Pinnacle of Insight
Just the level of introversion that seeps out forming words62 total reviews
Comment from godlucifer
people think of people as human being. human doing is our behavior but can we benefit as human being. people think of human behavior as a human doing and also as a human being. your poem was well thought of and well plan. thanks for the read. "your so vein" means mood or humor.
your so vein
godlucifer
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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people think of people as human being. human doing is our behavior but can we benefit as human being. people think of human behavior as a human doing and also as a human being. your poem was well thought of and well plan. thanks for the read. "your so vein" means mood or humor.
your so vein
godlucifer
Comment Written 21-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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My sincerest thank you for investing the time to read and comment on my work.
Comment from rama devi
LOVE THE TITLE...it drew me to read the work. I love the AHA concept in the closing line a lot. This has strong emotional overtones and intensity in the voicing. Very original approach to an acrostic. The flow would be improved by more accurate punctuation. For example, there should not be a comma after 'partly' or after 'nor'--and I also suggest putting the ! at the end of the sentence (after persona instead of never).
With suggestions:
Partly because I am not very fond of
Incredibly difficult people, I reason that
Never do I have to engage that persona!
Nor does it mean that I have to remain
Absolute about my prior feelings in relationships.
Crawling up a slippery slope,
Limited by the concept of
Enjoyment of a human doing rather than a human being!
The gerund of crawling in the last sentence makes the sentence seem incomplete. I do understand that the letter C has to start that line, so using I CRAWL would not work. But the way it is now sounds 'forced to fit the form' to my ear.
Further, slippery slope is a bit cliche, though it's a great phrase (cliche for a good reason) and has fine alliteration. I personally aim to avoid cliches in my own writing, so I would try to find an alternative to those words...but it is fine to keep them too (of course) as they fit so well.
This has great potential but could use tweaking and fine tuning. I really like the originality and the message.
Fine imagery too.
Do let me know if you revise...as I'd be happy to re-review.
Warmly, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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LOVE THE TITLE...it drew me to read the work. I love the AHA concept in the closing line a lot. This has strong emotional overtones and intensity in the voicing. Very original approach to an acrostic. The flow would be improved by more accurate punctuation. For example, there should not be a comma after 'partly' or after 'nor'--and I also suggest putting the ! at the end of the sentence (after persona instead of never).
With suggestions:
Partly because I am not very fond of
Incredibly difficult people, I reason that
Never do I have to engage that persona!
Nor does it mean that I have to remain
Absolute about my prior feelings in relationships.
Crawling up a slippery slope,
Limited by the concept of
Enjoyment of a human doing rather than a human being!
The gerund of crawling in the last sentence makes the sentence seem incomplete. I do understand that the letter C has to start that line, so using I CRAWL would not work. But the way it is now sounds 'forced to fit the form' to my ear.
Further, slippery slope is a bit cliche, though it's a great phrase (cliche for a good reason) and has fine alliteration. I personally aim to avoid cliches in my own writing, so I would try to find an alternative to those words...but it is fine to keep them too (of course) as they fit so well.
This has great potential but could use tweaking and fine tuning. I really like the originality and the message.
Fine imagery too.
Do let me know if you revise...as I'd be happy to re-review.
Warmly, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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I appreciate your critical input and as a neophyte to publishing my work I can only welcome such a serious reading, such as yours, and grow from the experience.
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Warm welcome to Fanstory, and thank you for your gracious response! :) Happy to help (I actually do this professionally)
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Hmmmm. This one really made me think...which, of course, makes it a WONDERFUL creation. If we can read something, slough it off, and say, "Next!", that is not much of a testament to someone's work.
I like your points that (a) you always have a choice to avoid someone less-than-desirable and (b) it's not impossible that at some future time, you might try to reconnect and see if s/he remains that same level of unappealing. The human doing versus human being point was brilliant. GREAT acrostic, this one. You have fascinating brains! xo
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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Hmmmm. This one really made me think...which, of course, makes it a WONDERFUL creation. If we can read something, slough it off, and say, "Next!", that is not much of a testament to someone's work.
