Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello, anonymous,

Interesting entry for the Sijo Poem writing prompt contest. I like the theme and presentation. Good form by contest rules. Good syllables count and connection between lines. Well done. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2021

I?m not doubting your words but reading the instructions provided by zanya

at best it was a poem with 4 lines going by her unclear instructions ..


3.4.4.4=15
3.4.4.4=15
3.5=8
4.3=7. Total 45 syllables.

NB: There was no mention of how many lines were required despite it was a new format to most on this site.


I looked up on google and it said three lines for this sijo format.

I even posted below the contest page asking clarifications but never got a reply

The first line is to supposed to set the theme which I did

Across  African savannah lumbering Matriarch leads ..

Second the elaboration ..I did

She protects and teaches sisters, daughters how to rear offspring.


Counter theme ..I did

In times of drought,when resources lack,

Completion..

her wise guidance counts stacks.

The two last lines I put together because as I mentioned I googled and it said :

While the sijo poetic form is new to Poetic Asides, it is actually older than haiku. This Korean poetic form is only three lines long, but a lot is packed into those three lines. Here's a quick rundown:

* 3 lines in length, averaging 14-16 syllables per line (for a poem total of 44-46 syllables).
* Line 1 introduces the situation or theme of the poem.
* Line 2 develops the theme with more detail or a "turn" in argument.
* Line 3 presents a "twist" and conclusion.

I try to do my best and for that I just get my ears pulled ..

PS: you should take it up with zanya and the committee , just a suggestion

Keep safe.

reply by Gypsy Blue Rose on 14-Feb-2021

I don't write it that way but you are right. I will change my review and score.

reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021

I appreciate you edited your review vote .

Keep safe!

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

What a sweet and informative poem, Mystery Author. I enjoyed reading it. You are right about how important the elephant herd is on the matriarch. Your words flow smoothly with great info. The video was awesome. I have seen so many videos where the older elephants rush to the aide of a bay when it can't climb the slippery slope of the water to be free. They use their powerful trunks to help 'lift' the baby up.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021

Ciao !

The contest is closed .. we all made the podium ( cheers)

Glad you found my poem interesting.

I find wildlife is a great theme .. there is so much to learn.

And let?s face it animals are entertaining to watch.

Stay safe!

Comment from Raul1

Excellent

This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It's beautifully written and the sentences flow with clarity. Excellent work! No mistakes found. Thanks for sharing!

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021

Ciao Raul !

The booth is closed .. all entries made the podium. Yeah!

Glad you enjoyed the read!

I tried to describe the wonders of this majestic creature.

There are about 350.000 elephants left in Africa

Sadly , still 10,000 to 15.000 are killed each year by poachers.

Keep safe!