Haiku (golden eagle soars)
Haiku Contest67 total reviews
Comment from Domino 2
I understand that gerunds (many 'ing-ending' words) are mostly discouraged in haiku, as their usage is 'passive', rather than, 'active', and the main idea of haiku is to express vivid 'here and now' imagery, even though yours IS present tense.
I respectfully suggest 2nd line something like: 'as its sharp eyes sweep the ground'
I completely understand if you don't agree, and this is an excellent haiku as it is.
Cheers, Ray.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
I understand that gerunds (many 'ing-ending' words) are mostly discouraged in haiku, as their usage is 'passive', rather than, 'active', and the main idea of haiku is to express vivid 'here and now' imagery, even though yours IS present tense.
I respectfully suggest 2nd line something like: 'as its sharp eyes sweep the ground'
I completely understand if you don't agree, and this is an excellent haiku as it is.
Cheers, Ray.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thanks a lot for a great review, and your advise. In the end I chose to leave as it is though. All best.
Thanks for your very gracious reply, and I understand your decision.
Best wishes, Ray
Comment from MacMhuirich
Excellent wording and great imagery. The Golden Eagles are in danger all over Scotland for incidents like this, landowners are protecting their lands. thank you for sharing and best wishes for the contest.
Bless you
John
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
Excellent wording and great imagery. The Golden Eagles are in danger all over Scotland for incidents like this, landowners are protecting their lands. thank you for sharing and best wishes for the contest.
Bless you
John
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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John, thanks a lot for this great review. Yes, that's what I've read. All best.
Comment from joannakruk
Great piece. It begs the question, is someone representing the eagle? With his sharp eye, the eagle is a predator when on the hunt. But the eagle must eat too. His,actions are purely in the name of survival. Unfortunately that isn't always the case for human predators.
Great piece.
Jo
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
Great piece. It begs the question, is someone representing the eagle? With his sharp eye, the eagle is a predator when on the hunt. But the eagle must eat too. His,actions are purely in the name of survival. Unfortunately that isn't always the case for human predators.
Great piece.
Jo
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thanks a lot for this great review. All best.
Comment from Spitfire
Hard to find haikus with the grammatically connected sentence. You did it perfectly. Alliteration with golden and ground, soars, sweeping and sharp. My heart goes out to that lamb. That eagle's not golden in my book.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
Hard to find haikus with the grammatically connected sentence. You did it perfectly. Alliteration with golden and ground, soars, sweeping and sharp. My heart goes out to that lamb. That eagle's not golden in my book.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thanks a lot for this great review. All best.
Comment from Galactia
Hi
What a delightful haiku that you have here. The eagle has hid eye on his prey, excelkebt haiku.
I think you will do well in the contest.
Good luck
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
Hi
What a delightful haiku that you have here. The eagle has hid eye on his prey, excelkebt haiku.
I think you will do well in the contest.
Good luck
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much for the great review and thoughts. All best.
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a well written haiku. You can imagine what is happening. An eagle ready to dive for a baby lamb. Poor lamb. The the flying and diving would be beautiful to see.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
This is a well written haiku. You can imagine what is happening. An eagle ready to dive for a baby lamb. Poor lamb. The the flying and diving would be beautiful to see.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 09-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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Thanks. As you've given me a four, I would appreciate if you would tell me what mistakes I have made so I can correct. Ulla
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I am sorry, I meant to give you a five. I changed it.
Joan
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Hi joan, that is really kind of you. Thanks for doing that. All best. Ulla:)
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You're welcome.
Comment from Dawn Munro
OH! This is a wonderful picture you paint with this small poem. The two concrete images are connected so well, too, the mood established by the kire = ominous! I think this will do very well in the contest. Best of luck!
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
OH! This is a wonderful picture you paint with this small poem. The two concrete images are connected so well, too, the mood established by the kire = ominous! I think this will do very well in the contest. Best of luck!
Comment Written 09-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Dawn, thanks so much for your great review. I'm glad you liked it, and that I have got it right. Still learning to write Haiku. All best.
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It was my pleasure.
Comment from Kaydoe
You have met the criteria of a 5-7-4 haiku poem. It is well written and the picture
goes nicely with this poem. You bring the viewer close to the eagle and can picture him soaring and seeing his prey down below. So well written.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
You have met the criteria of a 5-7-4 haiku poem. It is well written and the picture
goes nicely with this poem. You bring the viewer close to the eagle and can picture him soaring and seeing his prey down below. So well written.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much for this great review. All best
Comment from Ogden
Terrific imagery! You certainly have fulfilled the requirements and guidelines of the 7-5-4 haiku prompt. The scene is set for the almost inevitable moments to follow.
Good job! And good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
Terrific imagery! You certainly have fulfilled the requirements and guidelines of the 7-5-4 haiku prompt. The scene is set for the almost inevitable moments to follow.
Good job! And good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 09-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much for this great review, and your good wishes. All best
Comment from Bill O'Bier
Great entry..... Excellent use of brief words to create interesting images. Good luck in the contest.
Wishing you the best,
Bill
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
Great entry..... Excellent use of brief words to create interesting images. Good luck in the contest.
Wishing you the best,
Bill
Comment Written 09-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thanks a lot, Bill, for this great review. So glad you liked it. All the best.