Renewal
Home-Made Carpe Diem89 total reviews
Comment from TKField
I really enjoyed this rather interesting poem. A real celebration of the possibilities of life. Very positive and uplifting. I liked it.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2008
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I really enjoyed this rather interesting poem. A real celebration of the possibilities of life. Very positive and uplifting. I liked it.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2008
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Thank you, T.K. Fielfs for your very uplifting review.
Comment from rama devi
Wonderfully refreshing!
Well written with good flow, honest and unique voicing, great ideas!
Interesting work.
Loved this:
To connect
to the ins and outs
of my breath.
I don't need to have a reason:
It's not my birthday,
no lucky lotto,
nothing terminal.
And this:
Let stillness
court my hands.
Most important,
he admonishes:
No self-loathing.
No self-deprecation
While the closing is nice, I think the last three lines are superfluous, because it is already conveyed within the lines. I would delete these;
And for the healing
gift of renewal,
I am greatly grateful.
And end on the smile.
Warm Regards,
rama devi
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2008
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Wonderfully refreshing!
Well written with good flow, honest and unique voicing, great ideas!
Interesting work.
Loved this:
To connect
to the ins and outs
of my breath.
I don't need to have a reason:
It's not my birthday,
no lucky lotto,
nothing terminal.
And this:
Let stillness
court my hands.
Most important,
he admonishes:
No self-loathing.
No self-deprecation
While the closing is nice, I think the last three lines are superfluous, because it is already conveyed within the lines. I would delete these;
And for the healing
gift of renewal,
I am greatly grateful.
And end on the smile.
Warm Regards,
rama devi
Comment Written 14-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2008
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Thank you for the review, dear rama devi. I admire your work. Your advise is very well taken.
Comment from skye
I feel renewed just thinking about doing the things listed, especially the Mary and Martha one.. because we all need to contemplate food s.. for the soul.
Your words are lovely, well written, and soothing.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2008
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I feel renewed just thinking about doing the things listed, especially the Mary and Martha one.. because we all need to contemplate food s.. for the soul.
Your words are lovely, well written, and soothing.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2008
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Thank you for the touching review, dear fellow writer skye.
Comment from Scribbelini
Indeed inspiring. this work is well done and is told in a tight concise manner. The message like the poem gives this reader a nice sense of tranquility.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2008
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Indeed inspiring. this work is well done and is told in a tight concise manner. The message like the poem gives this reader a nice sense of tranquility.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2008
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Thank you Scribbelini for connecting to the feeling of tranquility that I wanted to achieve.
Comment from JoeKarbo
Very nice application of the chance to start over and look ahead with a clean slate. I think the form is good and see no spags.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2008
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Very nice application of the chance to start over and look ahead with a clean slate. I think the form is good and see no spags.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2008
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Thank you JoeKarbo for the delightful review.
Comment from Donovan
Renewal is a wonderful happening. I use to like the quarter system in school, because I would get a new notebook, clean paper and could start afresh. It would last for about two week, but what glorious two weeks is was. I should have studied more.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2008
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Renewal is a wonderful happening. I use to like the quarter system in school, because I would get a new notebook, clean paper and could start afresh. It would last for about two week, but what glorious two weeks is was. I should have studied more.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2008
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That's very insightful, a new notebook for clean paper. I like to see sparking floors and everything neat and orderly. Maybe is OCD, that's the basis of this poem.
Comment from jshep
Fantastic analogy here and all I could think of through the whole piece was this is the first step in learning how to connect with the inner self and free one of life's stresses. Excellent poem. Love the presentation, the flow, the structure, and most of all the gentle power of your words. Very original and extremely well done. Joyce
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2008
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Fantastic analogy here and all I could think of through the whole piece was this is the first step in learning how to connect with the inner self and free one of life's stresses. Excellent poem. Love the presentation, the flow, the structure, and most of all the gentle power of your words. Very original and extremely well done. Joyce
Comment Written 13-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2008
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Thank you Joyce for the great review, most lovable of you. I am flying up there.
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I have a spare bedroom and great meals. J
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Thank you!
I have a spare room but peanut butter and jelly meals. A nearby park and lots of stories.
My door is open.
Comment from Signaler
Hello amanda, Poetry at its best tells a succint story, often hidden among mystifying phrases. Your poem pulled me from the nature scene it hinted at and the emotional all too human scene. I swayed with the trees and relaxed with my sister. So very well done.
Keep Your Angel On Your Shoulder,
As Always, Signaler
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2008
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Hello amanda, Poetry at its best tells a succint story, often hidden among mystifying phrases. Your poem pulled me from the nature scene it hinted at and the emotional all too human scene. I swayed with the trees and relaxed with my sister. So very well done.
Keep Your Angel On Your Shoulder,
As Always, Signaler
Comment Written 13-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2008
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I just like the "Keep Your Angel On Your Shoulder," so lovely of you. Thanks for the review.
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Awe Amanda, As a little girl, my mother and grandmother told me I had a guardian angel with me all the time. Later in life, I was visiting a lady and her husband, from out of town, in one of our hospitals. They didn't know anyone and her husband was in a deep coman. I spent about 3 hours with her and when I had to leave, she called me her angel. I wondered why I'd put my angel in the back of my mind for so long and then wondered, how many others might like to be reminded of theirs. So I write it from love to all mankind....and womankind.
So Remember Your Angel is Always With You,
Always, Signaler (Linda)
Comment from AWorkInProgress
very well written indeed. Nothing better than a brisk new day to start over again. Right?
We all have bad days so it's always good to know there is a next one.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2008
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very well written indeed. Nothing better than a brisk new day to start over again. Right?
We all have bad days so it's always good to know there is a next one.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2008
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Thank you for the great review, dear AWorkinProgress.
Comment from writerjen
Great poem. Nice stanzas..great message. Insightful and thought provoking. Flowed well, no spag that I see. well done. Keep up the writing.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2008
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Great poem. Nice stanzas..great message. Insightful and thought provoking. Flowed well, no spag that I see. well done. Keep up the writing.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2008
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Thank you for the great review, dear fellow writer writerjen.
