Expect the Unexpected
Unexpected changes.50 total reviews
Comment from Terry Broxson
Well, the best-laid plans of mice and men so often just don't work out. What the hell was Rob thinking anyway? Oh, I see what you mean...he was distracted by the potential mess of the sandwich, so to speak. Nevertheless, Rob did find a family of vipers. A fun read. Excellent work. Terry.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Well, the best-laid plans of mice and men so often just don't work out. What the hell was Rob thinking anyway? Oh, I see what you mean...he was distracted by the potential mess of the sandwich, so to speak. Nevertheless, Rob did find a family of vipers. A fun read. Excellent work. Terry.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Thanks so much, Terry, for you generous review, kind words, and for taking time out to read my foolishness. I'm really just trying to play around with my writing style a little bit. I'm glad you liked it. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from Jim Wile
I enjoyed this Spy vs. Spy tale of international intrigue, and I liked the style of writing that seemed appropriate for this story. Who needs all those subjects and verbs anyway?
You built the suspense nicely as the wolfish Olivia enchants the unsuspecting Rob, right down to the end when he thought the culprit was his friend Bill. Those evil, beguiling sisters both had him fooled, poor guy.
Well-written and well-done.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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I enjoyed this Spy vs. Spy tale of international intrigue, and I liked the style of writing that seemed appropriate for this story. Who needs all those subjects and verbs anyway?
You built the suspense nicely as the wolfish Olivia enchants the unsuspecting Rob, right down to the end when he thought the culprit was his friend Bill. Those evil, beguiling sisters both had him fooled, poor guy.
Well-written and well-done.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much, Jim, for your generous review and kind words. And most of all for taking time out to read my foolishness. LOL. I glad you liked it and I could entertain you for a bit. Much appreciated!
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Foolishness? My favorite kind of work and something I strive for in my poetry.
Comment from nomi338
Jab snaps back the head, counter punch alters the course of the next punch. Body blow gains the opponent's attention, but before an effective next blow, from out of nowhere comes the knockout punch. You are down and being counted out. The fight is over, you lose. Such is the spy, counter spy game. There is always a winner, likewise, there is also, always a loser.
Killer story my friend. I enjoyed it very much.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Jab snaps back the head, counter punch alters the course of the next punch. Body blow gains the opponent's attention, but before an effective next blow, from out of nowhere comes the knockout punch. You are down and being counted out. The fight is over, you lose. Such is the spy, counter spy game. There is always a winner, likewise, there is also, always a loser.
Killer story my friend. I enjoyed it very much.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much, Nomi, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. And your fight scene sounds like one that I should have added somewhere. LOL, Thanks for the idea that I'll put in my memory bank for later. I'm so glad you liked it. I appreciate YOU!
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That was just the way I saw the byplay between the characters. I hope I didn't misread the situation.
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Not at all. You're one of those spot on gentlemen who never misses a beat! :-)
Comment from Annmuma
Wow. What a story. I'm doing the six for several reasons -- one of which is that I believe you accomplished your goals in this piece.
You caught my attention immediately and did not let go until the very end. Indeed -- maybe you never let go. Very creative begining and ending with plenty of meat in the middle. I love the coffee and hot chocolate. Not as sure about the '42 year old party girl'. Don't run into too many 42 year old 'girls'. Maybe a femme fatale or something.
Regardless, an excellent peice well done, well worth reading and I believe you succeeded in the suspense and detail goals you had for the piece. I did not see anything I considered a run-on sentence, but then I have a tendency to 'run on' myself!
One thought: 'and a jus' --I think should be 'au jus'. Not positive. Check it out. Great job ann
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Wow. What a story. I'm doing the six for several reasons -- one of which is that I believe you accomplished your goals in this piece.
You caught my attention immediately and did not let go until the very end. Indeed -- maybe you never let go. Very creative begining and ending with plenty of meat in the middle. I love the coffee and hot chocolate. Not as sure about the '42 year old party girl'. Don't run into too many 42 year old 'girls'. Maybe a femme fatale or something.
Regardless, an excellent peice well done, well worth reading and I believe you succeeded in the suspense and detail goals you had for the piece. I did not see anything I considered a run-on sentence, but then I have a tendency to 'run on' myself!
