Cure for Depression
The cure for depression can be found if you grasp it. My ART46 total reviews
Comment from megclare
A potent message in a very engaging style. I liked the structural and rhythmic variations which gave interest to the poem.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2012
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A potent message in a very engaging style. I liked the structural and rhythmic variations which gave interest to the poem.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2012
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Thank you for your appreciative review. CG
Comment from rama devi
Wow--this is very unique and rich in wisdom as well as potent self-expression. i love the musical quality and the way you use dramatic pause via line breaks. Good well timed rhyming gives it added musicality.
The thing I find distracting is the repeat of so many lines starting with 'A'. in the first stanza is works great but in the second stanza it feels overdone.
A no-win situation
At all
A wasteful contemplation
A bore
A mindless constipation
Of war
A massive self-destruction
Of loss
Secret human malfunction
May I suggest an alternative to consider?
No-win situation
At all
Wasteful contemplation
A bore
Mindless constipation
Of war
Massive self-destruction
Of loss
Secret human malfunction
Good stanza and shift in tone-
So rise up and claim
Your own
Good fortune and fame
The bone
In your spinal frame
The known
Behind your first name
Nice concepts and well voiced-
Remember who you are
Valued one
Life's journey is not far
Lonely one
Believe in that bright star
Special one
Follow it high and far
Only one
Chance from this disaster
Nice triple rhyme with tons of meaning and good one-word lines for highlighting effect-
Believe
Achieve
Relieve
Good rhyming and flow-
Your confession
Your depression
Suggest making these four lines one stanza, just because they are one sentence, though the enjambement works fine too...
Start now--today
Throw it away
With the life-line rope
The power of HOPE
Potent presentation with chosen artwork.
Warm welcome to Fanstory--I look forward to reading more from you.
Smiles, rd
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2012
|
Wow--this is very unique and rich in wisdom as well as potent self-expression. i love the musical quality and the way you use dramatic pause via line breaks. Good well timed rhyming gives it added musicality.
The thing I find distracting is the repeat of so many lines starting with 'A'. in the first stanza is works great but in the second stanza it feels overdone.
A no-win situation
At all
A wasteful contemplation
A bore
A mindless constipation
Of war
A massive self-destruction
Of loss
Secret human malfunction
May I suggest an alternative to consider?
No-win situation
At all
Wasteful contemplation
A bore
Mindless constipation
Of war
Massive self-destruction
Of loss
Secret human malfunction
Good stanza and shift in tone-
So rise up and claim
Your own
Good fortune and fame
The bone
In your spinal frame
The known
Behind your first name
Nice concepts and well voiced-
Remember who you are
Valued one
Life's journey is not far
Lonely one
Believe in that bright star
Special one
Follow it high and far
Only one
Chance from this disaster
Nice triple rhyme with tons of meaning and good one-word lines for highlighting effect-
Believe
Achieve
Relieve
Good rhyming and flow-
Your confession
Your depression
Suggest making these four lines one stanza, just because they are one sentence, though the enjambement works fine too...
Start now--today
Throw it away
With the life-line rope
The power of HOPE
Potent presentation with chosen artwork.
Warm welcome to Fanstory--I look forward to reading more from you.
Smiles, rd
Comment Written 28-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2012
-
Thank you for your good and appreciative review. CG
Comment from koolaid228
BRAVO!Your poem is very encouraging and inspirational all at the same time as well ,You see I have had a few bouts with depression first hand,some people think that your actually crazy and don't really know about it or understand,another story,another day.It was a pleasure to read this,thank you for sharing. koolaid
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2012
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BRAVO!Your poem is very encouraging and inspirational all at the same time as well ,You see I have had a few bouts with depression first hand,some people think that your actually crazy and don't really know about it or understand,another story,another day.It was a pleasure to read this,thank you for sharing. koolaid
Comment Written 12-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2012
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Thank you for your good review. I have struggled with it too. CG
Comment from MidnightWriter4U
Very good poetic piece on depression with an ending line of hope. Artwork goes well with theme. Background color choice fits mood of poem. Good job.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2012
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Very good poetic piece on depression with an ending line of hope. Artwork goes well with theme. Background color choice fits mood of poem. Good job.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2012
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Thank you for your good review. Art by me. CG
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You're welcome. Great job on art. :)
Comment from Meta~Mark
the arwotk was liek a knife telling me to read this and life is but a cutting sword of life's depressive edge.
