being here for me! xoxo, Susan
Comment from livingwords
Well written. Scary, in fact. I don't know what you are talking about re the hands, you do a good job and I enjoyed anyway. Dan :))
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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Well written. Scary, in fact. I don't know what you are talking about re the hands, you do a good job and I enjoyed anyway. Dan :))
Comment Written 19-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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Hi Dan, It's just a dream that my son had as a child. I tried to put it into words. He was around eight or nine, and I had to finally put a nightlight in his room. We lived in an old house, so who knows?? Thank you Dan, I really appreciate your being here for me! Susan
Comment from jinxiegal
Wow that's creepy! This story is eerie and intriguing, and you make it come alive with vivid descriptions. I especially liked how you put: "My eyes go dry I stare so intently at the corner". I don't know why, but that sentance just really made it realistic to me! Great job :)
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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Wow that's creepy! This story is eerie and intriguing, and you make it come alive with vivid descriptions. I especially liked how you put: "My eyes go dry I stare so intently at the corner". I don't know why, but that sentance just really made it realistic to me! Great job :)
Comment Written 19-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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Hi Jinxie! Thank you!! This was a dream my son had when he was little...I don't know why I remembered it. But thank you again and I really do appreciate your time and review Jinxie!! HUG! Susan
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Gracious, that must have been a terrible dream. I once had a dream that a Barbie doll came to life and became a serial killer...perhaps I should write about it? LOL
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Of course, I for one would love to read about that! Little things like that are interesting! It doesn't have to be all about love or tragedy! ") Susan
Comment from misscookie
This is something else I glad I'm reading this in morning not at night Didn't think I could go to sleep for I live in a apartment and i alway hesr thumps day or night.
WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON NOW....No Dont TELL ME>
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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This is something else I glad I'm reading this in morning not at night Didn't think I could go to sleep for I live in a apartment and i alway hesr thumps day or night.
WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON NOW....No Dont TELL ME>
Comment Written 19-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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") Hi Cookie! Thank you extra special then!! I love this review, all this was, was a dream my son had once when he was little. I just tried to put it into words? I am happy and grateful you reviewed this anyway Cookie! IT's just a dream! HUG!! Susan
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Okiay Girl Friend just wondering.
Comment from fairydancer
Nicely done! Feeding well on our fears of being alone in our bed and being attacked.
Some good descriptions:
"a pale movement, reaching, undulating like belly dancers in the night."
Some nice poetic style too:
"The things that go bump in the night cannot get me anymore.
But I still stare, not believing, yet frozen in fear at what I know I saw."
A good read, thanks! - Cally :)
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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Nicely done! Feeding well on our fears of being alone in our bed and being attacked.
Some good descriptions:
"a pale movement, reaching, undulating like belly dancers in the night."
Some nice poetic style too:
"The things that go bump in the night cannot get me anymore.
But I still stare, not believing, yet frozen in fear at what I know I saw."
A good read, thanks! - Cally :)
Comment Written 19-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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Hi Cally! Thank YOU! I really enjoyed this review and appreciate you taking time for me! This was just a nightmare my son had when he was small and I tried to put it into words...he had to have a nightlight in his room after this! ") Good to hear from you Cally!! Susan
Comment from Sarah_Goldwell
This is a very strong piece of writing; it is very non passive and is written with varied vocabulary and good use of imagery and description
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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This is a very strong piece of writing; it is very non passive and is written with varied vocabulary and good use of imagery and description
Comment Written 19-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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Hi Goldwell! Thanks! This review is encouraging and I really appreciate it! I'm glad to hear from you!! Susan