Ever Spain
End of the Spanish Civil War on the eve of WWII25 total reviews
Comment from w.j.debi
You set the scene and build the tension well. The emotions of the main character and his comrades are clear. Who can you trust? Should you trust anyone? Excellent storytelling.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
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You set the scene and build the tension well. The emotions of the main character and his comrades are clear. Who can you trust? Should you trust anyone? Excellent storytelling.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
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Lady w/j/debi:
Your attention to this bit of whimsy is appreciated, as is the stellar affirmation. If a story can steal a bit of reality away for moment, I am pleased.
Live long and write well,
Fantasist
Comment from estory
I thought you captured the sense of tension well here, there was great perspective in the writing, and undercurrents of roiling emotion in the voices. We get a clear vision of these men trying to escape to France undercover, while being watched by the Vichy French guards and the danger is always in the air that they will be shipped off to Germany and the fascists. I thought the dialogue was really realistic and the desperation of the imprisoned men comes through in the voices. A really interesting historical piece that demonstrates the determination of people in the face of adversity.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
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I thought you captured the sense of tension well here, there was great perspective in the writing, and undercurrents of roiling emotion in the voices. We get a clear vision of these men trying to escape to France undercover, while being watched by the Vichy French guards and the danger is always in the air that they will be shipped off to Germany and the fascists. I thought the dialogue was really realistic and the desperation of the imprisoned men comes through in the voices. A really interesting historical piece that demonstrates the determination of people in the face of adversity.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
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Master estory:
I thank you for your interest. Your comments are noted and I thank you for those, too. If this bit of whimsy stole away reality for a moment, I am pleased. The stellar affirmation is noted and deeply appreciated.
Live long and write well,
Fantasist
Comment from Alli Johnston
I love the story you created from the prompt. Beautiful, well written, and historically significant. This story was immersive and compelling. Thank you for writing this piece
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
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I love the story you created from the prompt. Beautiful, well written, and historically significant. This story was immersive and compelling. Thank you for writing this piece
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
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Lady Alli Johnston: If this bit of whimsy stole you away from some nonsense, I am pleased. Thank you for your gracious comments and stellar affirmation.
Live long and write well,
Fantasist
Comment from Goodadvicechan
The author is a good story teller. The story is easily followed. There many emotions in this story. There were strong will of the refugees, personal depressed emotions, forced decisions with no choice...
It is a good story to read although it can be emotional motivated. Good writing.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
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The author is a good story teller. The story is easily followed. There many emotions in this story. There were strong will of the refugees, personal depressed emotions, forced decisions with no choice...
It is a good story to read although it can be emotional motivated. Good writing.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
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Master Goodadvicechan:
Whee! A psych evaluation, too! Seriously, I appreciate your attention to this bit of whimsy and the stellar affirmation. I am always impressed by the facility of the ESL writers who honor us at this URL. I discover new worlds of tales by these individuals who comment on my postings.
Live long and write well,
Fantasist
Comment from Leann DS
This is a great story that I enjoyed reading. Lots of detail and I could imagine being there with them. The only thing I would change is to add more non-dialogue detail into the dialogue. To me, this would make it easier to follow and bring more realism to that part. Just a suggestion though... Well done!
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2021
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This is a great story that I enjoyed reading. Lots of detail and I could imagine being there with them. The only thing I would change is to add more non-dialogue detail into the dialogue. To me, this would make it easier to follow and bring more realism to that part. Just a suggestion though... Well done!
Comment Written 06-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2021
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Lady Leann DS: I appreciate your interest in commenting on this bit of whimsy. The stellar affirmation is deeply appreciated and I thank you for that.
Livelong and write well,
Fantasist
Comment from Wendy G
Thank you for sharing this interesting story, which is surely non-fiction, as it is remembered with such clear detail. I feel it is part of a much bigger story! Good wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2021
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Thank you for sharing this interesting story, which is surely non-fiction, as it is remembered with such clear detail. I feel it is part of a much bigger story! Good wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2021
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Lady Wendy Gordon: Thank you for your gracious comment and stellar affirmation, Fantasist
Comment from Iza Deleanu
It's funny how people did not always become allies in the face of a common enemy: "We were betrayed by a herder that saw and reported us. We were disarmed, arrested, and beaten by the border guards. "Why are you here? Go back," they shouted as they struck at us.
". The only thing left to do is each man for himself. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2021
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It's funny how people did not always become allies in the face of a common enemy: "We were betrayed by a herder that saw and reported us. We were disarmed, arrested, and beaten by the border guards. "Why are you here? Go back," they shouted as they struck at us.
". The only thing left to do is each man for himself. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2021
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Iza Deleanu: There were extreme politics involved. The democracies had embargoed any arms shipments to the popular elected government of Spain. That did not stop Italy and Germany from pouring troops and equipment in support of Franco. England and France were afraid of war and working through the depression years. France was overwhelmed with the refugees. Most were repatriated, that is forcibly deported back to Spain. The men were used as slave labor rebuilding the cities and executed when the work was done. After France fell in 1940 any Spanish fighters still in France were transferred to the German Matthausen death camp.
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Thank you for sharing all this information
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You're quite welcome. A story can be more interesting when it is fact-based rather than blarney even if that is fiction, too!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Very well written. Grabs the reader and kept me reading. You are a very competent writer and I couldn't find even a little misspelling. It is harder to critic something so well written as I can say nothing but Bravo! you did good.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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Very well written. Grabs the reader and kept me reading. You are a very competent writer and I couldn't find even a little misspelling. It is harder to critic something so well written as I can say nothing but Bravo! you did good.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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Lady Carol Hillebrenner:
Ah shucks! Would it make your day if I went back and doodled some graffiti?
Seriously, I do thank you for your kind attention to this bit of whimsy and the stellar affirmation. Gracious, you're up early!
Fantasist
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
ALLEZW2:
I was very intrigued by this story right from the beginning. Are you
considering expanding it? I would love to read more about the
group that planned to escape - who made it, who didn't, what they
did with their lives once they were free...
Good luck in the contest.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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ALLEZW2:
I was very intrigued by this story right from the beginning. Are you
considering expanding it? I would love to read more about the
group that planned to escape - who made it, who didn't, what they
did with their lives once they were free...
Good luck in the contest.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 05-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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Rdfrdmom2: Your attention and gracious affirmation are deeply appreciated. Expand? Strictly as an FYI only, the principal character is part of a series of bits and pieces I have assembled over the years. A later account is his being parachuted into France immediately before D-Day to coordinate resistance forces. "The Pathfinders" in my portfolio picks up at that exploit. The entirety is intended as a biography from 1910. It follows his appointment as an instructor in electrical engineering at the University of California - Berkley and involvement in the furor over the onset of the Spanish Civil War. There is a timeline from the war in Spain, mainly a backdrop to his involvement with the OSS in WWII and later transfer to the CIA before his retirement from the service after Vietnam. The intent was to assemble them into a novel, maybe. Fantasist
Comment from Ben B.
The story is good for the most part, but I've noticed you threw a lot Spanish for realistic effect. It does help with the illusion of being there but some readers might get frustrated not understanding what the speaker is saying.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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The story is good for the most part, but I've noticed you threw a lot Spanish for realistic effect. It does help with the illusion of being there but some readers might get frustrated not understanding what the speaker is saying.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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Master Ben B.: Your comments and affirmation are appreciated and well taken. Fantasist
