Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

This is adorable. I didn't see this contest, but I can see why you won. The poem is well constructed with excellent end rhymes. This would be fun to read to children. I am going to have to check out the rest of the book. Do you plan to publish?

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

Thank you. yes, do check out the rest if you have time - no need to review, but just for fun. Even I have had fun re-reading some of these that I had almost forgotten about.

One of my New year's goals was to get something to a publisher this year and here we are halfway through the year already and I'm still not really any nearer.

Steve

Comment from bob cullen

Exceptional

Superb.

Kiwisteveh, you certainly are a talented poet. This read and flowed magically. I can vision little children smiling on having this read to them.

Your rhyme and meter are sensational and the story is so heartwarming. Congratulations on a great poem

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

Bob, thanks so much for the generous review and the six stars.

Yes, I am rather fond of this one.

Steve

Comment from Christine B.

Excellent

Hello, Steve!

I'm usually under the impression that a children's poem is written too simply and ridiculously. I have been fortunate enough to stumble upon some quality ones here, and yours is definitely present at the top of that list. Intelligently entertaining.

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

Christine, thanks for the great review. I have to say I agree with you. I try not to talk down to kids in my poem and I certainly don't worry about using 'too difficult' words. If the story and rhyme and meter are good enough, they will get the meaning.

Steve

Comment from Drew Delaney

Excellent

I LIKE THIS VERY MUGH Steve. And you won a contest with it. How wonderful. I HAVE written a book of rhymes for children as well. It is so much fun. Best wishes as you continue.

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

Thanks, Drew.

Steve

Comment from Pyrrho

Excellent

change the last words of your second couplet me/see to I/eye and the grammar is corrected and the meaning unchanged.

"Oh where is my swash? Oh, where is my buckle?" Great line.

I love folerol, and it is not romantic love, it is lasting.

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

Thank you!

Steve

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

This enters the world of childhood imagination so naturally and being narrated by the teddy bear would give it a special appeal for children. The separation of 'swash' and 'buckle' in bear's mind is delightful. Much enjoyed.

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

Thanks, Tony!

Steve

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

Couplets? Tri-couplets? AABBCC? No matter. The meter and rhymes work. A better read for an ancient grouch than some
of the mystical stuff I see aimed at adults.

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

Thank you, O Ancient grouch!

Steve

Comment from Kenneth Schaal

Excellent

I think this one will make a great introduction into the book. It has a lot of emotion/sentiment, and is the embodiment of what we'd like to see in any small child. Did I mention it's well written, and pleasurable reading--but you knew that. Kenny

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

Thanks, Kenny. I have a bit of a soft spot for this one!

Steve

Comment from harmony13

Excellent

Excellent Poem! The poem flows and connects well. This poem was a delightful read. The author's words are creative, sweet and engaging. The artwork is perfect and enhances the theme of this poem.

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

Thank you!

Steve

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

this is so fun and cute and congrats on the win! I like that the teddy bear enjoys whatever comes his way as long as he is with Molly.
Teresa

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

Thanks, Teresa - yes he is a very loyal Ted.

Steve