A Day At The Park
Just mom and me10 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Love the meter of this poem and you really captured the feeling that it's a little child's exuberance about a day playing at the park. I smiled at the mother getting stuck halfway down the slide. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2020
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Love the meter of this poem and you really captured the feeling that it's a little child's exuberance about a day playing at the park. I smiled at the mother getting stuck halfway down the slide. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 07-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2020
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Thank you for this nice review...I've experienced the slide incident..lol. Thanks again for reading.
Comment from Julie Sandy
A beautiful poem I love the rhyme throughout, it was so descriptive I could imagine all the fun that a day in the park can bring.
Kids would love this
Good luck in the competition
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2020
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A beautiful poem I love the rhyme throughout, it was so descriptive I could imagine all the fun that a day in the park can bring.
Kids would love this
Good luck in the competition
Comment Written 07-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2020
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Thanks for reading. My kids are all grown and I miss those park days. I appreciate you taking time to read my poem.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written rhyming poem for children about the fun they have at the park riding all the equipment together and have a good laugh when mom got stuck halfway down.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2020
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A very well-written rhyming poem for children about the fun they have at the park riding all the equipment together and have a good laugh when mom got stuck halfway down.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2020
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Thank you for taking time to read and review my poem. :)
Comment from djsaxon
I love this because of the innocence it portrays. The random snippets from the child really strengthen the write. Good rhyme and meter throughout. You have captured the sense of wonder that eludes too many 'grown ups'. Thank you for sharing - DJ
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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I love this because of the innocence it portrays. The random snippets from the child really strengthen the write. Good rhyme and meter throughout. You have captured the sense of wonder that eludes too many 'grown ups'. Thank you for sharing - DJ
Comment Written 06-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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Thank you for reading my poem and for your kind words.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
My mom and (me) went out today, (it should be an 'I' I went out)
Hello, anonymous,
Great entry for the Children's Rhyming Poem writing prompt contest. I think the poem is adequate for children in syntax and imagery. Nice rhyme. Wonderful imagination. My favorite thas far in the contest.
My mom and me went out today,
Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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My mom and (me) went out today, (it should be an 'I' I went out)
Hello, anonymous,
Great entry for the Children's Rhyming Poem writing prompt contest. I think the poem is adequate for children in syntax and imagery. Nice rhyme. Wonderful imagination. My favorite thas far in the contest.
My mom and me went out today,
Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 06-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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Thank you for this nice review. I intentionally put mom and me because I wanted it to be in a child's voice. My kids said mom and me ...luckily their Grammer is much better these days. Lol. Thanks again. :)
Comment from George Santhosh
What a lovely poem! I still remember when my parents took me to the park. I loved the playful incidents you narrated like when mom got dizzy
Here is a minor suggestion. Modifying these sentences make the poem read a bit better. May want to consider it.
Cause mom got stuck halfway down, (Removed 'had')
before her two feet touched the ground. (Removed 'two)
Thank you for sharing and all the best!
George
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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What a lovely poem! I still remember when my parents took me to the park. I loved the playful incidents you narrated like when mom got dizzy
Here is a minor suggestion. Modifying these sentences make the poem read a bit better. May want to consider it.
Cause mom got stuck halfway down, (Removed 'had')
before her two feet touched the ground. (Removed 'two)
Thank you for sharing and all the best!
George
Comment Written 06-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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Thank you for reading my poem and for your great suggestions. I guess I was trying to maintain a sllyable count the same for each line. Something I learned on FanStory..lol. I really appreciate you taking time to read my poem. :)
Comment from AnnieDawn
I love this poem. It is so typical of a day in the park and not many Moms would ride the equipment with their child like I did and how you described in this poem. Kids will love it too. Great job.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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I love this poem. It is so typical of a day in the park and not many Moms would ride the equipment with their child like I did and how you described in this poem. Kids will love it too. Great job.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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Thank you for this nice review...I jumped on the merry go round with my daughters when they were small :) Thanks again for reading.
Comment from WriterHeather
Wow! This is such a wonderful children's poem. I absolutely love it and think that kids would too. It flows so perfectly and is just so full of joy. Well done!
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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Wow! This is such a wonderful children's poem. I absolutely love it and think that kids would too. It flows so perfectly and is just so full of joy. Well done!
Comment Written 06-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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Thank you for this wonderful 6 star review, i'm so grateful. :)
Comment from Vanna1
Good presentation. I like the theme, kids love parks and playgrounds. Good flow and rhyme. I sounds like a kid's words. Good luck and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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Good presentation. I like the theme, kids love parks and playgrounds. Good flow and rhyme. I sounds like a kid's words. Good luck and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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Thank you for this very nice review. :)
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
This is wonderful. It is so perfect. I could read it fast without missing a beat and that's always the mark of a great poem. =] My mark anyway and I know nothing. But I like this very much and feel it has perfect meter and rhyme. Hope you win.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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This is wonderful. It is so perfect. I could read it fast without missing a beat and that's always the mark of a great poem. =] My mark anyway and I know nothing. But I like this very much and feel it has perfect meter and rhyme. Hope you win.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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You are so kind, thank you for these shining stars. I appreciate you reading my poem. :)
