Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

This is a very pretty children's poem and perfect for the contest entry. I particularly like your first stanza and the two lines -


Oh moon why do you ring your face
With cloudy mist of angel lace? - This is lovely and a

perfect use of metaphor.

Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2016

---

reply by the author on 30-Jan-2016

Thank you so much for your review. I always loved the moon as a child.

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

very nice and very well written, great rhyming and a good rhythm. i;m sure children will love it. Good luck and have a wonderful day.

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2016

---

reply by the author on 30-Jan-2016

Thank you so much for your review. I always loved the moon as a child.

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A beautiful poem of the magical moon. Teaching the children why the moon shines at night to provide some light for us to see in the dark. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2016

---

reply by the author on 30-Jan-2016

Thank you so much for your review. I always loved the moon as a child.

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

I enjoyed your poem. I like to read about the moon and stars. Good job with the prompt and the rhyme.

Suggestion:

You used a question mark once but nowhere else. I would use it in all verses or not at all.

I believe children would be interested in this in the right setting.

Good job and thanks for sharing. Best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2016

---

reply by the author on 30-Jan-2016

Thanks for the review and suggestions. I checked back and found I missed ending a couple of the lines with question marks just as you found. Great pick up and I appreciate your advice. I fixed it.

Comment from Douglas Paul

Excellent

I like this one and I think the children will like it too. I really like your last verse and the question you ask at the end. I think that will stick in kids minds. Very nice

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2016

---

reply by the author on 30-Jan-2016

Thank you so much for your review. I always loved the moon as a child.

Comment from JanPerry

Good

It's a nice poem about the moon. I don't know if children are that interested in it though.
If it weren't for children, it would be a higher grade. As children have different interests these days, new toys, mobile phones, and colouring in books, it seems silly to tell them about the moon!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2016

---

reply by the author on 30-Jan-2016

I am going to compose a children's book and this is one of the pages. I think small children that have things read to them might benefit. I hope the old standards hold that long. I plan on reading to my grandson and the color learning book still works. Let's hope this does too. Thanks for your comments and, yes, this generation is too involved in electronics.

Comment from Neonewman

Excellent

Wow! What a wonderful entry this well crafted, smooth piece you have delivered is for this contest. I will have to read it over once more before moving on. Best of luck.
God bless!
Steve

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2016

---

reply by the author on 30-Jan-2016

Thank you so much for your review. I always loved the moon as a child.

Comment from kathleenspalding

Excellent

Very nice and enjoyable poem. The last line gave me a big smile. :-D. Excellent choice of artwork. I got a little confused about "round one" as I first read it. Would something like "round shape" work? It's meaning would be more obvious. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2016

---

reply by the author on 30-Jan-2016

Thanks for your kind suggestion. I checked and your idea worked much better in that line. Again I thank you.

reply by kathleenspalding on 30-Jan-2016

You're very welcome :-)

Comment from Ricky1024

Excellent

nice weekend thoroughly enjoyed this piece children's poetry is always my favorite I've written to box with a shed a tear more for kid more tears and shed a tear fairy tales and fables with a lesson that is narrated by Annie Oakley probably my favorite it writing thing to do thanks very much 24 out

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2016

---

reply by the author on 30-Jan-2016

Thank you so much for your review. I always loved the moon as a child.