An Earth in Peril
250 Word story contest entry22 total reviews
Comment from w.j.debi
You build the suspense well. All the world is in deadly peril and no one can save us. Will even an executive order make a dent in the threat we face?
You give an unexpected and surprising twist at the end. Thanks for brightening my day with this tale. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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You build the suspense well. All the world is in deadly peril and no one can save us. Will even an executive order make a dent in the threat we face?
You give an unexpected and surprising twist at the end. Thanks for brightening my day with this tale. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the great review and generous stars, Debi. That's really all I was going for, to add a touch of humor to someone's day. I appreciate the good luck wishes. I'm glad you liked this silliness. Have a great rest of your weekend.
Ron
Comment from Susan Larson
If I were the judge, I would say you win! After all the melodrama and doom and gloom, I was half expecting a surprise ending, and at the fourth paragraph I started to think, oh, no, some political commentary! But you quelled my cynicism and outdid my expectations for a surprise!
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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If I were the judge, I would say you win! After all the melodrama and doom and gloom, I was half expecting a surprise ending, and at the fourth paragraph I started to think, oh, no, some political commentary! But you quelled my cynicism and outdid my expectations for a surprise!
Comment Written 23-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Lol, yeah, I'm like that as well, "Oh no, not another political piece." Haha. Thank you for the great review and gracious stars, Susan. I'm glad my silly ending came as a surprise. Have an awesome rest of you weekend.
=]
Ron
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good image and story, Ron.
-You write it like a reporter,
giving the background and
research being done "with scientists,
realists, even creationists."
-This truly sounds like a major disaster.
-So you called upon the President, and
interestingly didn't say which one, but
I have a good guess, based on the ending.
-Loved that assessment.
-Good luck in the contest. We all better
get our entries in while we can, or
is it too late, ha, ha!
-
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2021
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-Good image and story, Ron.
-You write it like a reporter,
giving the background and
research being done "with scientists,
realists, even creationists."
-This truly sounds like a major disaster.
-So you called upon the President, and
interestingly didn't say which one, but
I have a good guess, based on the ending.
-Loved that assessment.
-Good luck in the contest. We all better
get our entries in while we can, or
is it too late, ha, ha!
-
Comment Written 23-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2021
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Lol. Thank you for the awesome review, Pam. Yeah, we better hurry. Haha. I didn't really have a particular President in mind. Just whoever was there at the time. I really appreciate the generous stars and good luck wishes, Pam. I'm glad you liked this silly piece. Have a great rest of your weekend.
=]
Ron
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You are very welcome, Ron, I did enjoy the story. You have a good rest of your weekend, too, and get those stories and poems in quick!!
Comment from Pantygynt
The ending brought a smile to my face, but you know, after six years on FanStory (which is in no danger as it is not a poetry site exclusively) I have found more evidence of the dreaded global boring amongst the prose contributions, particularly in the non-fiction area. The poetry tents to be shorter. You just cannot be bored by a 5-7-5 now can you? There isn't time.
'I only imagined that this overwhelming
reality would actually happen, that too, so many others had.' - I had difficulty sorting out the precise meaning of this sentence, and wondered if slitting it in two after happen.
'I got with scientists, realists, even creationists...' - Is my Englishness showing? I wondered what you 'got'.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2021
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The ending brought a smile to my face, but you know, after six years on FanStory (which is in no danger as it is not a poetry site exclusively) I have found more evidence of the dreaded global boring amongst the prose contributions, particularly in the non-fiction area. The poetry tents to be shorter. You just cannot be bored by a 5-7-5 now can you? There isn't time.
'I only imagined that this overwhelming
reality would actually happen, that too, so many others had.' - I had difficulty sorting out the precise meaning of this sentence, and wondered if slitting it in two after happen.
'I got with scientists, realists, even creationists...' - Is my Englishness showing? I wondered what you 'got'.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the hilarious review, Pantygynt. Yeah, can't get all that bored with something that takes whole four seconds to read. Lol. I changed that to 'writing' sites. Plus, I rearranged a few words here and there so it's a little more understandable. I was actually a few vodka shots in when I wrote this. Haha. I really appreciate the generous stars and help, friend. I'm glad you liked this ridiculous piece. Have a good one and thank you again.
