A living Nightmare
100 Words Contest40 total reviews
Comment from c_lucas
One needs to face their fears to gain control over them. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is very good imagery.
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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One needs to face their fears to gain control over them. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is very good imagery.
Comment Written 19-May-2016
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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Thank you so much for the review. All the best. Ulla:)
Comment from mfowler
Your mini-flash does a great job in setting the scene for the ultimate snatching or murder of this female protagonist. You appeal to many senses in your descriptive work. I think that's a key element of hooking the reader's attention. There's one suggestion I'd like to make and hope you agree. If you read the first sentence carefully it sounds like her eyes were bathed in cold sweat. May I suggest? 'She awoke suddenly, found her body bathed in cold sweat,; adrenaline cursing through her veins.' 15 words in yours and mine. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
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Your mini-flash does a great job in setting the scene for the ultimate snatching or murder of this female protagonist. You appeal to many senses in your descriptive work. I think that's a key element of hooking the reader's attention. There's one suggestion I'd like to make and hope you agree. If you read the first sentence carefully it sounds like her eyes were bathed in cold sweat. May I suggest? 'She awoke suddenly, found her body bathed in cold sweat,; adrenaline cursing through her veins.' 15 words in yours and mine. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-May-2016
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
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Hi there, thanks for the great review, and I'm so pleased that you liked it. I have made changes and I think it reads okay by now. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment from kathleenspalding
Ooooo Yuuuuck! Proper scary story with only one hundred words. Great job! Should you wish, you could eliminate a couple "the"s to give yourself a couple other words. But it's great as is. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
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Ooooo Yuuuuck! Proper scary story with only one hundred words. Great job! Should you wish, you could eliminate a couple "the"s to give yourself a couple other words. But it's great as is. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
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Thanks ever so much. I have edited a lot and I think and hope it reads better now. All the best. Ulla:))
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You're welcome. Looking forward to the re-read. :-)
Comment from candyfink
Yep, that's a living nightmare......hope you finish the story ........ I'm scared to think if you did, chilling......... good luck in the conntest.
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
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Yep, that's a living nightmare......hope you finish the story ........ I'm scared to think if you did, chilling......... good luck in the conntest.
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
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Thank you so much for the great review. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment from frogbook
Great suspense and great ending leaving us still holding our breath. I love a good horror story and love flash fiction so this is a winner in my book.
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
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Great suspense and great ending leaving us still holding our breath. I love a good horror story and love flash fiction so this is a winner in my book.
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
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Thank you so much for this great review, and the encouraging words. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from Caressa_08
Well, you told a lot and let the reader to anticipate something was going to happen with the scary suspense leading to the very end, and like how creative you were with the very last paragraph. Though, don't understand about the warning, if the word, bloody, is the only thing, though very mild if any violence with that word being used. Kids these days see a lot more scarier things on TV than what you typed, even in cartoons.
This is the first story for this contest that I read, plan to read all of them, and then will make my judgement on who to vote for...Caressa_08
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
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Well, you told a lot and let the reader to anticipate something was going to happen with the scary suspense leading to the very end, and like how creative you were with the very last paragraph. Though, don't understand about the warning, if the word, bloody, is the only thing, though very mild if any violence with that word being used. Kids these days see a lot more scarier things on TV than what you typed, even in cartoons.
This is the first story for this contest that I read, plan to read all of them, and then will make my judgement on who to vote for...Caressa_08
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
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Hello Caressa, Thanks a lot for your great review and support. I do agree with you that it shouldn't be necessary to put a warning out, but I've learned that there a few sensitive souls around here. So, I thought, better be on the safe side. Thanks again. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from Bella_Joy
Very good imagery. I could feel the fear and picture the character's reactions. Very good description of the feeling of waking up from a nightmare. The pace made my heart beat faster and left me wanting more!
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
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Very good imagery. I could feel the fear and picture the character's reactions. Very good description of the feeling of waking up from a nightmare. The pace made my heart beat faster and left me wanting more!
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
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thank you so much. Ulla:))
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was a nightmare that came true! Very good, the imagination takes over and we can visualize what is happening as it happens. Excellent contest entry, and all done in a hundred words. Well done, and good luck! xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
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That was a nightmare that came true! Very good, the imagination takes over and we can visualize what is happening as it happens. Excellent contest entry, and all done in a hundred words. Well done, and good luck! xsx Sandra
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
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Hi Sandra, I'm glad you liked it. This is only my second time ever trying something eerie like this. All best. Ulla xxx
Comment from Kooky Clown
What a chilling read and so enjoyable I can't imagine the horror of waking from a nightmare to realise that the nightmare is about to come true in the most horrid fashion, and no way to call for help as you can't find the bloody phone. Great stuff.
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
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What a chilling read and so enjoyable I can't imagine the horror of waking from a nightmare to realise that the nightmare is about to come true in the most horrid fashion, and no way to call for help as you can't find the bloody phone. Great stuff.
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
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Hi Kooky, I'm so glad that you liked it. Thanks again. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment from William Ross
very good and a great thriller on such a short write. great job on this, I'm sure it will do real well on the prompt. good luck and have a great day
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
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very good and a great thriller on such a short write. great job on this, I'm sure it will do real well on the prompt. good luck and have a great day
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
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Thank you so much.I'm thrilled that you liked it. All the best. Ulla:))