Brian's book of poem's
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Changes"poetry
53 total reviews
Comment from TPAC
I like this smooth soft conveyance, touching thoughts detailed in meaning, depositing an accurate account prevailing seasons. Do have one probable suggestion: thinking Summer heat is. All stated in my viewpoint about this particular read.
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I like this smooth soft conveyance, touching thoughts detailed in meaning, depositing an accurate account prevailing seasons. Do have one probable suggestion: thinking Summer heat is. All stated in my viewpoint about this particular read.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2021
Comment from nomi338
And that is when the miseries will enter. Some folk live for the change of seasons. Here on the West coast, sunny California in particular, we don't see that much change. Many years December 25th might see temps in the 80s. We learn to live with it, roll with the punches. After all it is just weather right?
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And that is when the miseries will enter. Some folk live for the change of seasons. Here on the West coast, sunny California in particular, we don't see that much change. Many years December 25th might see temps in the 80s. We learn to live with it, roll with the punches. After all it is just weather right?
Comment Written 13-Dec-2021
Comment from Janice Canerdy
I'm pushing seventy, yet EVERY year I find myself marveling at the subtle, then quite obvious, seasonal changes in nature. Your poem is concise, making a succinct point.
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I'm pushing seventy, yet EVERY year I find myself marveling at the subtle, then quite obvious, seasonal changes in nature. Your poem is concise, making a succinct point.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2021
Comment from Jasmine Girl
This is a truth telling poem about our seasons which in turn implies our lives. You should join the Haiku and Japanese poetry club where people do write poems like this. You can practice Satori in the end.
Well done.
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This is a truth telling poem about our seasons which in turn implies our lives. You should join the Haiku and Japanese poetry club where people do write poems like this. You can practice Satori in the end.
Well done.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2021
Comment from rspoet
Hello Brian,
The seasons are a popular topic in poetry. To make this more 'poetic', a little description might help, otherwise it is simply prose. You've used 'change' three times, so perhaps some alternate words or phrases would help.
Such as:
Seasons are getting ready to change. The heat of summer will soon give way to the cool breezes of fall, then autumn's moderate winds will shift to the freezing storms of winter.
It is always the poet's choice.
Best wishes.
Robert
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Hello Brian,
The seasons are a popular topic in poetry. To make this more 'poetic', a little description might help, otherwise it is simply prose. You've used 'change' three times, so perhaps some alternate words or phrases would help.
Such as:
Seasons are getting ready to change. The heat of summer will soon give way to the cool breezes of fall, then autumn's moderate winds will shift to the freezing storms of winter.
It is always the poet's choice.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 13-Dec-2021
Comment from Sherry Asbury
Oh, my dear friend, winter is here in Oregon and we are sogging wet. It is good for my garden pots and I have houseplants, but they hate the dark days. Next is spring, of course, and I am patiently (not) waiting for light and sun. This is a very nice bit of poetry and I was hoping I would find something from you.
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Oh, my dear friend, winter is here in Oregon and we are sogging wet. It is good for my garden pots and I have houseplants, but they hate the dark days. Next is spring, of course, and I am patiently (not) waiting for light and sun. This is a very nice bit of poetry and I was hoping I would find something from you.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2021
Comment from amahra
Living in a four-season state, I face this change every year of my life. Perhaps a few similes, some metaphors, and a few choice words to evoke imagery would have really enhanced your writing into a poem.
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Living in a four-season state, I face this change every year of my life. Perhaps a few similes, some metaphors, and a few choice words to evoke imagery would have really enhanced your writing into a poem.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2021
Comment from dragonpoet
This poem tells of the passage of time. It is a little late for Winter is here. We had 11 inches of snow on Friday.
This seems like prose formatted as a poem. So a prose poem.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Happy Holidays
Dp
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This poem tells of the passage of time. It is a little late for Winter is here. We had 11 inches of snow on Friday.
This seems like prose formatted as a poem. So a prose poem.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Happy Holidays
Dp
Comment Written 13-Dec-2021
Comment from Ben Colder
They normally do. I hope this year we have a pleasant fall and a mild winter. I love the fall of the year and the coloring of the trees. You did well,
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They normally do. I hope this year we have a pleasant fall and a mild winter. I love the fall of the year and the coloring of the trees. You did well,
Comment Written 13-Dec-2021
Comment from Earl Corp
I think you are a couple of seasons behind in your order. We are now looking for winter to change to spring. Nice job explaining how it works. Stay safe and stay healthy.
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I think you are a couple of seasons behind in your order. We are now looking for winter to change to spring. Nice job explaining how it works. Stay safe and stay healthy.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2021