Lost in Love
Lost -Flash Fiction11 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You write well but I don't quite get the ending, or I guess the girl won but I'm not certain why Henri understood he wasn't wanted. Also the batchelor is usually spelled bachelor, but that could be a difference between languages.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
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You write well but I don't quite get the ending, or I guess the girl won but I'm not certain why Henri understood he wasn't wanted. Also the batchelor is usually spelled bachelor, but that could be a difference between languages.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
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Thanks for reviewing and sharing zanya
Comment from RetroStarfish
This is a very clever take on the writing prompt. Lost in love, lost in time, lost in thought - you've got it all, and the flowery, chintz Victorian language too.
One very small thing. This sentence needs a bit of punctuation:
Elysee demanded, 'Different, how were things different, Papa?'
Should be 'Different? How were things..."
Great story. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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This is a very clever take on the writing prompt. Lost in love, lost in time, lost in thought - you've got it all, and the flowery, chintz Victorian language too.
One very small thing. This sentence needs a bit of punctuation:
Elysee demanded, 'Different, how were things different, Papa?'
Should be 'Different? How were things..."
Great story. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Thanks for this superb reveiw and with wonderful fine detail zanya
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello anonymous
Great entry for the
Lost - Flash Fiction writing prompt contest. Good word count. You managed to write a complete story in less than 500 words.
Arranged marriage was a thing of the past for most countries. Watching Henri depart Elysee smiled.. it's not very clear...I think Elysee doesn't have to marry Henry.
Well done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Hello anonymous
Great entry for the
Lost - Flash Fiction writing prompt contest. Good word count. You managed to write a complete story in less than 500 words.
Arranged marriage was a thing of the past for most countries. Watching Henri depart Elysee smiled.. it's not very clear...I think Elysee doesn't have to marry Henry.
Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Great reveiw zanya
Comment from Karen Estep
I found your writing to be concise and intriguing. I enjoyed your descriptive phrases such as "some remnants of youth still evident. There are some spaces in between words, but I feel it is a good contender. Good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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I found your writing to be concise and intriguing. I enjoyed your descriptive phrases such as "some remnants of youth still evident. There are some spaces in between words, but I feel it is a good contender. Good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Great reveiw zanya
Comment from equestrik
Awe-I like the ending here as Alphonse chooses is daughters best interests over reason. Good writing and a good and endearing story All the best to you.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Awe-I like the ending here as Alphonse chooses is daughters best interests over reason. Good writing and a good and endearing story All the best to you.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Great reveiw zanya
Comment from Begin Again
The ways of the world and younger generations reaching out to challenge our own ideas leaves many of us lost in the confusion. I enjoyed the story and wish you the best of luck!
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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The ways of the world and younger generations reaching out to challenge our own ideas leaves many of us lost in the confusion. I enjoyed the story and wish you the best of luck!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Thanks for a great reveiw zanya
Comment from Wendy G
A lovely story, and imaginative, as well as having been written well and clearly. It is creative - a different way to view the theme of being lost. Good wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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A lovely story, and imaginative, as well as having been written well and clearly. It is creative - a different way to view the theme of being lost. Good wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Great reveiw zanya
Comment from Susan Larson
Your dialogue between Squire Alphonse and his daughter Elysee flows naturally , as do the different outlooks on love and its bearing on marriage. I see a lot can be expounded upon here.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Your dialogue between Squire Alphonse and his daughter Elysee flows naturally , as do the different outlooks on love and its bearing on marriage. I see a lot can be expounded upon here.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Thanks for a superb reveiw zanya
Comment from Lyn Peters
Interesting take on the contest prompt! This is a well written, enjoyable snippet. I suspect you will do well in the contest. Thank you for sharing your work with your readers. Best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Interesting take on the contest prompt! This is a well written, enjoyable snippet. I suspect you will do well in the contest. Thank you for sharing your work with your readers. Best wishes to you.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Thanks for a great reveiw zanya
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Good job with this competition piece. The tone feels spot on and justifies the stilted language and word choices.
' Love, dear Elysee has little to do with it.' - delete the space following the opening speech marks, and perhaps insert another comma after Elysee.
Things were different then...'.Alphonse trailed off.- spacing following the dialogue.
Enjoyed this
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Hi there,
Good job with this competition piece. The tone feels spot on and justifies the stilted language and word choices.
' Love, dear Elysee has little to do with it.' - delete the space following the opening speech marks, and perhaps insert another comma after Elysee.
Things were different then...'.Alphonse trailed off.- spacing following the dialogue.
Enjoyed this
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 12-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Superb review zanya
