Don't play on the Ice
Laugh and laugh often you will feel better!27 total reviews
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Don't play on the Ice', is a well-written and entertaining piece. Penned with craft and skill. It was a pleasure to both read and review this talented poet's work. Good luck with the contest!
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2021
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'Don't play on the Ice', is a well-written and entertaining piece. Penned with craft and skill. It was a pleasure to both read and review this talented poet's work. Good luck with the contest!
Comment Written 13-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2021
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Duchess thank you!
Comment from DonandVicki
You have a fantastic use of sound in this poem, It is not in my opinion a tongue twister but through the use of simple words make this memorable. Don and Vicki.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2021
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You have a fantastic use of sound in this poem, It is not in my opinion a tongue twister but through the use of simple words make this memorable. Don and Vicki.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2021
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Don and Vicki, thank you!
Comment from Susan Larson
What a dangerous liking scene. I remember as a teen ice slaking on Lake Erie around the bundled up ice fishermen and watching to see if any of them ever caught anything. Sure looks that that ice would be hard to break through! Cute poem!
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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What a dangerous liking scene. I remember as a teen ice slaking on Lake Erie around the bundled up ice fishermen and watching to see if any of them ever caught anything. Sure looks that that ice would be hard to break through! Cute poem!
Comment Written 13-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Thank you!
Comment from Teri7
This is a very cute and very well written humorous 5-7-5 you have penned for the writing prompt. You used very good descriptive words and very neat imagery that went well with your words. Best wishes in the contest. love, Teri
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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This is a very cute and very well written humorous 5-7-5 you have penned for the writing prompt. You used very good descriptive words and very neat imagery that went well with your words. Best wishes in the contest. love, Teri
Comment Written 13-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Thank you!
Comment from joycetreasures
Hello,
I totally agree with your humorous 5/7/5 poem message, "Don't play on the ice." Also, I agree with your notes "Laugh and laugh often you will feel better!" We do need more humor and laughter in our world today. There's so much sadness, and pessimistic feelings in our world today by adults and children. Today, people are so unhappy about our world's chaos and the spread of covid-19. But, who wants to play on the ice possibly to lose their life? You poem said two of the three fell through the ice. Really? Funny? Maybe? I hope those three frump peasants learned their lesson. Stay off the ice. Fish elsewhere. Nicely written and great artwork.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Hello,
I totally agree with your humorous 5/7/5 poem message, "Don't play on the ice." Also, I agree with your notes "Laugh and laugh often you will feel better!" We do need more humor and laughter in our world today. There's so much sadness, and pessimistic feelings in our world today by adults and children. Today, people are so unhappy about our world's chaos and the spread of covid-19. But, who wants to play on the ice possibly to lose their life? You poem said two of the three fell through the ice. Really? Funny? Maybe? I hope those three frump peasants learned their lesson. Stay off the ice. Fish elsewhere. Nicely written and great artwork.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Smiling back, Joyce, Thank you!
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You are welcome:-)
Comment from Alli Johnston
This was a humorous poem and the word "frumpy" fits perfectly here! The first line sets the tone immediately for the rest of the poem and I think has a good chance in the contest. Good luck
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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This was a humorous poem and the word "frumpy" fits perfectly here! The first line sets the tone immediately for the rest of the poem and I think has a good chance in the contest. Good luck
Comment Written 13-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Smiling back, Alli, Thank you!
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I am a perfectionist, and I like rhymes, so to me it is a shame that there is no end-line ice rhyme on the first line. Having said that, you have created a rich story in only 17 syllables, with good description.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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I am a perfectionist, and I like rhymes, so to me it is a shame that there is no end-line ice rhyme on the first line. Having said that, you have created a rich story in only 17 syllables, with good description.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Smiling back, Katherine, Thank you!
Comment from DSchlosser
I would not envy those two peasants. I bet the catch that day was only by the one frumpy fisher that had to pull them both back on land. It's not a bad poem. I'd love to see a photo of a few grumpy old men fishing out of their shacks or wading in water.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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I would not envy those two peasants. I bet the catch that day was only by the one frumpy fisher that had to pull them both back on land. It's not a bad poem. I'd love to see a photo of a few grumpy old men fishing out of their shacks or wading in water.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Smiling back, Thank you!
Comment from Sumpta
With my experience with the snow, I can imagine how the ice will be. Nice one dear, I enjoyed the rhyme and the flow.
All the best.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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With my experience with the snow, I can imagine how the ice will be. Nice one dear, I enjoyed the rhyme and the flow.
All the best.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Smiling back, Sumpta,
Comment from nomi338
Some breakthroughs are applauded, clearly some are not. When walking, skating running , whatever on thin ice, one should tread very lightly and make as quick an exit as possible. Do do anything else is to court disaster.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Some breakthroughs are applauded, clearly some are not. When walking, skating running , whatever on thin ice, one should tread very lightly and make as quick an exit as possible. Do do anything else is to court disaster.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Nomi, thank you! True, wisdom prevails.
