A Vampire's Proposal
Love transcends death47 total reviews
Comment from equestrik
Not a usual genre for me but this is a very well written and wonderfully rhymed bit of work! your poem should be the intro to a book or something-teens and young adults would really go for this.
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Not a usual genre for me but this is a very well written and wonderfully rhymed bit of work! your poem should be the intro to a book or something-teens and young adults would really go for this.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Well crafted and interesting story in a poem format.
Various strong rhymes help tell the tale of what the vampire craves.
Open ending leaves wonder about if she stayed or left.
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Well crafted and interesting story in a poem format.
Various strong rhymes help tell the tale of what the vampire craves.
Open ending leaves wonder about if she stayed or left.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
Comment from jenintorre
I sure wouldn't want to run into him on a dark night. I enjoyed reading your poem it is interesting and unusual. Very well chosen artwork. I wish you lots of luck in the competition. Best wishes. Jen.
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I sure wouldn't want to run into him on a dark night. I enjoyed reading your poem it is interesting and unusual. Very well chosen artwork. I wish you lots of luck in the competition. Best wishes. Jen.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I thought this was such a lovely poem. The love of a vampire for his undead queen is so different from the normal vampire poems. You've written a rhyming poem, that is an excellent contest entry, well done and good luck! :)) Sandra xx
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I thought this was such a lovely poem. The love of a vampire for his undead queen is so different from the normal vampire poems. You've written a rhyming poem, that is an excellent contest entry, well done and good luck! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
Comment from DeboraDyess
That's chilling, Lance! It's a beautiful, dark read full of great imagery. There were no errors or need for change. I enjoyed this line the most:
Though blood sustains, it's Love I need.
An interesting take on the undead, and a popular one right now. :)
Very well done! Good luck in the contest.
Blessings,
Deb
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That's chilling, Lance! It's a beautiful, dark read full of great imagery. There were no errors or need for change. I enjoyed this line the most:
Though blood sustains, it's Love I need.
An interesting take on the undead, and a popular one right now. :)
Very well done! Good luck in the contest.
Blessings,
Deb
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
Great storytelling, good juxtaposition of fear and grace. I enjoyed the premise of a vampire with a past, with regrets, and perhaps a bit of his soul still intact. I always love rhyme. - Wendy
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Great storytelling, good juxtaposition of fear and grace. I enjoyed the premise of a vampire with a past, with regrets, and perhaps a bit of his soul still intact. I always love rhyme. - Wendy
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
Comment from Pantygynt
This is really quite an erotic piece that invokes the traditional undead mythology of the vampire in a poem about sexual desire, and the physical possession by the lover of the object of his affections. Despite the admitted lack of metre, the poem poses a rhythm of its own.
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This is really quite an erotic piece that invokes the traditional undead mythology of the vampire in a poem about sexual desire, and the physical possession by the lover of the object of his affections. Despite the admitted lack of metre, the poem poses a rhythm of its own.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
Comment from Eternal Muse
A bloodily delightful vampire poem (pun intended). Loved your imagery, visuals; the vocabulary used and your creativity.
You are mortal and so wonder why?
True, with one errant kiss; you'll die.
A very enjoyable write which, I am sure, will do very well in the contest; good luck in the booths.
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A bloodily delightful vampire poem (pun intended). Loved your imagery, visuals; the vocabulary used and your creativity.
You are mortal and so wonder why?
True, with one errant kiss; you'll die.
A very enjoyable write which, I am sure, will do very well in the contest; good luck in the booths.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
Comment from Mastery
Hi Lance. This is different. I like the way you constructed this poetry with a lotx of strong verbs pushing it forward.
"Do you feel it creeping up your back
Your heart pounds fearing attack"
Regretably, Lance, I have used all of my sixes today. Sorry, I cannot believe I don't have one for this wonderful effort. Bob
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Hi Lance. This is different. I like the way you constructed this poetry with a lotx of strong verbs pushing it forward.
"Do you feel it creeping up your back
Your heart pounds fearing attack"
Regretably, Lance, I have used all of my sixes today. Sorry, I cannot believe I don't have one for this wonderful effort. Bob
Comment Written 19-Oct-2020
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Love transcends death
A Vampire's Proposal
by lancellot
Hello, my friend,
I love your vampire live story. I am a big fan of the Dracula story and movies. I like the presentation very much. Your vampire seems torn between his blood meal or the love of his life. :) Well done!
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Love transcends death
A Vampire's Proposal
by lancellot
Hello, my friend,
I love your vampire live story. I am a big fan of the Dracula story and movies. I like the presentation very much. Your vampire seems torn between his blood meal or the love of his life. :) Well done!
Comment Written 19-Oct-2020