A no-win situation
At all
A wasteful contemplation
A bore
A mindless constipation
Of war
A massive self-destruction
Of loss
Secret human malfunction - compelling
excellent job!
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2012
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the arwotk was liek a knife telling me to read this and life is but a cutting sword of life's depressive edge.
A no-win situation
At all
A wasteful contemplation
A bore
A mindless constipation
Of war
A massive self-destruction
Of loss
Secret human malfunction - compelling
excellent job!
Comment Written 11-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2012
-
Thank you Mark for your good review. CG
Comment from wordsareus
I really like your poem. It has a very powerful message. I also like the format that you chose to present it in as well as the image of the dagger.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2012
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I really like your poem. It has a very powerful message. I also like the format that you chose to present it in as well as the image of the dagger.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2012
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Thank you for your good review. Everybody has liked this one! Yay - I got something right. Art by me. Have a good day. CG
Comment from dmt1967
This is a good strong poem my friend I think hope is the most powerful emotion going because without it there is nothing thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2012
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This is a good strong poem my friend I think hope is the most powerful emotion going because without it there is nothing thank you for sharing
Comment Written 11-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2012
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Thank you for your good review. We all need HOPE. CG
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Curly Girly ....
In this well-worded presentation, you have dealt with depression and its effects ... as well as the need to deal with it with courage before, like the double-edged sword, it manages to separate the various aspects of life,
one from another.
I enjoyed reading this and there is nothing to suggest changing.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2012
|
Hullo Curly Girly ....
In this well-worded presentation, you have dealt with depression and its effects ... as well as the need to deal with it with courage before, like the double-edged sword, it manages to separate the various aspects of life,
one from another.
I enjoyed reading this and there is nothing to suggest changing.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2012
-
Thank you for your good review Nanette. CG
Comment from visionary1234
I deal with two people close to me who are dealing with depression, and it's horriffic - because it's like they are two different people - one whom I loathe, and one whom I love - so it's hard for the people around them, too - not just for the victims, hard though that may sound. The hardest part - I think that's what you're pointing out - is the acknowledgement that 1. there's a problem and 2. that it has a name. Good write CG! :) Sharyn
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2012
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I deal with two people close to me who are dealing with depression, and it's horriffic - because it's like they are two different people - one whom I loathe, and one whom I love - so it's hard for the people around them, too - not just for the victims, hard though that may sound. The hardest part - I think that's what you're pointing out - is the acknowledgement that 1. there's a problem and 2. that it has a name. Good write CG! :) Sharyn
Comment Written 11-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2012
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Thanks for your good review. I have struggled with it on and off myself. I understand it. 1. Identify the cause.
2. Eradicate it - or (if you can't) YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT.
3. Don't dwell on the past or negative things.
4. Find a hobby or sport and sink yourself into it - stay busy. 5. Magnesium tablets can help (especially in cold climates like where I live) and vit B.
6. You DO owe it to your family and friends to recover - otherwise you will chase them away with your misery!
7. Terrible things happen to nice people every day somewhere in the world - be glad that it is not YOU or YOUR family.
8. Be thankful. Think about the good things in your life.
9. This is the temporary life and it is nearly over for most of us.
10. Eternity is ahead - it will last forever - are we preparing well for it?
Well that sums up my ideas of recovery.
I feel for you having to deal with it. These people do need support though - but can be very draining!
Best wishes and thanks once again for the good review.
CG
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thx so much for all those great hints CG! I seriously do appreciate them, because I DO lose patience sometimes - as I'm the "Pollyanna" type, it's extra hard - for BOTH parties! :) Sharyn
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Curly Girly, anyone that successfully keeps this insidious torment at bay deserves the highest praise, and of cause I really enjoyed your poem about the dreaded black dog. Your first six lines said it all. Kindest thoughts James xx
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2012
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Hi Curly Girly, anyone that successfully keeps this insidious torment at bay deserves the highest praise, and of cause I really enjoyed your poem about the dreaded black dog. Your first six lines said it all. Kindest thoughts James xx
Comment Written 11-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2012
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Thank you James for a good review. CG