One thought: 'and a jus' --I think should be 'au jus'. Not positive. Check it out. Great job ann
Comment Written 29-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much, Ann, for your extra special six-star review, kind words, and suggestions. I thought long and hard about the "party girl" usage, but in the end decided that I've heard people call women "party girls" of all ages. But maybe I'll tweak that a bit. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Plus you're right on the au jus, I just left out a letter. Which isn't anything odd for me. LOL. Thanks again, my dear. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Wow, Ric. This was sure suspenseful! And I loved the way your run-on sentences made the story go through the contortions of how Rob was trying to get to Olivia and had the worst time at getting across to her that he liked her and then I didn't expect Rob to die at the end!
What a twist!
Jesse
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Wow, Ric. This was sure suspenseful! And I loved the way your run-on sentences made the story go through the contortions of how Rob was trying to get to Olivia and had the worst time at getting across to her that he liked her and then I didn't expect Rob to die at the end!
What a twist!
Jesse
Comment Written 29-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much, Jesse James, for you generous review and kind words. I don't like to have character die off, so I always leave a slight opening to where I could bring them back. Like someone jumping into action at the last second and saving him. I left him in a dead stare, but CPR at that moment could save him. I got that from the football player that died on the football field right in front of me a few weeks ago in Cincinnati, and they brought him back to life and he is doing fine. He played for the Buffalo Bills. Thanks for taking time out to read. Much appreciated!
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Good morning, Ric! I did not know you were leaving a slight opening for him to be saved and come back to life what a great way to bring him back to life!
Jesse
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Hope all is going well for you, Jesse! :-)
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Yes, thank you, yes it is. I have a wonderful new caregiver named Cindy and she does everything I need and more besides. I am so grateful for her!
Hope everything is good with you!
Jesse
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Detailed, suspenseful, run-on sentences suit you - this was a pleasure to read.
However, I'm not exactly sure what happened to Marni. She had an untimely death, but I'm not sure what the cause of her death was.
Olivia was pretty sharp, and one had to know that she was paying as much attention to him as he was to her. And that she'd avenge her sister's death.
You do a wonderful job of describing the characters - physically and what's going on in their heads and hearts.
Poor Rob, it doesn't pay to do drugs, lol!
Olivia winks at him, slides on her sunglasses, and slips into the holiday crowd. Perfect.
Great story, Ric. Glad to see you at the keyboard again.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Detailed, suspenseful, run-on sentences suit you - this was a pleasure to read.
However, I'm not exactly sure what happened to Marni. She had an untimely death, but I'm not sure what the cause of her death was.
Olivia was pretty sharp, and one had to know that she was paying as much attention to him as he was to her. And that she'd avenge her sister's death.
You do a wonderful job of describing the characters - physically and what's going on in their heads and hearts.
Poor Rob, it doesn't pay to do drugs, lol!
Olivia winks at him, slides on her sunglasses, and slips into the holiday crowd. Perfect.
Great story, Ric. Glad to see you at the keyboard again.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much, Pam, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. Marni was whipped up into a tornado from out of nowhere and was tuck, impaled on a fence. Some will find this unbelievable, but for someone who's been in two, they come up from out of nowhere in an instant, without time to react. It's always nice when those I enjoy reading like my foolishness. I appreciate YOU!
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LOL, okay I thought you were describing a tornado, but then I thought, "nah, that's not possible." Anyway, love the story.
P
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I sent you something that doesn't show up in the replies for some reason. I changed calling Olivia a party girl because someone said the name didn't fit for a 42-year-old. So, I changed her to a "pleasure-seeking socialite." :-)
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Oh, dear, I don't agree with that. I thought you were trying to contrast an intelligent, well-educated professional woman who transforms into an entirely different animal after hours - a party animal.
Party girls exist at every age:-)
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It appears you understand my thoughts better than most. I totally agree and the contrast between educated aristocrat and party girl was my intention. And party girls do exist at every age. :-)
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How about I change it to:
From the detailed prospectus outlining every aspect of her life, she seemed the perfect All-American aristocrat. Though after dark, she?d morph into an unexpected pleasure-seeking socialite turned party girl who loved the night life. ?
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Don't try to please everyone. You'll please no one. It has to come from you.
