Hot Dogs, French Fries, Lemonade!
An ode to a hot dog stand.130 total reviews
Comment from Nosha17
I like the idea that it is an ode to the memories of fun times in the past with family. I am not fond of hot dogs at all. When I was in LA visiting my daughter who lives near Pasadena-she works at NASA-we went to the old LA market and had very authentic Mexican food-I loved it. Nice imagery and well chosen words to convey your thoughts. Congratulations on your win. Faye
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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I like the idea that it is an ode to the memories of fun times in the past with family. I am not fond of hot dogs at all. When I was in LA visiting my daughter who lives near Pasadena-she works at NASA-we went to the old LA market and had very authentic Mexican food-I loved it. Nice imagery and well chosen words to convey your thoughts. Congratulations on your win. Faye
Comment Written 28-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Faye, for your kind review and congratulations. Everyone has a special place of memories of fun times in the past with family. Skooby's was mine.
Comment from Hareem.S
This is a good mouth watering poem. It is very creative to write an ode to food. This poem was like a breath of fresh air and i enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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This is a good mouth watering poem. It is very creative to write an ode to food. This poem was like a breath of fresh air and i enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Hareem S., for your tasty review of my mouth watering poem. I am glad it gave you a breath of fresh air.
Comment from Helena Frances
Fun and intriguing--hints of sadness mixed with relish and french fries.
Love how you use different script to emphasize a feeling, and loved 'proloooong'
Clever and different--good luck in the contest:)
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Fun and intriguing--hints of sadness mixed with relish and french fries.
Love how you use different script to emphasize a feeling, and loved 'proloooong'
Clever and different--good luck in the contest:)
Comment Written 28-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Helena, I won the contest with this poem! After twelve attempts, my thirteenth proved to be lucky for me. Many judges and reviewers like you noted the poem's bittersweet memories and clever use of wording. Thank you for your review and support.
Comment from wordsfromsue
Wow, I was sitting there with you guys. I can feel the scene.
The lemon tree memories especially touched my heart. Your mom sounds wonderful.
Beautiful work. :-)
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Wow, I was sitting there with you guys. I can feel the scene.
The lemon tree memories especially touched my heart. Your mom sounds wonderful.
Beautiful work. :-)
Comment Written 28-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Thank you, wordsfromsue, again for your generous, six star review. Yes, the lemonade triggered memories of my mother "Yeller Gal" and her lemon tree.
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I'll bet that lemon tree smelled awesome!
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It did. I can smell it now.
Comment from tfawcus
How you make the scene come to life! What a fine poem - just begging to be performed! The performance is pretty darned good, too. Congratulations!
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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How you make the scene come to life! What a fine poem - just begging to be performed! The performance is pretty darned good, too. Congratulations!
Comment Written 28-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Thank you, tfawcus, for your generous review and for your congratulations. I translated my spoken word performance to the page so that the words would sound the way I performed them. I am glad my poem made this scene come to life for you.
Comment from CR Delport
These days the independent operators are killed by the franchises, but every now and again you still find a hidden gem. This is very well done. Good luck.
Take care.
Christelle.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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These days the independent operators are killed by the franchises, but every now and again you still find a hidden gem. This is very well done. Good luck.
Take care.
Christelle.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Christelle, for your kind review. I am glad this gem of a hot dog stand is still there and that this poem won me my first FanStory poetry contest. Thanks for wishing me good luck.
Comment from dragonpoet
Nice simile at the end about putting something down in memories. Yes, yes the same memory can be both happy and bitter. I like the way you spaced out one at a time and put extra o's in prolong in stanza six. It gives the feeling of lengthening the time so the memory will have more impact.
Congrats on the win.
Keep writing.
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Nice simile at the end about putting something down in memories. Yes, yes the same memory can be both happy and bitter. I like the way you spaced out one at a time and put extra o's in prolong in stanza six. It gives the feeling of lengthening the time so the memory will have more impact.
Congrats on the win.
Keep writing.
dragonpoet
Comment Written 28-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Precisely, dragonpoet, I lengthened the time "so the memory will have more impact." The meal may be fast food, but how often will I get to eat with "my brother, my sister, my partner" on Hollywood Boulevard atop the Walk of Fame? I slowed the meal down to observe and taste everything because I want to make the memory last as long as possible.
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I am glad I got your meaning.
dragonpoet
Comment from Benny Beeharry
No wonder this writing exudes with joy and sincerity. Simple but vast in joys and enjoyment. The description is so alive, i could taste the hotdogs from here.
Brilliant.
Benny Beeharry
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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No wonder this writing exudes with joy and sincerity. Simple but vast in joys and enjoyment. The description is so alive, i could taste the hotdogs from here.
Brilliant.
Benny Beeharry
Comment Written 28-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Benny Beeharry, for your tasty review. My poem distilled joy and sincerity. Thanks.
Comment from BeasPeas
This is really nice. I enjoyed reading it. You made the food sound delish! My dad's favorite was lemon meringue pie. The photo itself is a gem. It sounds like you're quite a performer, too. Special talent to recite at slams, open mic. I've done it, too, but for my personality--stressful.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
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This is really nice. I enjoyed reading it. You made the food sound delish! My dad's favorite was lemon meringue pie. The photo itself is a gem. It sounds like you're quite a performer, too. Special talent to recite at slams, open mic. I've done it, too, but for my personality--stressful.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
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Thank you, BeasPeas, for your generous, enthusiastic review. "Hot Dogs, French Fries, Lemonade" began as a spoken word poem I performed two years ago. I challenge I faced in the written version was translating the words onto the screen or page to make them sound like the way I performed them. I did not change a word of text. I added enjambment, spaces between words, and decreasing font so the reader can hear and feel the words. After twelve contests and twelve attempts, I am thrilled to win my first FanStory poetry contest with this ode. Thank you for your support.
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Hi Cat. Do you regularly perform in poetry slams? There is another one here in August and I'm contemplating it.
I enjoyed reading this one you wrote--it carries a lot of energy. Great job. Marilyn
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Marilyn: I perform at story slams. I have not done a poetry slam this year. I urge you to try one.
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I have done two slams, and contemplating the one next month. Lots of fun, but stressful.
Comment from RGstar
A jolly wel done for the contest winner. Vivid imagery and a well thought out theme.
Catchy and light, you deliver well. I must say, it made me hungry for a bit of sweet.
Well done.
Best wishes.
RGstar
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
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A jolly wel done for the contest winner. Vivid imagery and a well thought out theme.
Catchy and light, you deliver well. I must say, it made me hungry for a bit of sweet.
Well done.
Best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 27-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
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Thank you, RGstar, for your kind review and congratulations. After twelve attempts, this is my first FanStory poetry contest win. I am glad my poem made you hungry.