Me and You - 40+ years of Poems V2
Viewing comments for Chapter 65 "Life's Rolling River"Life, Love, Pain, Regrets, Struggles, Blessings
3 total reviews
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Beautifully imagery in your offering here! ;) You have a strong aabb rhyme scheme throughout although it is difficult to find a rhythm or flow from beginning to end as there is not a consistency in the 'beats' or 'melody' within or between stanzas. It was also a bit difficult to discern the meaning of the capitalization of many words that would usually not be capitalized... And, yes! Prayers will calm all the turbulent waters! ;) thanx for sharing! ;)
in it's streams who feel their --> in its streams who feel their
Does yours flow --> Is your flow
smoothly calmly easing and not --> smoothly, calmly easing and not
emotions our World --> emotions, our World
through freezing us till --> through, freezing us till
together Yearns, --> together Yearn,
stumbling jagged rocks roll breaking off sharp edges as it Churns. --> stumbling, jagged rocks roll, breaking off sharp edges as they Churn.
Wadding through waters --> Wading through waters
Forgiveness calms All --> Forgiveness calm All
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
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Beautifully imagery in your offering here! ;) You have a strong aabb rhyme scheme throughout although it is difficult to find a rhythm or flow from beginning to end as there is not a consistency in the 'beats' or 'melody' within or between stanzas. It was also a bit difficult to discern the meaning of the capitalization of many words that would usually not be capitalized... And, yes! Prayers will calm all the turbulent waters! ;) thanx for sharing! ;)
in it's streams who feel their --> in its streams who feel their
Does yours flow --> Is your flow
smoothly calmly easing and not --> smoothly, calmly easing and not
emotions our World --> emotions, our World
through freezing us till --> through, freezing us till
together Yearns, --> together Yearn,
stumbling jagged rocks roll breaking off sharp edges as it Churns. --> stumbling, jagged rocks roll, breaking off sharp edges as they Churn.
Wadding through waters --> Wading through waters
Forgiveness calms All --> Forgiveness calm All
Comment Written 20-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
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Hello and thank you for Reading, Reviewing and Your Welcomed assistance. I do have some questions if you don't mind - It's streams is meant as the many stream or pathway men go. Next line is a question to the reader- does yours? Forgiveness calms All - trying to denote I've experienced Forgiveness for a few.
I'll revise the commas you noted and I Thank you for Sharing your Knowledge and Experience with me. 🙏🏾
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"It's" is ONLY a contraction for 'It is'... when you use "It's" be sure you can replace it with 'It is' and have the sentence/phrase still make sense. The possessive form of "It" is "Its" with no apostrophe.
The phrase to which your second question applies is:
"Prayers to our Lord Jesus Christ for Forgiveness calms All of These"
which when read to follow the previous sentence would seem to state: 'prayers...calm all' with both prepositional phrases of "to our Lord Jesus Christ" and "for Forgiveness" modifying the noun 'prayers'.
Have a wonderful evening! ;) :) :
Comment from Anne Johnston
You have really said a lot in this poem. Life is like a river, and it is not enough just to go with the flow, but it requires striving. I like how you end your poem - with the Lord Jesus Christ guiding us, we will make it through the roughest waters.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
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You have really said a lot in this poem. Life is like a river, and it is not enough just to go with the flow, but it requires striving. I like how you end your poem - with the Lord Jesus Christ guiding us, we will make it through the roughest waters.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
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God Bless and Thank you for the Time to Read, Rate and Review this poem offering.
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You are welcome
Comment from Deorre Leonard
Life Rolling River. I could feel the emotions jumping off the page, great flow of words very well put together. The picture definitely adds to the poem. very expressive and well written.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
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Life Rolling River. I could feel the emotions jumping off the page, great flow of words very well put together. The picture definitely adds to the poem. very expressive and well written.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
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Thank you for your Time to Read, Rate and Review this poem offering,. Blessings to you.
