The Poppy Bleeds
A Shakespearean Sonnet for the contest45 total reviews
Comment from poetwatch
Been there, done that, Tony, :) a long time ago when the world was on my shoulders. I haven't seen a poppy since South-East-Asia. Do they grow in Australia? It does bring forgetfulness, but it also brings memories from the past. This is a good entry for the Sonnet Poetry Contest. Thank you for sharing. :) Take care of yourself, my friend.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Been there, done that, Tony, :) a long time ago when the world was on my shoulders. I haven't seen a poppy since South-East-Asia. Do they grow in Australia? It does bring forgetfulness, but it also brings memories from the past. This is a good entry for the Sonnet Poetry Contest. Thank you for sharing. :) Take care of yourself, my friend.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Thanks, poetwatch. I appreciate your review. Most readers misunderstood my intention. I?m glad it was clear to you. South Australia has an ideal climate for poppy growing. We have several varieties in our garden. Legal here as long as you?re not cutting the seed pods for that infamous milky sap.
Comment from Eternal Muse
Tony, it was a beautiful sonnet. Poppy is my favorite flower and it was a real treat.
Exquisite and sophisticated, poetically flawless, it stands out and could make one of the prime contenders.
Loved these:
I wear my tasselled cap and velvet gown,
one languid hand is raised to cool my brow,
the hubble-bubble soothes, I slowly drown
in lethargy and leave the here and now.
Check the spelling of "tasseled". I think you have one "l" too many.
And just on a personal observation, the words below stuck out like a sore finger in the sonnet of that beauty:
"I'm shit-wrecked" [on the rocks, washed up by guile]
To me it detracted from the whole air of elegance of the poem. It may be just my opinion; I am very careful with my language, especially in sonnets, since they are supposed to represent elegance, class and purity of language. This is my opinion which are welcome to disregard in its entirety.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Tony, it was a beautiful sonnet. Poppy is my favorite flower and it was a real treat.
Exquisite and sophisticated, poetically flawless, it stands out and could make one of the prime contenders.
Loved these:
I wear my tasselled cap and velvet gown,
one languid hand is raised to cool my brow,
the hubble-bubble soothes, I slowly drown
in lethargy and leave the here and now.
Check the spelling of "tasseled". I think you have one "l" too many.
And just on a personal observation, the words below stuck out like a sore finger in the sonnet of that beauty:
"I'm shit-wrecked" [on the rocks, washed up by guile]
To me it detracted from the whole air of elegance of the poem. It may be just my opinion; I am very careful with my language, especially in sonnets, since they are supposed to represent elegance, class and purity of language. This is my opinion which are welcome to disregard in its entirety.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Thanks so much for your kind words, Yelena. 'Tasselled' is the UK spelling.
The poem was actually about a man in a drug-induced state and the final couplet, although jarring, was intentional. I was trying to express the idea that he had been wrecked by drugs (colloquially 'shit') because of the siren?s wiles! A pun on the sailor?s fate of being shipwrecked on the rocks (ie a drug addict and stony broke)
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I guess, I am just allergic to those words (lol).
Comment from Pantygynt
One could almost believe this was a tale of a mis-spent youth in the opium dens of the Far East. Both the attraction of the opium induced dream and the horrors of addiction are given an airing here. The latter is left to the final couplet and does not pull its punches. This is an original idea for a sonnet and a good one. I bet Coleridge wished he had thought of it. He had a liking for poppy visions when left alone by that worrisome person from Porlock.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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One could almost believe this was a tale of a mis-spent youth in the opium dens of the Far East. Both the attraction of the opium induced dream and the horrors of addiction are given an airing here. The latter is left to the final couplet and does not pull its punches. This is an original idea for a sonnet and a good one. I bet Coleridge wished he had thought of it. He had a liking for poppy visions when left alone by that worrisome person from Porlock.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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You were one of very few who understood the intention of this poem, Jim. I had some interesting reviews! Many thanks for your comments and that knockout collection of stars.
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I am honoured.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
While stationed in Germany, I remember the beautiful fields of poppies. We have some in the US but not as many as in Germany. I've already mentioned how much I enjoy sonnets and this contest entry is, in my opinion perfect. Thank you for sharing and good luck.
I'm shit-wrecked, on the rocks, washed up by guile, (Did you mean ship-wrecked?)
