No Man's Land
Forever is endless37 total reviews
Comment from robina1978
Had to read it twice before I realised who your main character was: Thomas. Who was a boy when the incident with the bulls happened. He got hurt over and over again in his genitals. Suggest you read it again yourself as it could be me or your writing here and it is a contest entry.
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Had to read it twice before I realised who your main character was: Thomas. Who was a boy when the incident with the bulls happened. He got hurt over and over again in his genitals. Suggest you read it again yourself as it could be me or your writing here and it is a contest entry.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
Comment from BethShelby
Susan, this is a great horror story. It sounds like you are very familiar with stories of the grays. I've read a bit about them myself. It is something to wonder if it possible this could happen to people. Some certainly believe. I thought your story flowed nicely. It should do well in this contest. I didn't see anything that needs changing. You made it sound very graphic and real.
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Susan, this is a great horror story. It sounds like you are very familiar with stories of the grays. I've read a bit about them myself. It is something to wonder if it possible this could happen to people. Some certainly believe. I thought your story flowed nicely. It should do well in this contest. I didn't see anything that needs changing. You made it sound very graphic and real.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
Comment from Gungalo
Man what a story this is, girl. You really played this one ever so right and kept everyone wondering as to why he was a chosen one. Excellent!!
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Man what a story this is, girl. You really played this one ever so right and kept everyone wondering as to why he was a chosen one. Excellent!!
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
Comment from Frank Atwood
The sentences flowed nicely through the story. Yet the story seemed to me to be confusing. One minute the boy is laying on the ground and bull is standing over him, and then he's talking about spacemen coming again and wanting his sister. I can only guess this was all a nightmare and the boy was asleep and this was his dream, but he never woke up. This could also be a story about someone in a depressed mood referring to the grays that always hauntd him. I liked you descriptions of scenarios but to me it was too jumpy and jumped from one scenario to another. If that is what you intended the reader to feel, well you did that job very well.
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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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The sentences flowed nicely through the story. Yet the story seemed to me to be confusing. One minute the boy is laying on the ground and bull is standing over him, and then he's talking about spacemen coming again and wanting his sister. I can only guess this was all a nightmare and the boy was asleep and this was his dream, but he never woke up. This could also be a story about someone in a depressed mood referring to the grays that always hauntd him. I liked you descriptions of scenarios but to me it was too jumpy and jumped from one scenario to another. If that is what you intended the reader to feel, well you did that job very well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Hi Frank...I will read this again and see if I can see it from your perspective! I am so sorry if it disappointed you, but will certainly look again. Thank you for the help! I do appreciate that! Susan
Comment from adewpearl
Your opening sucks me into the horror
Excellent description of setting
What an intriguing plot
Intense depiction of strong emotion
You get inside this character's dark, worried thoughts extremely well
A powerful closing :-) Brooke
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Your opening sucks me into the horror
Excellent description of setting
What an intriguing plot
Intense depiction of strong emotion
You get inside this character's dark, worried thoughts extremely well
A powerful closing :-) Brooke
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
Comment from Chris Tee
This is an absolutely excellent story that you have written here for us old sport. Well done indeed with this splendid work here and good luck in the contest
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This is an absolutely excellent story that you have written here for us old sport. Well done indeed with this splendid work here and good luck in the contest
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
Comment from c_lucas
You will get plenty of feedback from the believers, even from the ones who have gone over the edge. This is very well written with a interesting flow of words.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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You will get plenty of feedback from the believers, even from the ones who have gone over the edge. This is very well written with a interesting flow of words.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012