The Twelve Days of Chaos
Can't catch a break27 total reviews
Comment from Chrissy710
Hi Boogie Nights
Ha ha this made me laugh outloud Well constructed clever and a fun take off of the 12 days of Xmas
Congrats on you win
Happy New Year
Cheers Christine
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2020
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Hi Boogie Nights
Ha ha this made me laugh outloud Well constructed clever and a fun take off of the 12 days of Xmas
Congrats on you win
Happy New Year
Cheers Christine
Comment Written 31-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2020
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Thank you for this excellent review and those shining stars...it really means a lot to me. Please have a fantastic new year. :)
Comment from Patricia Cammish
Hi
This is a good idea but because everyone is so familiar with the original readers will expect a parody to follow exactly the same metre.
eg FIVE UNPAID BILLS ( four beats) to correspond to FIVE GO-OLD RINGS.
you have FIVE OVERDUE BILLS (five beats)
Your first line has an extra beat which could be amended to 'a pink slip to hang in our tree. Other lines could also be easily modified.
I don't understand the 'pink slip'. Is it a pay slip or something to do with being fired or are you a cross dresser?
Joking apart. This poem has potential.
Hope you find my comments useful
Good luck
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2020
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Hi
This is a good idea but because everyone is so familiar with the original readers will expect a parody to follow exactly the same metre.
eg FIVE UNPAID BILLS ( four beats) to correspond to FIVE GO-OLD RINGS.
you have FIVE OVERDUE BILLS (five beats)
Your first line has an extra beat which could be amended to 'a pink slip to hang in our tree. Other lines could also be easily modified.
I don't understand the 'pink slip'. Is it a pay slip or something to do with being fired or are you a cross dresser?
Joking apart. This poem has potential.
Hope you find my comments useful
Good luck
Comment Written 28-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2020
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A pink slip is what they call a notice of being fired from a job. Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Ben B.
Worst. Christmas. Ever. The liberties you took with the font were great. You may want to post a warning for language on this poem. And if you really want a parody of the song you should find a way to throw the twelve numbers in there. Otherwise it doesn't sound right.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2020
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Worst. Christmas. Ever. The liberties you took with the font were great. You may want to post a warning for language on this poem. And if you really want a parody of the song you should find a way to throw the twelve numbers in there. Otherwise it doesn't sound right.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2020
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Thank you for reviewing. :)
Comment from equestrik
This sounds like a very rough holiday! Good picture choice to go with your writing and your writing surely expresses your parody well. Best to you this holiday season.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2020
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This sounds like a very rough holiday! Good picture choice to go with your writing and your writing surely expresses your parody well. Best to you this holiday season.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2020
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Thank you, it was fun to write. Have a very happy new year. :)
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Same to you!
Comment from RetroStarfish
Wow. This is awesome. Great parody and a narrative arc too! Nice nod to National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, but you've made this your own and rocked it.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2020
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Wow. This is awesome. Great parody and a narrative arc too! Nice nod to National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, but you've made this your own and rocked it.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2020
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Thank you for this great review, I really appreciate it. Have a happy new year. :)
Comment from Wendy G
Top marks for creativity (almost top, anyway!) A very good humoured piece of writing with disasters multiplying. I wish you every success in the coming contest.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2020
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Top marks for creativity (almost top, anyway!) A very good humoured piece of writing with disasters multiplying. I wish you every success in the coming contest.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2020
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Thank you for this nice review and your kind words. Have a very happy and safe new year. :)
Comment from A. Willow Bends
Wow! You really worked on this one! Great job. Funny and I am sincerely hoping that NONE of it is true for your sake. BUT . . . life does throw us those curveballs, right? Creative, humorous. Hilarious!
Great job!
Wendy
A. Willow Bends
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2020
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Wow! You really worked on this one! Great job. Funny and I am sincerely hoping that NONE of it is true for your sake. BUT . . . life does throw us those curveballs, right? Creative, humorous. Hilarious!
Great job!
Wendy
A. Willow Bends
Comment Written 26-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2020
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Thank you for reading my poem and for this great review. :)
Comment from sammielwf
Dear 12 Days of Chaos creator who is obviously in need of :
money for sons bail...
a pot to stew those squirrels..
a better divorce lawyer than your soon to be ex's..
a pooper scooper with a warm and loving essence..
a pair of scissors to cut that damn pink slip down..
a fire red harley davidson..
a tree house or other living arrangement..
A letter to congress to get relief funding...
Oh you poor dear....
I think you ought to write another song just to give you hope....
How about....
All I want for Christmas is anything but what I already got!
Sorry I am no help!
But I meant well.
Sammielwf
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2020
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Dear 12 Days of Chaos creator who is obviously in need of :
money for sons bail...
a pot to stew those squirrels..
a better divorce lawyer than your soon to be ex's..
a pooper scooper with a warm and loving essence..
a pair of scissors to cut that damn pink slip down..
a fire red harley davidson..
a tree house or other living arrangement..
A letter to congress to get relief funding...
Oh you poor dear....
I think you ought to write another song just to give you hope....
How about....
All I want for Christmas is anything but what I already got!
Sorry I am no help!
But I meant well.
Sammielwf
Comment Written 25-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2020
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You are a genius! Those solutions would definitely improve the situation. Lol. Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day. :)
Comment from Sugarray77
Hahaha... what a funny take on this prompt. Great job on the clever combinations and examples you use in this poem. Well done and I wish you a lot of luck in the contest. :).
Melissa.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2020
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Hahaha... what a funny take on this prompt. Great job on the clever combinations and examples you use in this poem. Well done and I wish you a lot of luck in the contest. :).
Melissa.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2020
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Thank you for reading. I hope you and your family are having a wonderful holiday. :)
Comment from humpwhistle
The only thing going in this guy's favor is the fact that there are only twelve days of Christmas. This is tale worthy of Job.
Well done. In the third verse, you might have an errant 'have'.
Best of luck at the polls.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2020
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The only thing going in this guy's favor is the fact that there are only twelve days of Christmas. This is tale worthy of Job.
Well done. In the third verse, you might have an errant 'have'.
Best of luck at the polls.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 25-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2020
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Thanks for pointing that out..I removed it. Hope you're having a happy holiday. :)
