Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Betrayal Chapter 16"In the title.
44 total reviews
Comment from Begin Again
knock his block off his shoulders, girlfriend. He needs his comeuppance. Hope she has a good swing though or he's coming back after her for sure.
Smiles!
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knock his block off his shoulders, girlfriend. He needs his comeuppance. Hope she has a good swing though or he's coming back after her for sure.
Smiles!
Comment Written 13-Mar-2021
Comment from DSchlosser
Managed to get some time and read again. This was a nice exciting chapter to see what Tania was going to do. I think if I was her, I would have gone to the bathroom on the floor next to the door to catch Colin's attention once he enters the room. Stepping in dog poop automatically draws someone's attention, so why not human poo.
No errors that I saw reading through the chapter.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2021
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Managed to get some time and read again. This was a nice exciting chapter to see what Tania was going to do. I think if I was her, I would have gone to the bathroom on the floor next to the door to catch Colin's attention once he enters the room. Stepping in dog poop automatically draws someone's attention, so why not human poo.
No errors that I saw reading through the chapter.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2021
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LOL!! David, that is disgusting! Lol. Thank you so much for reading this part and for giving me a giggle. I'd worked hard on that part in case the readers thought it shouldn't put in, now I know I should have gone further. Lol. Thanks, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I am thinking that the table leg is a good defense weapon but what will she do if she loses her grip....this man is out to get her blueprints and then make her the thief; he will be ever so mean....
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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I am thinking that the table leg is a good defense weapon but what will she do if she loses her grip....this man is out to get her blueprints and then make her the thief; he will be ever so mean....
Comment Written 27-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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Thank you again, Rosemary. Yes, you're right, he's not a nice man! :)) xxx
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Sandra,
Good continuation of the story once again showing Tania's plight and exhilaration for small victories.
Surely he knows there's no internet. Did you forget that, Colin? Or are you even more stupid than I thought?' - surely he doesn't need the internet. The files are secured on her laptop. I think tis is redundant, it makes her seem a bit dull. Of course, he may also have a dongle with him which would give him adequate internet if necessary. Tania's an intelligent woman so this seemed out of character, although you could put it down to her situation, dehydration and the results/after-effects of being drugged.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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Hi Sandra,
Good continuation of the story once again showing Tania's plight and exhilaration for small victories.
Surely he knows there's no internet. Did you forget that, Colin? Or are you even more stupid than I thought?' - surely he doesn't need the internet. The files are secured on her laptop. I think tis is redundant, it makes her seem a bit dull. Of course, he may also have a dongle with him which would give him adequate internet if necessary. Tania's an intelligent woman so this seemed out of character, although you could put it down to her situation, dehydration and the results/after-effects of being drugged.
All the best
G
Comment Written 25-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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Hi Gareth.
You raised a good point about the internet. Of course he wouldn't need the internet to get into her folders, he just needs her passwords. I often work without logging on. I think all that has happened to Tania is causing me to have mental blackouts! Lol.
I've completely changed that part now. Thank you so very much for that.
Warm hugs, my friend.:)) Sandra xx
Comment from l.raven
Hi Sandra, Oh Lord...fleas, nits, rats...I don't
even have the shingles...and I'm starting to itch...
Well I'm glad to see Grant is doing something now...
about time...and I love his friends...but I love gangsters...such men of authority...sigh...
now on to Tania...I'm so glad she found a weapon...
but what if he doesn't show back up soon???...she needs to start digging her way out...pick that table up and ram it at that door...start working her way out...heigh-hooooo...
I know she has a little headache...but if she can try to break the door down with her shoulders...certainly a table would be a better option...just a thought...don't you think sweet girl???...
Now Grant and his handsome gangster friends can't just go up and grab this guy...their going to have to follow him...or he can say...I don't know nothing...so lets see how it works for them...
ask your muse if either one of them are married???...it's
starting to get warm in this house...
well my wonderful amazing friend...another home run...
an awesome chapter...each one get better than the next...
if that's even possible...I love the story told...but it's driving me crazy reading one chapter at a time...I'm getting ready to go start reading from the beginning...so I don't have to stop...I love it you...you just want to skip lines...to find out what's going on...but then...you miss all the good stuff leading up to what your looking for...a true attention holder...love you in bunches my talented friend...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2021
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Hi Sandra, Oh Lord...fleas, nits, rats...I don't
even have the shingles...and I'm starting to itch...
