Short Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Innocently Indecent"A book of a mixture of stories
62 total reviews
Comment from Thesis
Nicely done, Carol. That was a fun read. Poor Becky, she was only trying to get some sleep.
I liked your humorous tone when the buyer said: "I was wondering if everything comes with the house," Lol. - John
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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Nicely done, Carol. That was a fun read. Poor Becky, she was only trying to get some sleep.
I liked your humorous tone when the buyer said: "I was wondering if everything comes with the house," Lol. - John
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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John
Not quite as steamy as some of yours but fun anyhow. Thanks for the generous comments. Smiles, Carol
Comment from dmjones
I loved this story. You choose a good theme to work with and then wrote an excellent story. It was very amusing at the end. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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I loved this story. You choose a good theme to work with and then wrote an excellent story. It was very amusing at the end. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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Donna
Sparks would fly if that relationship grows...I can hear them arguing about closing costs.HAHA Thanks for the generous comments. CArol
Comment from raw form
I thought this was a cool story I didn't know exactly where it was going but I liked the way it turned out, I'd buy the house to if a hot naked woman came with it LOL
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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I thought this was a cool story I didn't know exactly where it was going but I liked the way it turned out, I'd buy the house to if a hot naked woman came with it LOL
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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raw form
I bet she'd have potential buyers lining up at the door, huh? Thanks for the generous review...Smiles, CArol
Comment from fionageorge
Hi Carol, how do you constantly come up with these fantastic story lines? Loved the read, and yes, I guess any man would like 'that' to come with the house.
Good luck in the contest
Warmest Regards
Marijke
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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Hi Carol, how do you constantly come up with these fantastic story lines? Loved the read, and yes, I guess any man would like 'that' to come with the house.
Good luck in the contest
Warmest Regards
Marijke
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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Marijke
Prospective buyers would be lining up outside the door if that was part of the bargain I think...Thanks for the kind review, Smiles, Carol
Comment from Belinda
You certainly grasp the essence of "innocently undecent", Carol, maybe beyond the expectation of the contest organizer. Two opposing words get together in this exhausted RN (registered nurse?). No wonder the bidder asks for a 'complete set'...:)
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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You certainly grasp the essence of "innocently undecent", Carol, maybe beyond the expectation of the contest organizer. Two opposing words get together in this exhausted RN (registered nurse?). No wonder the bidder asks for a 'complete set'...:)
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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Belinda
Can you imagine the prospective buyers lining up outside? She certainly would have her choice of tenants, huh? Smiles, Carol
Comment from L.lora
Yes, and yes again... definitely
a good story and love that ending.
Now there is a man with a good
sense of humor and a keen wit.
Excellently written, you've gotten
very good with these. Great descriptions
and excellent dialogue. no nits or
spags, good luck with the contest. Lora
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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Yes, and yes again... definitely
a good story and love that ending.
Now there is a man with a good
sense of humor and a keen wit.
Excellently written, you've gotten
very good with these. Great descriptions
and excellent dialogue. no nits or
spags, good luck with the contest. Lora
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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Lora
Thanks for the great review. Can you imagine how many potential buyers she'd have if they knew she was inside? Smiles, Carol
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I just think the lines you gave him were so neet... my kind of guy...LOL..
Comment from misscookie
I think tis is cute story and sometimes things like that do happenT like the movement of the story
It was light with a sense of humor
this is s good write.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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I think tis is cute story and sometimes things like that do happenT like the movement of the story
It was light with a sense of humor
this is s good write.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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Cookie
Can you imagine the potential buyers lining up outside? Glad you enjoyed my humor. Smiles, CArol
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your a nut, a sweet nut, take care
Comment from jadapenn
This was magic and brought a wide grin to my face. Ah, so the man wants to buy the property as is? Good idea. I loved the way you developed your characters here. The suspense and humour was good.
Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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This was magic and brought a wide grin to my face. Ah, so the man wants to buy the property as is? Good idea. I loved the way you developed your characters here. The suspense and humour was good.
Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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Jada,
I struggled to get this under 500 words and then received a not from the contest organizer that it had to be above 500 words...I need to learn to read I guess. I wasn't rewriting the whole story so I just added a few lines...Glad you enjoyed it! Carol
Comment from jadapenn
This was magic and brought a wide grin to my face. Ah, so the man wants to buy the property as is? Good idea. I loved the way you developed your characters here. The suspense and humour was good.
Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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This was magic and brought a wide grin to my face. Ah, so the man wants to buy the property as is? Good idea. I loved the way you developed your characters here. The suspense and humour was good.
Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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Jada
You enjoyed it so much you wrote me again...Isn't that a great friend....Double bubble...lifting my spirits....Smiles..Carol
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Ah, I'll have to wangle the copyrights for this from you. I can see it develop into a full blown romance novel. :) Just think of the conflict straight after he's bought the house, lock, stock and barrel - her included. haha
Comment from missy98writer
Carol,
Another great story based on a contest. I could imagine Becky sleeping naked on her bed exhausted from her log hours as a RN as Tracy and her male client find her in the master bedroom. Great imagery. Another wonderful story. I'm surprised Becky didn't die of embarrassment when she looked into his brown eyes. Be still my heart if they are chocolate brown.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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Carol,
Another great story based on a contest. I could imagine Becky sleeping naked on her bed exhausted from her log hours as a RN as Tracy and her male client find her in the master bedroom. Great imagery. Another wonderful story. I'm surprised Becky didn't die of embarrassment when she looked into his brown eyes. Be still my heart if they are chocolate brown.
Melissa.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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Melissa
I think she was just to whacked out from lack of sleep...Besides, I thought I was limited to 500 words or I might have carried it a bit further...I just found out it was to be over not under 500. So I adjusted a few lines and let it stand as it was. Thanks, CArol