Granddaughter
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "A Fool for Candy"Poems and Prose
4 total reviews
Comment from Paul Borders
If this is a child's rhyming poem, then I must be a child because I really liked it. I chuckled thrice. And not the candy Chuckles - the giggling kind. My vote placed your entry in 4th place. I don't get that. This is a well crafted submission and hope it receives more votes.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2020
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If this is a child's rhyming poem, then I must be a child because I really liked it. I chuckled thrice. And not the candy Chuckles - the giggling kind. My vote placed your entry in 4th place. I don't get that. This is a well crafted submission and hope it receives more votes.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2020
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Thanks so much for the review, as well as words of encouragement.
Comment from Wendy G
A fun poem,and children will love it. Well done. I see the verse with all the candy names almost like a bit of a rap in the middle. I think your idea was clever and original, so well done.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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A fun poem,and children will love it. Well done. I see the verse with all the candy names almost like a bit of a rap in the middle. I think your idea was clever and original, so well done.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much.
Comment from George Santhosh
What a fun little poem you have written. No wonder your daughter love it. It's something you should definitely share with more parents with little kids. It's pretty funny too.
Here are a few possible modifications:
in the store , -> Seem to have an extra space before the comma
trip to ER was (the) price to pay
I ate too much candy -> Remove the 'I'. Will make the poem flow better
Thank you for sharing, and all the best to the both of you.
George
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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What a fun little poem you have written. No wonder your daughter love it. It's something you should definitely share with more parents with little kids. It's pretty funny too.
Here are a few possible modifications:
in the store , -> Seem to have an extra space before the comma
trip to ER was (the) price to pay
I ate too much candy -> Remove the 'I'. Will make the poem flow better
Thank you for sharing, and all the best to the both of you.
George
Comment Written 06-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much for your suggestions.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
This is very fun. I love candy too. You'd know that if you could see me. Be glad you can't. Don't you just hate Zoom!! Anyway, I love PB M&M's, could eat a truck load, and PB Cups, could also eat a truck load. I like PB. This is super cute, really great meter and rhyme. Hope you do well in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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This is very fun. I love candy too. You'd know that if you could see me. Be glad you can't. Don't you just hate Zoom!! Anyway, I love PB M&M's, could eat a truck load, and PB Cups, could also eat a truck load. I like PB. This is super cute, really great meter and rhyme. Hope you do well in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much. It was a fun write.