I like your points that (a) you always have a choice to avoid someone less-than-desirable and (b) it's not impossible that at some future time, you might try to reconnect and see if s/he remains that same level of unappealing. The human doing versus human being point was brilliant. GREAT acrostic, this one. You have fascinating brains! xo
Comment Written 21-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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My deepest appreciation is being extended for you taking the time read and comment on my work. Best regards....
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Now, really, JLR. That's like thanking me for eating ice cream!!! I enjoyed every minute of it! xo
Comment from LisaMay
I do like your finishing line here with the play between a human doing and a human being. Your poem (although it reads more like prose to me) is thought-provoking to ponder upon shifting concepts of relationship.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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I do like your finishing line here with the play between a human doing and a human being. Your poem (although it reads more like prose to me) is thought-provoking to ponder upon shifting concepts of relationship.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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I thank you for your taking time to read and comment on my work.
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I thank you for your taking time to read and comment on my work.
Comment from barkingdog
Very profound. Fine acrostic.
Some people make themselves difficult. I think it's a defense.
You're right it's much easier to just be.
Good luck in this contest.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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Very profound. Fine acrostic.
Some people make themselves difficult. I think it's a defense.
You're right it's much easier to just be.
Good luck in this contest.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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My thanks to you! I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on my work.
Comment from James W. Reynolds
This is a fine acrostic poem. The rhythm and flow are solid, which is difficult to do with an acrostic. The message is coherent and logical, and there is no defensiveness or self-pity.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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This is a fine acrostic poem. The rhythm and flow are solid, which is difficult to do with an acrostic. The message is coherent and logical, and there is no defensiveness or self-pity.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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My thanks to you! I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on my work.
Comment from Heather Knight
This is a very well written and deep acrostic poem. What you say is food for thought.
I also like the artwork you've chosen.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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This is a very well written and deep acrostic poem. What you say is food for thought.
I also like the artwork you've chosen.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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My thanks to you! I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on my work.
Comment from way2gokevs
Just one more pinnacle to climb and that is the one where there is no return. Lovely thoughtful Acrostic poem, well thought out, thanks for the read. Have a nice day, cheers, Kev.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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Just one more pinnacle to climb and that is the one where there is no return. Lovely thoughtful Acrostic poem, well thought out, thanks for the read. Have a nice day, cheers, Kev.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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My thanks to you! I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on my work.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Pinnacle of Insight", is an extremely well-written and deftly descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. To me, this is a six, but unfortunately I only have fives left. I look forward to reading your next post.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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"Pinnacle of Insight", is an extremely well-written and deftly descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. To me, this is a six, but unfortunately I only have fives left. I look forward to reading your next post.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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My thanks to you! I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on my work.
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JLR,
You're more than welcome!
Take care, God bless and have a wonderful weekend,
the Duchess :)))
Comment from Ms. Snyder
Hi JLR,
I guess I am a bit confused - Pinnacle definition: the most successful point, the culmination (a high, pointed piece of rock) which you have pictured here. Yet the words in your poem have to do entirely of a different concept - you are describing behavior? I am giving you a five because I understand what you are trying to convey and you did provide an acrostic to the required contest entry - which is using the beginning letter to each of the sentences corresponding to your overall word. However, your sentences don't really relate to the word. But I do agree with your related behavior observational writing. Cheers, Fonda
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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Hi JLR,
I guess I am a bit confused - Pinnacle definition: the most successful point, the culmination (a high, pointed piece of rock) which you have pictured here. Yet the words in your poem have to do entirely of a different concept - you are describing behavior? I am giving you a five because I understand what you are trying to convey and you did provide an acrostic to the required contest entry - which is using the beginning letter to each of the sentences corresponding to your overall word. However, your sentences don't really relate to the word. But I do agree with your related behavior observational writing. Cheers, Fonda
Comment Written 21-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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My thanks to you! I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on my work.
