What if,
wondering about a different result.51 total reviews
Comment from samandlancelot
Mary,
How sad. It's sounds like your dad didn't hug and he was all you had. I hope you open your arms wide and receive many hugs in your future.
Patricia
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2020
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Mary,
How sad. It's sounds like your dad didn't hug and he was all you had. I hope you open your arms wide and receive many hugs in your future.
Patricia
Comment Written 21-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your review and kind thoughts.
Comment from Tina Crute
You have a lot in common with me, but more so my little brother. He was 12 when our mom died suddenly. I like the poem for that reason but also because it encourages imagination and remembers your mom. We all have asked, "What if." You have well expressed your train of thought. Your retro picture is touching. Is this a personal photo?
All the best to you,
Tina
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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You have a lot in common with me, but more so my little brother. He was 12 when our mom died suddenly. I like the poem for that reason but also because it encourages imagination and remembers your mom. We all have asked, "What if." You have well expressed your train of thought. Your retro picture is touching. Is this a personal photo?
All the best to you,
Tina
Comment Written 20-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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Not a personal photo.i don't have many of my mom as she was the picture taker. Thank you for your kind comments.
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You are welcome, anytime. I didn't see a credit for the picture, so I asked.
I will keep an eye out for your writing.
Tina
Comment from Wabigoon
Mary--
Really good shot at it here. I think this question is a good one, worth the poem. The repeat of it the way to go. You need a ? mark right? After each instance of the "What if?" And maybe something really "out there" like "I would have had a million hugs?" for the last line?
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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Mary--
Really good shot at it here. I think this question is a good one, worth the poem. The repeat of it the way to go. You need a ? mark right? After each instance of the "What if?" And maybe something really "out there" like "I would have had a million hugs?" for the last line?
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment Written 20-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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Thank for the review and comments I will review
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Ah Mary, such a sweet poem full of wonder. The content in this well written poem is very moving. Your author notes are even more so. All so very sad - to lose your mother in childbirth at age 36 is truly heart-breaking. Warm regards deal Mary - Dorothy xx
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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Ah Mary, such a sweet poem full of wonder. The content in this well written poem is very moving. Your author notes are even more so. All so very sad - to lose your mother in childbirth at age 36 is truly heart-breaking. Warm regards deal Mary - Dorothy xx
Comment Written 20-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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Thank you Dorothy for your review and kind words
Comment from Janet Foor
So sorry for your loss Mary. At any age, it's difficult to loose your Ma but at seven, it is more than heartbreaking.
Thank you for putting your thoughts on paper. For me, writing is cathartic.
Very nicely done.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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So sorry for your loss Mary. At any age, it's difficult to loose your Ma but at seven, it is more than heartbreaking.
Thank you for putting your thoughts on paper. For me, writing is cathartic.
Very nicely done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 19-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your kind words and review
Comment from estory
This is poignant. We feel those lost hugs, that empty space where the sister should have been. The empty shell of your father. That was a powerful image that sums up the feelings of losing a wife and mother. You really feel him collapsing in on himself there, and the air going out of your family. estory
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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This is poignant. We feel those lost hugs, that empty space where the sister should have been. The empty shell of your father. That was a powerful image that sums up the feelings of losing a wife and mother. You really feel him collapsing in on himself there, and the air going out of your family. estory
Comment Written 19-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your kind thoughts and review
Comment from L. Kalere
My mother was in 7th grade when her mother died and she had to quit school to help raise her family. I've often wondered how deeply this must have affected her. So thank you for some insight.
Your loss is almost beyond words, but you've done a wonderful job in telling your story, sharing your pain. Most of all, I hope this has helped you heal a little.
A wonderful story.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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My mother was in 7th grade when her mother died and she had to quit school to help raise her family. I've often wondered how deeply this must have affected her. So thank you for some insight.
Your loss is almost beyond words, but you've done a wonderful job in telling your story, sharing your pain. Most of all, I hope this has helped you heal a little.
A wonderful story.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Thank you for the review and kind comments
Comment from Earl Corp
This should have been a contest entry. You could tell the feeling you put into writing this. Thank you for sharing. Stay safe and stay healthy.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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This should have been a contest entry. You could tell the feeling you put into writing this. Thank you for sharing. Stay safe and stay healthy.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Thank you
Stay safe also
Comment from stephybs
Your words are so well written and show a beautiful emotional journey of loss and what if, in remembrance. I really felt the feeling in your words and the way you have expressed them. Excellent.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Your words are so well written and show a beautiful emotional journey of loss and what if, in remembrance. I really felt the feeling in your words and the way you have expressed them. Excellent.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Tnank you for your kind word
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thank you
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Thank you for the review and kind words.
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Thank you for your review and kind comments.
Comment from Debra Franze
Wow! I'm so sad for your loss. I can see you as a child thinking about your Mom and wondering about those questions you ask in your poem. Very deep thoughts for such a young child. I hope you found peace. God bless you! Beautiful Poem.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Wow! I'm so sad for your loss. I can see you as a child thinking about your Mom and wondering about those questions you ask in your poem. Very deep thoughts for such a young child. I hope you found peace. God bless you! Beautiful Poem.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your kind words and review.