The Victim
A man runs off with his chosen one19 total reviews
Comment from Spitfire
Ho,ho,ho. Very funny. I was guessing it might be a dog or cat so the ending did surprise me. Great build up to the climatic moment. Nice emphasis on his eyes and carried over to his 'attack' on the pumpkin.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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Ho,ho,ho. Very funny. I was guessing it might be a dog or cat so the ending did surprise me. Great build up to the climatic moment. Nice emphasis on his eyes and carried over to his 'attack' on the pumpkin.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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I won the contest, I was so shocked! It was fun to write and I'm so glad I fooled people. That was fun too. =] Thank you. Hope you are doing okay. This is a hard time, I hate it!! Please Lord let this stupid thing end!
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Congratulations.
All of us are so sick of the Pandemic. Pardon the pun.
Comment from dragonpoet
What a wonderful suprise ending. All the way through you though he was a vampire or a rapist/murder. If there were so many people around, how come no one saw the theft? The Witcher is a good series.
Keep writing and stay heatlhy.
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2020
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What a wonderful suprise ending. All the way through you though he was a vampire or a rapist/murder. If there were so many people around, how come no one saw the theft? The Witcher is a good series.
Keep writing and stay heatlhy.
dragonpoet
Comment Written 09-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2020
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Everyone was distracted, remember? =] So many costumes to look at. Sometimes the more people the less is seen. Ask the police. =] Thanks so much. You stay healthy too. =]
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I guess so. There shouldn't be so many so close together these days.
You're welcome.
dp
Comment from amada
Congratulations in winning this contest. Your story was very well written it kept the suspense, and it was fast...Now I encountered a killer pumpkin" Oh no, I love pumpkin pie!
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2020
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Congratulations in winning this contest. Your story was very well written it kept the suspense, and it was fast...Now I encountered a killer pumpkin" Oh no, I love pumpkin pie!
Comment Written 08-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2020
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I love pumpkin pie too! Thanks so much.
Comment from sammielwf
What an excellent story with a wicked plot twist! You had me guessing and hoping against hope his "victim" would get away!
Well done here Roxanna.
Sammielwf
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2020
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What an excellent story with a wicked plot twist! You had me guessing and hoping against hope his "victim" would get away!
Well done here Roxanna.
Sammielwf
Comment Written 08-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2020
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Thanks so much. It was really fun to write.
Comment from teols2016
Nice twist at the end there. You had me thinking this was a serial killer/predator, which is the kind of horror story I prefer (we do worse to one another in real life than fiction ever could.) Well done making this an enjoyable piece for the holiday. Congrats on your victory.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2020
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Nice twist at the end there. You had me thinking this was a serial killer/predator, which is the kind of horror story I prefer (we do worse to one another in real life than fiction ever could.) Well done making this an enjoyable piece for the holiday. Congrats on your victory.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2020
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Thanks so much. It was very fun to write. I do love a good serial killer also. Humm. I did write about one not long ago. And she is still on the loose!
Comment from Contests
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2020
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 A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry. |
Comment Written 08-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much again!!
Comment from JudyE
You've done well with this to build up the tension and keep the surprise till the last minute. I enjoyed reading it.
Just a couple of suggestions:
His heart raced, he felt a sense of fear and anticipation. - period after 'raced' rather than a comma
He pulled his coat toward him and lifting with strong hands, he ran. - comma after 'and'
Taking out his knife he held the tip against his victim's smooth skin. - comma after 'knife'
"Do you want triangle eyes or round?" He asked the pumpkin, studying it with a gleam in his yellow eyes. - lower case for 'he'
Best wishes
Judy
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2020
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You've done well with this to build up the tension and keep the surprise till the last minute. I enjoyed reading it.
Just a couple of suggestions:
His heart raced, he felt a sense of fear and anticipation. - period after 'raced' rather than a comma
He pulled his coat toward him and lifting with strong hands, he ran. - comma after 'and'
Taking out his knife he held the tip against his victim's smooth skin. - comma after 'knife'
"Do you want triangle eyes or round?" He asked the pumpkin, studying it with a gleam in his yellow eyes. - lower case for 'he'
Best wishes
Judy
Comment Written 02-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2020
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Thank you Judy, haven't seen you on here lately. Hope all is well. Rocx
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I seem to have been busy and can't find much inspiration at the moment. But thanks, all is well. :)
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Glad to hear it. I was off a loooong time. I had problems with depression, but am much better now. I am very busy making cards, I sell them on an online site so haven't been writing a whole lot. Tis the season for Christmas cards. =] Take care.
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Certainly, it's the time for thinking about Christmas cards. I'm sorry you've not been well but glad you're now much better. Depression is the pits. Take care.
Comment from Mistydawn
Lol. What a story. I thought the guy was a serial killer. When I got to the end, I had to laugh. Your artwork is very cleaver. It added to the deception. Great job. I wish I had a six to give, but I'm all out.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Lol. What a story. I thought the guy was a serial killer. When I got to the end, I had to laugh. Your artwork is very cleaver. It added to the deception. Great job. I wish I had a six to give, but I'm all out.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Thanks so much! =]
Comment from Michele Harber
I love this, Roxanne. I suspected (and hoped) there were a twist at the end, and you didn't disappoint. The victim's being a pumpkin came as a total surprise. You did a wonderful job with set-up, and the story was eerie and suspenseful, with just the right amount of detail about the surroundings and his ability to hide in them unnoticed. I love that you continued the suspense and even built on it to the very end, capped by the line, "Taking out his knife he held the tip against his victim's smooth skin." You definitely leave the reader guessing until the very end, as a good story should, and the picture matches the story perfectly. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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I love this, Roxanne. I suspected (and hoped) there were a twist at the end, and you didn't disappoint. The victim's being a pumpkin came as a total surprise. You did a wonderful job with set-up, and the story was eerie and suspenseful, with just the right amount of detail about the surroundings and his ability to hide in them unnoticed. I love that you continued the suspense and even built on it to the very end, capped by the line, "Taking out his knife he held the tip against his victim's smooth skin." You definitely leave the reader guessing until the very end, as a good story should, and the picture matches the story perfectly. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much! It was fun to write and I'm so glad I fooled people. That's of course, what made it so much. I am most honored by your great review and the 6 stars. Thank you my dear.
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You're very welcome, Rox. I really enjoyed this, and I definitely hope you win the contest.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Halloween story. The mysterious guy eyeing that pumpkin for days before he get the courage to follow through his plan to steal it just to carve out a face on the pumpkin.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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A very well-written Halloween story. The mysterious guy eyeing that pumpkin for days before he get the courage to follow through his plan to steal it just to carve out a face on the pumpkin.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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Thank you Sandra. Happy Halloween. =]
