A Vampire's Proposal
Love transcends death47 total reviews
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Wow. This poem works for the rhyming poem. The rhyme is so natural. It flows so well. But this is also a fantastic poem for the month of Halloween. I love the message in the poem. It's made me very uncomfortable and I like that!
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Wow. This poem works for the rhyming poem. The rhyme is so natural. It flows so well. But this is also a fantastic poem for the month of Halloween. I love the message in the poem. It's made me very uncomfortable and I like that!
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
Comment from Jay Squires
You are still here, Lance! What a reward for having paid my $69. This was such a remarkable poem. Not a forced rhyme in its entirety. It's not a short poem, either. And still you've managed coherence in the body of your poem. Structure and content--sublime, my friend. Now don't you go anywhere. We've got some catching up to do.
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You are still here, Lance! What a reward for having paid my $69. This was such a remarkable poem. Not a forced rhyme in its entirety. It's not a short poem, either. And still you've managed coherence in the body of your poem. Structure and content--sublime, my friend. Now don't you go anywhere. We've got some catching up to do.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
Comment from barbara.wilkey
All the poets come out for Halloween and us reviewers get the benefit from it. LOL I enjoyed reading your contest entry and feel you should show good. MY youngest son was filling me on vampire's the other day. I guess there's some game he plays that has them. I guess there's a pecking order. LOL Who knew? Anyway, good luck.
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All the poets come out for Halloween and us reviewers get the benefit from it. LOL I enjoyed reading your contest entry and feel you should show good. MY youngest son was filling me on vampire's the other day. I guess there's some game he plays that has them. I guess there's a pecking order. LOL Who knew? Anyway, good luck.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
Comment from Minglement
Wow - you sound too well versed in this underworld :) Should we fear you? Great, moving entry for the Rhymed Poem contest. Very romantic - in a creepy way lol. Well done! Good luck in the contest.
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Wow - you sound too well versed in this underworld :) Should we fear you? Great, moving entry for the Rhymed Poem contest. Very romantic - in a creepy way lol. Well done! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This poem is a very interesting, innovative and experimentally thoughtful work about experience of feeling vampire and comparing the appeal and attraction of a fair lady in mortal appearance; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
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This poem is a very interesting, innovative and experimentally thoughtful work about experience of feeling vampire and comparing the appeal and attraction of a fair lady in mortal appearance; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
Comment from Cynthia Adams1
I liked this poem a lot. You seem to know quite a bit about vampires and about good writing :)
It told a coherent story that moved forward in a nice manner.
The artwork fits it very well.
My only suggestion is that you re-work a line here and there so that the meter/beat would be better to the ear.
For example, in the fifth stanza which is one of my favorites, I think if the line were changed to
"It's true; once I basked in His light"
would sound better.
Nice job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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I liked this poem a lot. You seem to know quite a bit about vampires and about good writing :)
It told a coherent story that moved forward in a nice manner.
The artwork fits it very well.
My only suggestion is that you re-work a line here and there so that the meter/beat would be better to the ear.
For example, in the fifth stanza which is one of my favorites, I think if the line were changed to
"It's true; once I basked in His light"
would sound better.
Nice job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
It's a true love that keeps him from going in for the bite. I don't think I could stay if I knew, or was told, my love was a vampire. However, if I was told my husband was a vampire, or if he told me, I'd stay. I'd probably laugh.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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It's a true love that keeps him from going in for the bite. I don't think I could stay if I knew, or was told, my love was a vampire. However, if I was told my husband was a vampire, or if he told me, I'd stay. I'd probably laugh.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
