Anger/hate
Senryu about feeling ; 5-7-529 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
That's two posts today--your muse is in overdrive! I admired your good advice. (I think it might be better to keep the verbs together and move "sometimes" to follow "Anger".) Best wishes in the 5-7-5 contest. -Joan
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
That's two posts today--your muse is in overdrive! I admired your good advice. (I think it might be better to keep the verbs together and move "sometimes" to follow "Anger".) Best wishes in the 5-7-5 contest. -Joan
Comment Written 06-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
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Thanks for review and tip
Comment from Jewell McChesney
Your senryu has a valid point. I feel the word choices could be better but your concept is good.
The intro line, " for us as humans"
is unnecessary.
Suggestion:
Do not be hateful
Anger like a harmful drug
Has painful chain reaction
Good luck ...
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reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
Your senryu has a valid point. I feel the word choices could be better but your concept is good.
The intro line, " for us as humans"
is unnecessary.
Suggestion:
Do not be hateful
Anger like a harmful drug
Has painful chain reaction
Good luck ...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
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Thanks for review and sorry-am only a stupid Dutchie
Comment from Dutchie
Very clever this poem. Sometimes you don't need words to hurt somebody. The attitude will cause sometimes a discharge.
That's why the artwork is chosen so well. Great. Liefs Fia
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
Very clever this poem. Sometimes you don't need words to hurt somebody. The attitude will cause sometimes a discharge.
That's why the artwork is chosen so well. Great. Liefs Fia
Comment Written 06-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
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Thanks so much again Fia;actually you also get rhyming dictionaries on internet.
Liefs,
Ine
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You're welcome. For rhyming words I use rhymezone on the internet.Liefs
Fia
Comment from fireflylil
Very nicely done, great picture! This is so true. Hate hurts mostly ones self. It will destroy you from the inside. Anger has other releases. Good job!
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
Very nicely done, great picture! This is so true. Hate hurts mostly ones self. It will destroy you from the inside. Anger has other releases. Good job!
Comment Written 06-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
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Thanks for your generous review firefly
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is an interesting poem on a worthy topic. It meets the criteria of this contest as to form and syllable count. Best regards, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
This is an interesting poem on a worthy topic. It meets the criteria of this contest as to form and syllable count. Best regards, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 06-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
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Thanks Jeanie;counted them myself as well-LOL.
Growing somewhat wiser.
Comment from jaded831
Very profound, your poem reads well. People lash out in anger and the other person may never forgive. In reality they only hurt themselves by not forgiving.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
Very profound, your poem reads well. People lash out in anger and the other person may never forgive. In reality they only hurt themselves by not forgiving.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
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Thanks for generous review;did not like it so much after I finished.
Comment from peggles
A perfect sentiment
Good use of phrasing used
A strong message given in a tiny amount of words
Very well done
Best wishes for the contest
I am surely will do well
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
A perfect sentiment
Good use of phrasing used
A strong message given in a tiny amount of words
Very well done
Best wishes for the contest
I am surely will do well
Comment Written 06-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
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Thanks so much Peggles;did you really mean that as I started doubting it more then a bit.
But it was entered.
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Of course I meant it I thought this was a first class piece of work you have talent
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Thanks,my confidence was down for sure
Comment from Denise S
A well needed message sent here. I really liked it a lot. We should not allow the sun to go down on our anger that is so true. Really nice.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
A well needed message sent here. I really liked it a lot. We should not allow the sun to go down on our anger that is so true. Really nice.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
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Thanks for your review Denise.
Comment from barfy
Never truer words were ever spoken...
A very handsome composition. Technically perfect.
I wish you well with this work.
Thank you
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reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
Never truer words were ever spoken...
A very handsome composition. Technically perfect.
I wish you well with this work.
Thank you
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
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Thanks for review.