Ron
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;))
Comment from LyndaS
LOL! Your tale of doom and gloom is well written and flows beautifully. Global boring...HAHAHA! This is an eloquent slam to the OMG BORING everything here. Contests, posts, reviews, you name it. This is a refreshing entry into this challenge and should do well in the booth. Thanks for throwing your neck into that literary guillotine and not caring whether the blade falls or not. This was great. Lynda
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2021
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LOL! Your tale of doom and gloom is well written and flows beautifully. Global boring...HAHAHA! This is an eloquent slam to the OMG BORING everything here. Contests, posts, reviews, you name it. This is a refreshing entry into this challenge and should do well in the booth. Thanks for throwing your neck into that literary guillotine and not caring whether the blade falls or not. This was great. Lynda
Comment Written 22-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the giant sixer, Lynda. I was just in one of those moods. Lol. I dearly appreciate the fantastic rating and hilarious review. I'm glad you liked my silly little offering. Have a great rest of your weekend.
=]
Ron
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Any thyme, man o? mine. 😘
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Dragon, until the very end you really had me going bonkers with all the pessimistic predictions About the end of the world. I broke out laughing upon reading the very last paragraph. I just wanted to ask, are we All really bad boring?
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2021
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Dear Dragon, until the very end you really had me going bonkers with all the pessimistic predictions About the end of the world. I broke out laughing upon reading the very last paragraph. I just wanted to ask, are we All really bad boring?
Comment Written 22-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2021
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Lol. No, we're not all floating in that boring boat but there sure a lot of folks occupying it. Haha. Thank you for the great review and gracious stars, Suzanna. I'm glad you had a chuckle at this silly piece. Have yourself a great day.
=]
Ron
Comment from Anne Johnston
Very well written, suspenseful. Then to reach your ending: "I'm now signing an executive order. Here forth, every poetry site on the planet will be terminated." That would be a disaster. Without poetry, where would we all be?
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2021
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Very well written, suspenseful. Then to reach your ending: "I'm now signing an executive order. Here forth, every poetry site on the planet will be terminated." That would be a disaster. Without poetry, where would we all be?
Comment Written 22-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2021
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That's for sure. Thank you for the great review and generous stars, Anne. Have a fantastic rest of your weekend.
=]
Ron
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You are very welcome, Ron
Comment from equestrik
This is not what I expected even up to the end but I applaud your creative take on things! Nice jjob and thought provoking writing. Well done for the short story contest.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2021
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This is not what I expected even up to the end but I applaud your creative take on things! Nice jjob and thought provoking writing. Well done for the short story contest.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the great review and stars, Equestrik. I'm glad you liked this ridiculous piece. Have a wonderful weekend.
Comment from rjuselius
Hahaha. Lol. This is an entertaining piece of prose dear anonymous and a tragic social commentary! The ending is surprising and rather clever.
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings and a larger than life hug!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2021
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Hahaha. Lol. This is an entertaining piece of prose dear anonymous and a tragic social commentary! The ending is surprising and rather clever.
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings and a larger than life hug!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 22-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the fantastic review, Rebekka. I appreciate the stars and good luck wishes. I'm glad you had a chuckle at this silliness. Have a great weekend.
=]
Ron
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Lovely story, I think you have a winner. The whole time I was thinking climate change mais non -"After extensive research by Homeland Security and the
director of Environmental Protection Agency, I have gotten
with the leaders of all the world's nations and with their
support, I'm now signing an executive order. Here forth,
every poetry site on the planet will be terminated. This,
in turn, will prevent all humanity from witnessing the
clataclysmic effects of...Global Boring."-Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2021
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Lovely story, I think you have a winner. The whole time I was thinking climate change mais non -"After extensive research by Homeland Security and the
director of Environmental Protection Agency, I have gotten
with the leaders of all the world's nations and with their
support, I'm now signing an executive order. Here forth,
every poetry site on the planet will be terminated. This,
in turn, will prevent all humanity from witnessing the
clataclysmic effects of...Global Boring."-Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest
Comment Written 22-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the great review and gracious stars, Iza. I really appreciate the good luck wishes. I'm glad you liked this silly piece.
