Reviews from

Private Gunther's Leave Request

Routine weekend guard duty not routine.

17 total reviews 
Comment from Alli Johnston
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Typically, war and history are not words that pique my interest. I've scrolled past this a few times and finally decided to give it a read. I am kicking myself for not reading it sooner! This is such an interesting story and you told it beautifully. It kept my interest the entire time and never confused me (as sometimes the language of military writers does!). I really enjoyed this and you are a BADASS

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021
    I?m humbled by your kindness. Thank you for your message and review. Also I very much appreciate the six stars rating.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yup, quite a tragic story when panic takes over and makes you commit a silly thing that causes a bigger incident. I don't know why, but soldiers everywhere in the world seems to go crazy at the weekend. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021
    Thank you for your review
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow! What an amazing story! You were very brave, efficient and level-headed, and you averted a potentially serious tragedy from occurring. I am so sorry that you were put in the position of having to make such a hard choice, but the young man's criminal conduct really left you no alternative. You really deserve some kind of medal for bravery, even though you were facing an internal conflict, not an enemy combatant -- yet the danger was certainly just as real. I hope that young man eventually got some psychological counseling, because his decisions showed indications that he was mentally unstable.

I recommend the following revisions and corrections, which you, as the author, are free to accept or reject:

On a day-to-day basis I was Executive Officer (XO) or second in command... [I recommend a paragraph break at the beginning of that sentence.]

Well, I trained an entire company of cooks. Nearly 200 of them.
-->
Well, I trained an entire company of cooks -- nearly 200 of them.

...and neither the SGM or I got a chance to get very much sleep at all.
-->
...and neither the SGM nor I got a chance to get very much sleep at all.

He said he just want to see if he could do it.
-->
He said he just wanted to see if he could do it.

I began wondering how long had I actually been asleep.
-->
I began wondering how long I had actually been asleep.

Private Gunther had never had any serious conduct problems until two weekends ago when on leave and he didn't return on time and was Absent Without Leave (AWOL).
-->
Private Gunther had never had any serious conduct problems until two weekends ago when on leave, and he didn't return on time and was Absent Without Leave (AWOL).

I then departed to return to Battalion staff HQ to write the lengthy and detail military complaint report ...
-->
I then departed to return to Battalion staff HQ to write the lengthy and detailed military complaint report ...

***

It looks as though you may have an image with your story, but for some reason, it's not visible to me. I'll try reloading the page.
Your story is really perfect for the "Life, Death and Leadership" Contest.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021
    Thanks for the helpful edits. I fixed the artwork photo of that young 22 year old Army officer. I very much appreciated the time and effort you put into your review.
reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 18-Jan-2021
    You're very welcome, my friend. I was able to see the picture, and it looks great. Was that young 22-year-old Army officer you? Very nice photo. I hope you do very well in the contest. May God bless you. And thank you for your service. - Mary Kay
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021
    Yes, that was me almost 50 years ago.
reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 18-Jan-2021
    Looking good, Officer! :-) I'm glad you lived to tell the story.
Comment from RPSaxena
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Friend,
Private Gunther's Leave Request is a nice piece of War and History Non-Fiction having lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme wording, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and beautifully dealing with Life, Death, and Leadership incorporating funny scenes related to pranksters and also the serious ones related to the writer himself as an Army Officer.
Although Gunther meets a tragic end, yet he deserves it.
LAUDABLE Attempt!
BEST OF LUCK in the contest.

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
    Thanks for your thorough feedback. I appreciate your comments and review. I particularly appreciate the six star rating. Thank you again.
reply by RPSaxena on 19-Jan-2021
    Friend, Most Welcome!
    You REALLY deserve it, and much more.
    With best wishes,
    ~ RP
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Nice writing. Good coverage of the event. A sixty hour duty sounds even worst than my granddaughter's 12 hour shifts in the psyche ward. I did notice in the flag pole climbing incident a word missing an ending "he just want(ed) to see . . ." Best of luck with this.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
    Oops, thanks. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Jeff Watkins
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I would think that this story would be interesting to civilians because it gives them an idea of the responsibility assumed by a young man, and the young man's ability to rise to the occasion.

It also gives civilians an idea of how impulsive young men can get into serious trouble with authority and weapons.

The mechanics are excellent until toward the end: Re. Gunther. Are you..; swirled around, and (awkward as written, sir); froze, looking.

I am interested because the story gives me a glimpse of the state of morale into the Army in 1972. I was discharged as a Spec 5 on December 13, 1968. I flew from Vietnam to the states with a plane load of soldiers still covered in red dust, and they were angry and unruly.

We were all herded into a theater. Then a colonel who looked like he had been sleeping under a bridge for weeks walked to the center of the stage, faced the audience, and shouted re-up! Then he turned and walked off the stage in the midst of loud invective and lewd suggestions.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2021
    Thank you for your comments and review.
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I can totally relate to this tragic story one more than one level. I was an Air Policeman for my entire four year enlistment in the Air Force. I never participated in an incident this serious, but I had my share of dicey situations. As far as facing a loaded guns. One night as I was returning home on a street I grew up on, I was robbed at gun point by two young men, one of which I hit in response of their attempt to grab me. Unfortunately for me, he was unarmed. The other young man was holding a very large gun and he was nervously shaking as his friend kept saying: "Shoot him Gary, shoot him!" Thank God Gary ignored his buddy's request. They got a lousy $15.00 bucks. I decided that day that I had been in the neighborhood too long and I moved shortly afterward.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2021
    Thank you for your message and review
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh, that poor man, he had to live with the fact he couldn't say goodbye to his mother. I can understand his behaviour to a point, but he only made things worse. That was some story, one that I'm sure you never wanted to happen again. Did he remain in the army after his release? Well done and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2021
    He had to finish his enlistment term. Thank you for your review.
Comment from greyson ernst
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

this is really good contest entry i would have entered it if it was not a whooping 15 member dollars you won my vote and as always keep writing and stay safe

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 15-Jan-2021
    Thanks. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very well-written narrative. I didn't find an ounce of SPAG, and I was looking. May I say, you were a very mature 22 year-old. When you were giving the MPs instructions before entering the barracks, I was remarking to myself how take-charge you were. You did what had to be done to protect all those present, including the miscreant. I can only admire you for that. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 15-Jan-2021
    Thank you for your review.