All in a Day's Work
Bob meets Sheila for the first time since childhood.42 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
Dear Ric, so good to read a post from you. I got a charge out of the aside of no devastating two star review because of a mistake in King's book. HA.
A very nicely written story and with just enough of a twist to be delightful albeit a big gory with the watermelon sucking sounds of the knife.
Great job as per your always.
Gloria
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Dear Ric, so good to read a post from you. I got a charge out of the aside of no devastating two star review because of a mistake in King's book. HA.
A very nicely written story and with just enough of a twist to be delightful albeit a big gory with the watermelon sucking sounds of the knife.
Great job as per your always.
Gloria
Comment Written 27-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! It's always so nice for you to take time to read my humble beginnings. And of course, your kind words and extra-special six-star review go along way toward making my day wonderful. I'm wishing you bathtubs full of the same joy and happiness that you always dole out to encourage me. ((HUG)) :-)
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
An excellent write but I am confused as to why she stabbed him. I assume she was hired to kill him for maybe something he knew?
Otherwise it was an excellent piece with no mistakes I could find
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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An excellent write but I am confused as to why she stabbed him. I assume she was hired to kill him for maybe something he knew?
Otherwise it was an excellent piece with no mistakes I could find
Comment Written 27-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much, Barb, for taking time to read my story. Yes, I made it a point to explain that he had a new job that was supposed to be top secret, trying to place them in a world of espionage and assassination. So the girl he had always been infatuated with turns out to be on the other side. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
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I reread it and caught that part.
Comment from MTF1955
I wasn't expecting that. Now you have me wondering exactly did he do to her? Great job because I never saw it coming. Mary
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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I wasn't expecting that. Now you have me wondering exactly did he do to her? Great job because I never saw it coming. Mary
Comment Written 27-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much, Mary, for taking time to read my story. I don't know that he did anything to her, but it's evident they live in a world of espionage and assassination. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Ric, you did an excellent job of concealing the reason that she was there to meet Bob at Starbucks. He was unawares that your unnamed villainess was there to eventually there to kill him. Ric, this has a great plot and also great dialogue. Very well written and it has been a pleasure to read and review,,,,,,,Jim
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Ric, you did an excellent job of concealing the reason that she was there to meet Bob at Starbucks. He was unawares that your unnamed villainess was there to eventually there to kill him. Ric, this has a great plot and also great dialogue. Very well written and it has been a pleasure to read and review,,,,,,,Jim
Comment Written 27-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much, Jim, my friend, for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from LIJ Red
With a very little editing for length, this would have been excellent for the
potlatch challenge "murder flash fiction" noncontest. A 500 word story with a twist. fine work.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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With a very little editing for length, this would have been excellent for the
potlatch challenge "murder flash fiction" noncontest. A 500 word story with a twist. fine work.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much, LIJ Red, for taking time to read my story. Your kind words, comments, and generous review are greatly appreciated. Saturdays and Sundays have been too busy for me, with basketball and football practices overlapping, to give a stab at either of the challenges. A very sweet lady just informed me this morning that it had been a long time since I posted. So, I took a half an hour and wrote this little ditty. I appreciate You! :-)
Comment from patcelaw
Ric, this was an attention getting write. Your twist at the end came as quite a surprise. The story was woven together wonderfully. Patricia
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Ric, this was an attention getting write. Your twist at the end came as quite a surprise. The story was woven together wonderfully. Patricia
Comment Written 27-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Patricia, my dear, sweet friend, thank you so much for taking time to read my story. There are few things more special than for a friend to read something that I know isn't on their preference list and offer such wonderful comments. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. God Bless, sweet lady! :-)
Comment from Ulla
Hi Ric, it is good to see you back with a very good story. Wow, there certainly was a twist to the tale. So she murdered him. I wonder why. Did they think he worked in a position that jeopardised them, but made a mistake. Ach well, we will never know. Very good story which I enjoyed to read. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Hi Ric, it is good to see you back with a very good story. Wow, there certainly was a twist to the tale. So she murdered him. I wonder why. Did they think he worked in a position that jeopardised them, but made a mistake. Ach well, we will never know. Very good story which I enjoyed to read. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 27-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much, Ulla, for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. I just finished your entry for the challenge and wow, was I ever surprised that story came from you. Your nice and sweet turned vengeful violence. Too bad for the brother. :-)
Comment from lfemine
I assume this is a first chapter? If so, good beginning. Well written with some pleasant wit. I think you need a quote after - He led the way. Interesting mystery that they are also leaving Starbucks.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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I assume this is a first chapter? If so, good beginning. Well written with some pleasant wit. I think you need a quote after - He led the way. Interesting mystery that they are also leaving Starbucks.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much for taking time to read my story. Your kind words, suggestions, and generous review are greatly appreciated. As for the quote after - He led the way. It is left out because what she is saying doesn't stop there, and is carried on to the next paragraph, actually, the next four. Then, that is where I closed what she was saying. I confuse many by doing this, but it is proper, and just a way to break up long sections of dialog. Thanks, again. :-)
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Oh I see ,yes, I didn't notice that. Ok, it works :)
Comment from F. Wehr3
This was a really entertaining story. I loved your asides, delving into your characters mind. Even the fanstory didn't break me out of the story. I found a couple of things for your consideration.
Stephen King's new Bazaar of Bad Dreams,--The title of a book needs quotation marks around it.
"Do you mind if I sit down?" She asked.--Speech tag. It might be counter-intuitive, but you need a lower case she. You have a couple of these in the story.
"but, it isn't like it's any big secret or anything."-- I would advise against using a comma after your conjunction (but). If you look at the first sentence, you'll notice you would have used a comma before, but you broke the sentence apart.
"You mean, Right Now?" --right
Great story! I hope this is helpful to you.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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This was a really entertaining story. I loved your asides, delving into your characters mind. Even the fanstory didn't break me out of the story. I found a couple of things for your consideration.
Stephen King's new Bazaar of Bad Dreams,--The title of a book needs quotation marks around it.
"Do you mind if I sit down?" She asked.--Speech tag. It might be counter-intuitive, but you need a lower case she. You have a couple of these in the story.
"but, it isn't like it's any big secret or anything."-- I would advise against using a comma after your conjunction (but). If you look at the first sentence, you'll notice you would have used a comma before, but you broke the sentence apart.
"You mean, Right Now?" --right
Great story! I hope this is helpful to you.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 27-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much, Russell, for taking time to read my story, and for always being willing to point out my endless mistakes. I have a tendency to write fast, and read faster, buzzing right on through any spag. This took twenty minutes to write, and without your suggestions, I might never have noticed the blunders. Your kind words, suggestions, and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
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You're quite welcome. I wrote a story this morning in two hours, but twenty minutes that is amazing. You did a really great job with this story. Write on!
Comment from country ranch writer
WONDER WHAT HIS JOB WAS THAT WAS SUCH A MYSTRY THEY HAD TO OFF THIS GUY. AND FROM AN OLD FRIEND YET THAT WAS IN IT FOR THE MONEY
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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WONDER WHAT HIS JOB WAS THAT WAS SUCH A MYSTRY THEY HAD TO OFF THIS GUY. AND FROM AN OLD FRIEND YET THAT WAS IN IT FOR THE MONEY
Comment Written 27-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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LOL! Damned if I know. Thank you so much for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
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he he you wrote it
