Poems By AnnieDawn
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Lost In A Snowstorm"My book of poems and stories
30 total reviews
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
What must this child have felt, alone under a tree during this blizzard.
Well written with some excellent lines that keeps the reader fixated.
But for me the last two lines really got to me....a brilliant poem.
Have a lovely evening
Mitchell
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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What must this child have felt, alone under a tree during this blizzard.
Well written with some excellent lines that keeps the reader fixated.
But for me the last two lines really got to me....a brilliant poem.
Have a lovely evening
Mitchell
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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Thank you for your review. I was not sure how this would be received but enjoyed writing it. At the time it felt like it would be the end of life, even though it was at so young an age. The storm was unusual for the city we lived in and the teacher was fired for sending children out to walk home in the storm.
Comment from Irish Rain
Wonderful story. Reminds me of the 'Stephen King' book, 'The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon'...but she was lost in the woods. Very clever going down the alphabet like that! Blessings...
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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Wonderful story. Reminds me of the 'Stephen King' book, 'The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon'...but she was lost in the woods. Very clever going down the alphabet like that! Blessings...
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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Thank you for your review. I was not sure how this would be received but enjoyed writing it. At the time it felt like it would be the end of life, even though it was at so young an age. The storm was unusual for the city we lived in and the teacher was fired for sending children out to walk home in the storm.
Comment from WalkerMan
This aptly illustrated poem does succeed in evoking feelings of concern for the life of this child lost in an unexpected heavy snowstorm as darkness approaches. It is a relief to learn from your notes that the real event that inspired this poem turned out well, for many such situations do not. The skillful initial line letters are transparent to the reader, as the subject matter consumes the focus; I did not notice until I reread the Description. Well done.
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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This aptly illustrated poem does succeed in evoking feelings of concern for the life of this child lost in an unexpected heavy snowstorm as darkness approaches. It is a relief to learn from your notes that the real event that inspired this poem turned out well, for many such situations do not. The skillful initial line letters are transparent to the reader, as the subject matter consumes the focus; I did not notice until I reread the Description. Well done.
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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Thank you for your review. I was not sure how this would be received but enjoyed writing it. At the time it felt like it would be the end of life, even though it was at so young an age. The storm was unusual for the city we lived in and the teacher was fired for sending children out to walk home in the storm.
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You are welcome, Annie. I wondered whether you were that child, and you just confirmed it. So glad you survived, as the odds were against you. That teacher clearly had neither common sense nor compassion -- probably focused on just going home rather than willing to stay and keep the class busy until all were picked up by their parents. Firing wasn't enough if any child died as a result of such negligence. -- Mike
Comment from patcelaw
This is a heart wrenching story poem and is quite well done. It is a little hard for me to read. If you were to lighten the background a bit, it would be easier for bad eyes o read. Patricia
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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This is a heart wrenching story poem and is quite well done. It is a little hard for me to read. If you were to lighten the background a bit, it would be easier for bad eyes o read. Patricia
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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Thank you for your review. I was not sure how this would be received but enjoyed writing it. At the time it felt like it would be the end of life, even though it was at so young an age. The storm was unusual for the city we lived in and the teacher was fired for sending children out to walk home in the storm.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A tragic story and I can't imagine such horrendous weather as this and how terrifying it must have been for a seven year old! So glad she was found. Your poem is heartfelt and honest and I could feel the freezing cold whilst reading, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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A tragic story and I can't imagine such horrendous weather as this and how terrifying it must have been for a seven year old! So glad she was found. Your poem is heartfelt and honest and I could feel the freezing cold whilst reading, love Dolly x
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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Thank you for your review. I was not sure how this would be received but enjoyed writing it. At the time it felt like it would be the end of life, even though it was at so young an age. The storm was unusual for the city we lived in and the teacher was fired for sending children out to walk home in the storm.
Comment from Mustang Patty
the story told within the lines of the poem is very sad. However, it can happen to anyone venturing out into a storm. You have created a great deal of empathy for the main character, and a sense of sadness at the end. Thank you for sharing your poem and author's notes,
~patty~
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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the story told within the lines of the poem is very sad. However, it can happen to anyone venturing out into a storm. You have created a great deal of empathy for the main character, and a sense of sadness at the end. Thank you for sharing your poem and author's notes,
~patty~
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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Thank you for your review. I was not sure how this would be received but enjoyed writing it. At the time it felt like it would be the end of life, even though it was at so young an age. The storm was unusual for the city we lived in and the teacher was fired for sending children out to walk home in the storm.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Excellent poem, Annie, and I particularly enjoyed the way you ended this.
I felt it did help the climactic ending stand out from the rest of the poem.
Your rhyming was also very well done.
How fitting, to be frozen to death in a graveyard.
At least your body wouldn't have to be moved too far once it was discovered.
Thanks so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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Excellent poem, Annie, and I particularly enjoyed the way you ended this.
I felt it did help the climactic ending stand out from the rest of the poem.
Your rhyming was also very well done.
How fitting, to be frozen to death in a graveyard.
At least your body wouldn't have to be moved too far once it was discovered.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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Thank you for your review. I was not sure how this would be received but enjoyed writing it. At the time it felt like it would be the end of life, even though it was at so young an age. The storm was unusual for the city we lived in and the teacher was fired for sending children out to walk home in the storm.
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You're more than welcome, it was a very good poem, Annie.
Comment from royowen
This story reminds of the story of the little match girl, who died in the cold. Beautifully written story poem, that grabs at the heartstrings, I have two daughters, so I related to this. Articulate expression in an even flowing free verse, with a thumping couplet at the end, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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This story reminds of the story of the little match girl, who died in the cold. Beautifully written story poem, that grabs at the heartstrings, I have two daughters, so I related to this. Articulate expression in an even flowing free verse, with a thumping couplet at the end, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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Thank you for your review. I was not sure how this would be received but enjoyed writing it. At the time it felt like it would be the end of life, even though it was at so young an age. The storm was unusual for the city we lived in and the teacher was fired for sending children out to walk home in the storm.
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That's terrible, I wouldn't want my kids to walk home in that storm, they must have been terrified, well done
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This ABC poem tells a real story of a little girl who pathetically died in a snowstorm on her way to home from school, how fatal, so helplessly left this world silently, nicely depicted.
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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This ABC poem tells a real story of a little girl who pathetically died in a snowstorm on her way to home from school, how fatal, so helplessly left this world silently, nicely depicted.
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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Thank you for your review. I was not sure how this would be received but enjoyed writing it. At the time it felt like it would be the end of life, even though it was at so young an age. The storm was unusual for the city we lived in and the teacher was fired for sending children out to walk home in the storm.
Comment from Sankey
Loved the sad Poem, Sis. A great read and also an excellent choice of the picture to go with it. I am nearing the end of my biography. I split a later chapter on advice from another FS'er. Hope you will have a look still some reward around I think. Look for Little Dog that Wouldn't Let Go.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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Loved the sad Poem, Sis. A great read and also an excellent choice of the picture to go with it. I am nearing the end of my biography. I split a later chapter on advice from another FS'er. Hope you will have a look still some reward around I think. Look for Little Dog that Wouldn't Let Go.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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Thanks for your review. This happened to me as a child and the teacher was reprimanded for sending her class home in the storm. There had never been a snow storm in that city before. I will be extremely saddened to see you go if it comes to that. God bless.