Interrupted
A cautionary tale17 total reviews
Comment from AnnieDawn
Those deer on the road are so dumb. I wish they were a bit more intelligent to be able to avoid the cars on the road but they just are not. We have them wander slowly across the road in front of the house all the time and hear the screeching of brakes as cars try to avoid them. Your description of your trip is sad but so very well done. Should be a winner in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Those deer on the road are so dumb. I wish they were a bit more intelligent to be able to avoid the cars on the road but they just are not. We have them wander slowly across the road in front of the house all the time and hear the screeching of brakes as cars try to avoid them. Your description of your trip is sad but so very well done. Should be a winner in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Thank you, I came in second. I really appreciate this wonderful review. :)
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Oh, yeah -- a common sight around here... especially this time of year when food is scarce and idiots throw stuff out their car windows so t he deer are drawn by the smells of rotting food... ugh. But a great offering for the contest here, Boogie -- well written and with great rhythm that you know how to create! ;) Thanx for sharing and good luck! ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Oh, yeah -- a common sight around here... especially this time of year when food is scarce and idiots throw stuff out their car windows so t he deer are drawn by the smells of rotting food... ugh. But a great offering for the contest here, Boogie -- well written and with great rhythm that you know how to create! ;) Thanx for sharing and good luck! ;) Yvette
Comment Written 28-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Thank you. Its the same here..I had seven deer walk through my yard the other day...very leisurely. Lol Thanks so much for this great review. :)
Comment from greyson ernst
lol road trip it does not have to in a car it can be on a path this is impressive you won my vote and as always keep writing and stay safe
sincerely Greyson Ernst
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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lol road trip it does not have to in a car it can be on a path this is impressive you won my vote and as always keep writing and stay safe
sincerely Greyson Ernst
Comment Written 28-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Thank you for your vote and this great review. :)
Comment from equestrik
This is a very clever presentation for the road trip contest. The picture is well chosen and the adventure of this trip turned out okay at least for the humans involved.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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This is a very clever presentation for the road trip contest. The picture is well chosen and the adventure of this trip turned out okay at least for the humans involved.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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Thankfully we made it. I can't imagine the deer lived after that impact. Thank you for this nice review. :)
Comment from Judy Lawless
I enjoyed reading this cleverly written poem about your road trip gone wrong. I've done lots of traveling but I could never begin to tell a story through poetry. Well done!
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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I enjoyed reading this cleverly written poem about your road trip gone wrong. I've done lots of traveling but I could never begin to tell a story through poetry. Well done!
Comment Written 27-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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Thank you, it was very traumatic at the time, but now we can look back and.....still be traumatized!!! Thanks for this great review. :)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a tragic road trip and hitting an animal can cause some grief, I once killed a fox on the road and it shook me up. A well rhymed story/poem, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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This is a tragic road trip and hitting an animal can cause some grief, I once killed a fox on the road and it shook me up. A well rhymed story/poem, love Dolly x
Comment Written 27-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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It was pretty crazy, I don't want to do that again! Thank you for reading. :)
Comment from Wendy G
A very well told story in a poem for the Road Trip contest. The rhythm and rhyme flow well and smoothly, and interest is maintained throughout. Best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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A very well told story in a poem for the Road Trip contest. The rhythm and rhyme flow well and smoothly, and interest is maintained throughout. Best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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Thank you for this nice review. :)
Comment from AprilViolet
What a funny story and poem! Sounds like a good vacation gone wrong. Hopefully everyone can all laugh about it now! Lol. Love the flow of this one. Definitely worthy of six stars!
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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What a funny story and poem! Sounds like a good vacation gone wrong. Hopefully everyone can all laugh about it now! Lol. Love the flow of this one. Definitely worthy of six stars!
Comment Written 25-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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Thank you for this excellent review, it's so appreciated. :)
Comment from Every_Dia
"Woods all around, so dark and so deep," --> I don't think you are going for a specific syllable count and I think this line would be fine without "so" and leaving as "dark and deep."
Oh wow, I appreciate where this goes and how you set up the destination before revealing that the destination was not met. The story is well told and other than the first note I have no further suggestions!
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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"Woods all around, so dark and so deep," --> I don't think you are going for a specific syllable count and I think this line would be fine without "so" and leaving as "dark and deep."
Oh wow, I appreciate where this goes and how you set up the destination before revealing that the destination was not met. The story is well told and other than the first note I have no further suggestions!
Comment Written 25-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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Thank you, I'll look into those changes. I really you reading my poem. :)
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Been there. Done that. Thank God the kids obeyed my "duck". Very cute poem. I'm not really a poet but do enjoy reading things that interest me. I liked yours a lot. In first stanza there should not be a comma in lots and the line about Beyonce kind of breaks your rhythm. Keep on writing. You do good work.
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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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Been there. Done that. Thank God the kids obeyed my "duck". Very cute poem. I'm not really a poet but do enjoy reading things that interest me. I liked yours a lot. In first stanza there should not be a comma in lots and the line about Beyonce kind of breaks your rhythm. Keep on writing. You do good work.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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Thank you. I've never been very knowledgeable about punctuation. .lol. I put in the line about the song because it really was playing at the time. My daughter who was driving says evertime she hears it played on an oldies station, she gets PTSD. Thank you for the review. :)