Well I'm glad to see Grant is doing something now...
about time...and I love his friends...but I love gangsters...such men of authority...sigh...
now on to Tania...I'm so glad she found a weapon...
but what if he doesn't show back up soon???...she needs to start digging her way out...pick that table up and ram it at that door...start working her way out...heigh-hooooo...
I know she has a little headache...but if she can try to break the door down with her shoulders...certainly a table would be a better option...just a thought...don't you think sweet girl???...
Now Grant and his handsome gangster friends can't just go up and grab this guy...their going to have to follow him...or he can say...I don't know nothing...so lets see how it works for them...
ask your muse if either one of them are married???...it's
starting to get warm in this house...
well my wonderful amazing friend...another home run...
an awesome chapter...each one get better than the next...
if that's even possible...I love the story told...but it's driving me crazy reading one chapter at a time...I'm getting ready to go start reading from the beginning...so I don't have to stop...I love it you...you just want to skip lines...to find out what's going on...but then...you miss all the good stuff leading up to what your looking for...a true attention holder...love you in bunches my talented friend...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 14-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2021
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Have you been peeping into my next part???? LOL, I'll not tell you which, but some of what you mentioned here, is going to happen. But, there are more surprises coming later.
You should spend a moment in my skin, it's driving me bonkers. Pain around my waist, and than away from the rash, it's itching, and I can't scratch because that would be excruciating!!!! What have I done so wrong to deserve this?? :( Actually the pain killers are working and it's only at night it's unbearable now.
I'm charging ahead now with my chapters so I might be posting two a week. I'm not bothered about the rankings now, I'm just going to enjoy my writing. Though, I have to warn you, there will be a warning about some violence in the next part.
Thank you so much for the sixth pretty star, my dear friend, and another of your delightful, wonderful reviews. Love you bouquets, (bit bigger than bunches!!! LOL) Loads of hugs. Sandra xxxxxx
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OK...bring them on...
I'm so sorry your having all that pain...
I hope it doesn't last much longer...
but I guess it would be different for everyone...sigh...
I'll be looking for your chapters to come out...going to eat some breakfast...take care and lots of rest...love you in bunches of bouquets...sooooooooo many virtual hugs back at you...LOL...xxoo
Comment from dmt1967
(All Monica could do was nod, she had no other option but to trust him. ) This is very telling. In my opinion, it needs to be shown. (Monica sighed, heavily. She didn't have ant other option but to trust him.)
'Anything?' he asked as he dropped down beside Carl(. He noted, ruefully, it was the same spot Monica had unsuccessfully hidden behind, and her blanket they were laying on.) This, in my opinion, is very clumsy. (as he dropped onto Monica's blanket.) In my opinion, this is short and sweet and all the reader needs to know unless that specific hiding place is super important for the rest of the book.
(She knew her eye was swollen, and from the power he'd put behind his hand when he'd smacked her around the face, she knew that must be bruised. ) Again, in my opinion, super telling. (She put her fingertips up to her face and winced as they touched her swollen eyes and bruised cheekbone.)
I will read this chapter again, when I read the book in order.
I hope this helps and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2021
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(All Monica could do was nod, she had no other option but to trust him. ) This is very telling. In my opinion, it needs to be shown. (Monica sighed, heavily. She didn't have ant other option but to trust him.)
'Anything?' he asked as he dropped down beside Carl(. He noted, ruefully, it was the same spot Monica had unsuccessfully hidden behind, and her blanket they were laying on.) This, in my opinion, is very clumsy. (as he dropped onto Monica's blanket.) In my opinion, this is short and sweet and all the reader needs to know unless that specific hiding place is super important for the rest of the book.
(She knew her eye was swollen, and from the power he'd put behind his hand when he'd smacked her around the face, she knew that must be bruised. ) Again, in my opinion, super telling. (She put her fingertips up to her face and winced as they touched her swollen eyes and bruised cheekbone.)
I will read this chapter again, when I read the book in order.
