The One Way Journey
A glimpse into the mindset of a man of purpose.94 total reviews
Comment from pickthorn
A nifty 5-7-5 poem that can be interpreted in several different ways. Just now read your notes. I see where you're coming from. great work, good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
A nifty 5-7-5 poem that can be interpreted in several different ways. Just now read your notes. I see where you're coming from. great work, good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
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Thanks alot for your encouragement and great review. I am truly glad that it makes sense to you.
My Regards
Comment from DIS-illusioned
Very nice picture art choice to complement your theme.
"It's the fueling yesterday,
Will make tomorrow."
This was interestingly expressed. Somehow, it reads awkward and fragmentary, though I could be wrong. That comma after 'yesterday' kinda throws me. So, the fueling of yesterday will keep you going tomorrow?
Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
Very nice picture art choice to complement your theme.
"It's the fueling yesterday,
Will make tomorrow."
This was interestingly expressed. Somehow, it reads awkward and fragmentary, though I could be wrong. That comma after 'yesterday' kinda throws me. So, the fueling of yesterday will keep you going tomorrow?
Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
Thanks for the lovely review.
Are you suggesting that i take off the comma after yesterday and why?
Would love feedback from you again on this.
Thanks alot!
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For the last two lines, consider:
'It's yesterday's fueling that
will launch tomorrow'
Just a suggestion. I still get your gist as it is. Good luck in your writing endeavors.
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Whao! Thank you for taking time to ponder on this. Really appreciate it.
Emm.. First, there's the rule of 5-7-5 syllable count to consider and secondly, the poem is personalized with the person expressing will to make tomorrow (not the fuel now that is the action factor but the 'will').
Having this in mind, i still very much welcome modified suggestions.
You are truly lovely to go this far on this.
Thank you!
Comment from mauial
I like the thought behind this that the fuel for today was yesterday. If you think about it, whether the day before was good or bad, if we are positive it helps us get through the day ahead. Great poem.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
I like the thought behind this that the fuel for today was yesterday. If you think about it, whether the day before was good or bad, if we are positive it helps us get through the day ahead. Great poem.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
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Thanks alot for your encouragement and great review. I am truly glad that it makes sense to you.
My Regards
Comment from rjuselius
i agree, life is a oneway street. this is an excellent piece of poetic art and has a very large chance to win the whole thing. i commend you writing such a profound poem.
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
i agree, life is a oneway street. this is an excellent piece of poetic art and has a very large chance to win the whole thing. i commend you writing such a profound poem.
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
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Thanks alot for your encouragement and great review. I am truly glad that it makes sense to you.
My Regards
Comment from Ekim777
We are all caught in this pattern of past present and future, society demands it, so we spend our lives preparing and preparing until we die and on our last day we say, I can't go now, I have so much to do. What is the future; the past projected forward. We have our ideas, we have our ideals so what we find in the future, after much effort; we find something of the past. Of course we need time to do this and that in a practical manner but life is a river with out banks. It flows forever and we must flow with it. What is our strength to do this? It is awareness, understanding and more awareness. This is our greatest strength. We are not separate from the world, We are not separate from what we see or do. We are all things. -Ekim777
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
We are all caught in this pattern of past present and future, society demands it, so we spend our lives preparing and preparing until we die and on our last day we say, I can't go now, I have so much to do. What is the future; the past projected forward. We have our ideas, we have our ideals so what we find in the future, after much effort; we find something of the past. Of course we need time to do this and that in a practical manner but life is a river with out banks. It flows forever and we must flow with it. What is our strength to do this? It is awareness, understanding and more awareness. This is our greatest strength. We are not separate from the world, We are not separate from what we see or do. We are all things. -Ekim777
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
Thanks alot for your encouragement and great review. I am truly glad that it makes sense to you and would recommend you should also voice this inspirational
viewpoint in poems and stories. People need to know!
My Regards
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'The One Way Journey' is a well-written and intriguing piece. Not for a moment would I attempt to answer this poet's rhetorical question. This work was a pleasure to both read and review.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
'The One Way Journey' is a well-written and intriguing piece. Not for a moment would I attempt to answer this poet's rhetorical question. This work was a pleasure to both read and review.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
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Thanks alot for your encouragement and great review. I am truly glad that it makes sense to you.
My Regards
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DaGirl, you're more than welcome.
With my best wishes, the Duchess
Comment from angel123
I enjoyed reading your 5-7-5 poem. It flows well and it is interesting and meaningful and your artwork choice and your author notes are excellent and inspiring.
angel123
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
I enjoyed reading your 5-7-5 poem. It flows well and it is interesting and meaningful and your artwork choice and your author notes are excellent and inspiring.
angel123
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
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Thanks alot for your encouragement and great review. I am truly glad that it makes sense to you.
My Regards
Comment from Fluffyhead
Great for a procrastinator like me. Love your notes will be bookmarking this. It is awe inspiring and makes me feel good. Especially the remark about the filling your tank
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
Great for a procrastinator like me. Love your notes will be bookmarking this. It is awe inspiring and makes me feel good. Especially the remark about the filling your tank
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
Thanks alot for your encouragement and great review. I am truly glad that it makes sense to you and humbled that you gave me 6 stars.
Much Regards
Comment from Glasstruth
Our past and desires are linked. It's the journey that's the fun part, and getting there almost spoils it. We've got to have a journey to follow, lead others to. Love the middle part about fueling that's the energy. Good luck with the contest! Les
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
Our past and desires are linked. It's the journey that's the fun part, and getting there almost spoils it. We've got to have a journey to follow, lead others to. Love the middle part about fueling that's the energy. Good luck with the contest! Les
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
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Thanks alot for your encouragement and great review. I am truly glad that it makes sense to you.
My Regards
Comment from teresa.b
Really great 5-7-5. I like the analogy to fueling up your car. Never thought of it that way. Very inspirational. It's short and sweet so people can remember it and take it along on their life journeys. Nice. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
Really great 5-7-5. I like the analogy to fueling up your car. Never thought of it that way. Very inspirational. It's short and sweet so people can remember it and take it along on their life journeys. Nice. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
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Thanks alot for your encouragement and great review. I am truly glad that it makes sense to you.
My Regards