What if,
wondering about a different result.51 total reviews
Comment from amada
You write powerful, and grieving words in here...it touches my heart; very often I question myself about "I wonder if my grandson had lived beyoomd hjos twemty-seven years I would have a great grandson. Oh, we wish, we wish, don't we...
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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You write powerful, and grieving words in here...it touches my heart; very often I question myself about "I wonder if my grandson had lived beyoomd hjos twemty-seven years I would have a great grandson. Oh, we wish, we wish, don't we...
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Thank you for the review but also my condolences for your loss
Comment from Boogienights
I'm so sorry you lost your mom at such a young age. Things would have been different of course, and there is no way of knowing how. You should know though, and I believe this to be true, your mom has been watching over you the whole time. The same as my father who also died when I was young. Thank you for sharing your story.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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I'm so sorry you lost your mom at such a young age. Things would have been different of course, and there is no way of knowing how. You should know though, and I believe this to be true, your mom has been watching over you the whole time. The same as my father who also died when I was young. Thank you for sharing your story.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Thank you for not only your review but your kind comments
Comment from robyn corum
Mary,
I can't imagine what that must have been like for you - I'm so sorry. This poem, in a small space, shows so many of the things that were affected by your mother's death.
I don't see the need for the repetition, though. Sometimes, saying things repeatedly loses the effectiveness - while saying it once can make it feel more profound. But that's a subjective matter -
Thanks!
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Mary,
I can't imagine what that must have been like for you - I'm so sorry. This poem, in a small space, shows so many of the things that were affected by your mother's death.
I don't see the need for the repetition, though. Sometimes, saying things repeatedly loses the effectiveness - while saying it once can make it feel more profound. But that's a subjective matter -
Thanks!
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your review and comments
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about wondering how could things be when a traumatic event like losing a mother did not happen there are so many things that did not work out well and we wonder if her presence could make a difference.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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A very well-written poem about wondering how could things be when a traumatic event like losing a mother did not happen there are so many things that did not work out well and we wonder if her presence could make a difference.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Thank you for the review and comments
Comment from Chelle_GH
Oh for someone who does not write a poetry...You perfectly nailed it. I feel every lines... it really touched me.
Thank you so much for sharing your story.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Oh for someone who does not write a poetry...You perfectly nailed it. I feel every lines... it really touched me.
Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your kind review
Comment from LisaMay
You have expressed the ongoing hurt of loss, where we just don't know how our lives would've been different but we can articulate the areas that hurt most... where we can see the possibilities. You should write more poetry (as long as you keep writing those wonderful stories!) because you show an emotional sensitivity in this one that is most engaging.
(My mum died when I was 15 and i had lots of unanswered questions about how things could've been different. My dad was a shell of his former self too.)
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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You have expressed the ongoing hurt of loss, where we just don't know how our lives would've been different but we can articulate the areas that hurt most... where we can see the possibilities. You should write more poetry (as long as you keep writing those wonderful stories!) because you show an emotional sensitivity in this one that is most engaging.
(My mum died when I was 15 and i had lots of unanswered questions about how things could've been different. My dad was a shell of his former self too.)
Comment Written 11-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your kind words. I truly appreciate it.
Stay safe
Comment from royowen
This is so sad Mary, you pose some unanswerable questions, but I think maybe the evidence points to you being more happy than sad, it's so tragic to lose a mother and a baby sister together, there are two reasons for sadness, if nothing, why don't you write about what good things happened since? Beautifully written Mary, I enjoyed it, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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This is so sad Mary, you pose some unanswerable questions, but I think maybe the evidence points to you being more happy than sad, it's so tragic to lose a mother and a baby sister together, there are two reasons for sadness, if nothing, why don't you write about what good things happened since? Beautifully written Mary, I enjoyed it, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 11-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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Thank you Roy for your review and your kind words.
Stay safe.
Best regards,
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Most welcome
Comment from mermaids
Poetry is great way to capture memories and express thoughts. I am glad you wrote this poem. You lost your mother at a young age and that is not easy. I like your repeating line "I wonder if Ma lived beyond my seven years", it adds to the strength of your poem. I am sure many can relate to your words.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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Poetry is great way to capture memories and express thoughts. I am glad you wrote this poem. You lost your mother at a young age and that is not easy. I like your repeating line "I wonder if Ma lived beyond my seven years", it adds to the strength of your poem. I am sure many can relate to your words.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your kind words
Stay safe
Comment from mrsmajor
This is poetry, Mary, you have used your pen to express your self, to question the past, and most of all to remember your mother...This is poetry. and you have used the repetition of
"I wonder if Ma" very well...I understand this poem, my mother left us in final sleep, more than 60 years ago, (10/59)..and in times when I was troubled, I can still remember going to her, for that special smile of understanding.
I love the picture...Thanks for sharing this with us..Take Care and Stay Safe.
Warmly,
Victoria
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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This is poetry, Mary, you have used your pen to express your self, to question the past, and most of all to remember your mother...This is poetry. and you have used the repetition of
"I wonder if Ma" very well...I understand this poem, my mother left us in final sleep, more than 60 years ago, (10/59)..and in times when I was troubled, I can still remember going to her, for that special smile of understanding.
I love the picture...Thanks for sharing this with us..Take Care and Stay Safe.
Warmly,
Victoria
Comment Written 11-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your kind comments & may your mom rest in peace. I do not think you ever get over losing mom
My mother died 10/7/5
Regards & stay safe
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You're very welcome, Mary, it was my pleasure to comment, no, we will never get over the loss of a mother..we just go on living..as best we can...Stay Safe!
Warmly,
Victoria
Comment from equestrik
It is so sad for a child to loose a mother at such a young age. Of course those questions are always there in the back of your mind. I am sorry this happened but am glad that you can write about it.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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It is so sad for a child to loose a mother at such a young age. Of course those questions are always there in the back of your mind. I am sorry this happened but am glad that you can write about it.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your kind review and thoughts.