I hope this helps and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2021
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Hi, thank you so much! That was agreat review and I'm definitely going to use the suggestions you offered. :)) If you are going through my book, you needn't review each one, but if you do find anywhere I can improve, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks for this one! Have a lovely day. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello Sandra, another good chapter, centred mainly on Tania. Apart from being a bit battered and bashed about she remains remarkably buoyant. That is, apart from thinking she hears scratching, and she also worries about fleas in the mattress, Ugh! Good idea about the laptop being left as a plant to tempt her to have a go at getting in touch with Monica. I hope she is never put to the test with the table leg - I think Colin would soon relieve her of that -and that is where you keep us hanging. As usual on a cliff. LOL! Well done - no nits that I detected - keep cracking on. Love Dorothy xxx
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2021
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Hello Sandra, another good chapter, centred mainly on Tania. Apart from being a bit battered and bashed about she remains remarkably buoyant. That is, apart from thinking she hears scratching, and she also worries about fleas in the mattress, Ugh! Good idea about the laptop being left as a plant to tempt her to have a go at getting in touch with Monica. I hope she is never put to the test with the table leg - I think Colin would soon relieve her of that -and that is where you keep us hanging. As usual on a cliff. LOL! Well done - no nits that I detected - keep cracking on. Love Dorothy xxx
Comment Written 13-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much, Dorothy, for reading this part and the lovely review you've given me. Sorry it's taken me so long to reply, my shingles only allows me to sit for a few minutes at a time, and I find it difficult to concentrate. Thankfully, I have the next 6 chapters all ready to go. The table leg is used in the next part. :((
Thanks again, my friend. Lots of love, Sandra xx
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Oh Sandra, I should have read your author notes more thoroughly, but with no nits I must have skipped it. Shingles can be very painful, and takes time to clear. There is a link with stress as well a the virus. Take care and relax, perhaps you are overdoing it. You certainly work hard. Thinking of you - love Dorothy xxx
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I was told about the link with stress. Apart from the virus and not being able to give my grandchildren a hug, I don't have any other stress. Perhaps that is it, I'm missing my hugs! lol. Thanks, my friend. xxx
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Poor Tania got captured. It must be Colin who wants the laptop. She is a strong woman and I hope she can find her way out. No internet so the computer is useless. Then she found a table's leg. She is ready to face Colin.
I like you use different font for her internal thought.
Well done.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Poor Tania got captured. It must be Colin who wants the laptop. She is a strong woman and I hope she can find her way out. No internet so the computer is useless. Then she found a table's leg. She is ready to face Colin.
I like you use different font for her internal thought.
Well done.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Thank you for reading this part, Lisa, and the lovely review. I'm so glad you like the different fonts for her thoughts. Have a wonderful day, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Sumpta
I enjoyed reading this chapter of your book. You have written so well Sandra, I love the descriptions a lot, and just imagined the characters as I read through.
All the best and Remain Blessed.
...Assumpta.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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I enjoyed reading this chapter of your book. You have written so well Sandra, I love the descriptions a lot, and just imagined the characters as I read through.
All the best and Remain Blessed.
...Assumpta.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Thank you so very much for your lovely review, Assumpta, I really appreciate your encouraging words. Have a wonderful day, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from rspoet
Hello Sandra,
Another excellent chapter setting the scene and extent of Tania's dilemma.
I like the fear element with the rats and fleas, that should creep out some readers. :)
It's good she has a weapon in the table leg too, but I don't really think it will of much use again Colin unless she can surprise him somehow.
It sounds like Reg and Carl have a bit of experience in the spy business.
All in all, a good setup for the next chapter.
One little note on the last line of the preceding chapter:
I don't think Jeff would "slam" the door, since they are on a spying mission
trying to blend in and not be noticed. Perhaps "carefully shut."
Best wishes, my friend.
Robert
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Hello Sandra,
Another excellent chapter setting the scene and extent of Tania's dilemma.
I like the fear element with the rats and fleas, that should creep out some readers. :)
It's good she has a weapon in the table leg too, but I don't really think it will of much use again Colin unless she can surprise him somehow.
It sounds like Reg and Carl have a bit of experience in the spy business.
All in all, a good setup for the next chapter.
One little note on the last line of the preceding chapter:
I don't think Jeff would "slam" the door, since they are on a spying mission
trying to blend in and not be noticed. Perhaps "carefully shut."
Best wishes, my friend.
Robert
Comment Written 12-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much, Robert, for the lovely six stars. What I like about your review is where you say it's a good setup for the next chapter. Rats, snakes and spiders are my phobias. Fleas I've never come across, and don't want to! lol
I've changed that last line, and it now reads as below....
Jeff nodded, already getting out the car. ?I?ll be over the road. Nice to meet you, Ma?am.? With a smile, he quietly closed the door and watched as the car drove off...
Thank you for another lovely review, my friend. Have a good day, take care and stay safe. :)) Sandra xx