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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While stationed in Germany, I remember the beautiful fields of poppies. We have some in the US but not as many as in Germany. I've already mentioned how much I enjoy sonnets and this contest entry is, in my opinion perfect. Thank you for sharing and good luck.
I'm shit-wrecked, on the rocks, washed up by guile, (Did you mean ship-wrecked?)
Comment Written 25-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Thanks, Barbara. I appreciate your kind words and comments about Germany. The last couplet was intended, though perhaps inappropriate. I was trying to express the idea that he had been wrecked by drugs (colloquially 'shit') because of the siren?s wiles! A pun on the sailor?s fate of being shipwrecked on the rocks (ie a drug addict and stony broke).
Many thanks for your knockout collection of stars. Stunning! LOL
Comment from nomi338
The healing power of a sincere and friendly smile, delivered at the proper time, can heal the deepest and most painful wounds. Friendly and or sympathetic words are fine, but can seem false or misleading, but if delivered with a genuine smile, those words can change and affect someone's world.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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The healing power of a sincere and friendly smile, delivered at the proper time, can heal the deepest and most painful wounds. Friendly and or sympathetic words are fine, but can seem false or misleading, but if delivered with a genuine smile, those words can change and affect someone's world.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Thanks, Nomi. Very true. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Brenda Elizabeth Rose
Your poem is so deep I had to read it twice to review it. Your rhyme and rhythm were perfect for this piece. You met the requirements of the sonnet perfectly. Thank you for sharing. ~Brenda
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Your poem is so deep I had to read it twice to review it. Your rhyme and rhythm were perfect for this piece. You met the requirements of the sonnet perfectly. Thank you for sharing. ~Brenda
Comment Written 25-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Many thanks for your kind remarks, Brenda. Appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
A splendid sonnet for the contest or simply for a book,
with all the attribute of a fine Shakespearean sonnet.
Marvelous imagery, the rhymes are exact and the Volta turn is very good.
The meter is outstanding, though the couplet does make me pause.
This should fair very well in the contest.
Best wishes to all
Stay safe.
Robert
PS I've written one with a similar theme, though without allusion to drugs.
I'll be posting in December.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Hello Tony,
A splendid sonnet for the contest or simply for a book,
with all the attribute of a fine Shakespearean sonnet.
Marvelous imagery, the rhymes are exact and the Volta turn is very good.
The meter is outstanding, though the couplet does make me pause.
This should fair very well in the contest.
Best wishes to all
Stay safe.
Robert
PS I've written one with a similar theme, though without allusion to drugs.
I'll be posting in December.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Thanks, Robert, for your splendid review and stunning collection of stars. A real knockout!
I?ll look forward to reading yours in due course. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Shakespearean sonnet about the red poppies that are also synonym with soldiers and veterans that served and lost in wars.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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A very well-written Shakespearean sonnet about the red poppies that are also synonym with soldiers and veterans that served and lost in wars.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Thanks very much for your review and comments, Sandra. Appreciated. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
I am not a poet. I am not even a student of English. But I loved the language and learned it as I grew up. I had to read it twice to get the hang of the style and the meanings of some words. There is emotion in the sonnet and much about it symbolic. A learning new experience for me.Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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I am not a poet. I am not even a student of English. But I loved the language and learned it as I grew up. I had to read it twice to get the hang of the style and the meanings of some words. There is emotion in the sonnet and much about it symbolic. A learning new experience for me.Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 25-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Thank you, Seshadri. I appreciate your review. Kind regards, Tony
Comment from BethShelby
This is a lovely sonnet written in Shakespearean style. You have an interesting way of putting thoughts together. It seems you are drifting in your mind into the past remembering the way things were. I assume the cap and gown are a memory, in the second verse area part of memory. The girl, you remember in the third verse. I guess the shit-wrecked in the couplet is intentional. I laughed. The couplet gives the idea that even now you life could be saved if you could again see her smile.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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This is a lovely sonnet written in Shakespearean style. You have an interesting way of putting thoughts together. It seems you are drifting in your mind into the past remembering the way things were. I assume the cap and gown are a memory, in the second verse area part of memory. The girl, you remember in the third verse. I guess the shit-wrecked in the couplet is intentional. I laughed. The couplet gives the idea that even now you life could be saved if you could again see her smile.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Thanks for the review, Beth, and for your summary. Spot on! Fortunately, this isn't autobiographical. Best wishes, Tony