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Oh, you know me by now. I don't really try to please anyone but me . . . well, not often anyway. LOL. But if I can make it easier for some to understand my wayward thoughts, I'm not against trying. Have a wonderful Sunday!
Comment from BethShelby
Your switch in writing style has left me a bit dazed. I get that both Marni and Olivia are Russian agents and that Rob, also a secret agent is apparently a target, first of Marni. He seems to be taken by surprise by her, but then I'm not sure what happens when she presses the gun against his temple while the two of the are having a picnic in the park. Then it seems an unlikely tornado comes roaring out of nowhere and saves his life but kills Marni. Then Olivia becomes his target, but she apparently has him in her sites as well. She is able to take him by surprise and inject him with a poison that kills him almost instantly and walk away undetected. I feel I'm missing something with the way his life is spared earlier. Somehow a sudden tornado in New York doesn't feel right.
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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Your switch in writing style has left me a bit dazed. I get that both Marni and Olivia are Russian agents and that Rob, also a secret agent is apparently a target, first of Marni. He seems to be taken by surprise by her, but then I'm not sure what happens when she presses the gun against his temple while the two of the are having a picnic in the park. Then it seems an unlikely tornado comes roaring out of nowhere and saves his life but kills Marni. Then Olivia becomes his target, but she apparently has him in her sites as well. She is able to take him by surprise and inject him with a poison that kills him almost instantly and walk away undetected. I feel I'm missing something with the way his life is spared earlier. Somehow a sudden tornado in New York doesn't feel right.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much, Beth, for your generous review and comments. Yes, you have it all right down to the finest details. I'm sure the tornado part won't ring true with everyone, but I can tell you as someone who has been caught up in two, things happen faster than you can imagine, from out of nowhere, which is where I came up with this to snatch Marni away before she could pull the pistol's trigger. LOL. Yes, I'm a little nuts sometimes. Tornado's don't strike often in NYC, but they do strike, like back in Brooklyn, 2007. The largest tornado in New York history.
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LOL, I've been in two tornados myself, but this one appearing at the right moment sounds as though nature was taking a side which is highly unlikely. Still the theme of your story was the unexpected so I guess that works.
Comment from Shirley McLain
That was one wicked woman. Your story was full of excitement, action, and I wanted to keep reading. This would make a great book. I would like to read more. Great job, and I hope your Sunday is great. Shirley
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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That was one wicked woman. Your story was full of excitement, action, and I wanted to keep reading. This would make a great book. I would like to read more. Great job, and I hope your Sunday is great. Shirley
Comment Written 29-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much, Shirley, my dear, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. I don't know where this came from, but there's nothing that makes me happier than for such a talented writer to take time out to read, review, and like my foolishness. I appreciate YOU!
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You're welcome, Ric, but I have to tell you I don't feel that talented. Blessings my friend.
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Well, you certainly are an outstanding writer that I enjoy and learn from all the time! :-)
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Holy Smokes. I feel as if I just hopped off a Twirl-A-Whirl. Which way is up? Down? My head is spinning around. I drop to the ground asking, what happened? There is a lot to take in with this piece.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Holy Smokes. I feel as if I just hopped off a Twirl-A-Whirl. Which way is up? Down? My head is spinning around. I drop to the ground asking, what happened? There is a lot to take in with this piece.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much, Tom, for your generous review and kind words. I don't even know where this one came from. I was just trying to get away from my short and choppy style a little. Much appreciated!
Comment from Sally Law
Good heavens! This one took mmmmyyyyy breath away. Stunning, riveting, jolting... and left me wanting satisfaction and justice for Rob's murder! Well chosen descriptions set the scene. Bravo for this one page thriller!
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Good heavens! This one took mmmmyyyyy breath away. Stunning, riveting, jolting... and left me wanting satisfaction and justice for Rob's murder! Well chosen descriptions set the scene. Bravo for this one page thriller!
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment Written 29-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much, Sally, for taking time out to read and your extra special six-star review. But most of all, for your encouragement from such a talented writer who I always enjoy reading, learning from, and getting your comments. I appreciate YOU!
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My pleasure entirely. I have been absent from you too long. I promise to do better this year. Blessings,
Sal XOs
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Believe me, I understand. There is only so much time in the day for all of us, and then something always comes up to get us off track. Blessing back at you, my dear!