Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

Very humorous and witty entry. It is amazing that what looks so great under the influence can turn out to be so ordinary or worse the next morning! Best wishes.

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2021

Thank you for this nice review, I really appreciate your taking time to read my poem. :)

Comment from Iza Deleanu

Excellent

Only pretty girl should get married? The pretty ones don't stay trap for too long, so you got the cream de la cream:"
The next day when the drink wore off,
the girl he wed last night,
looked nothing like she did before,
her visage quite a sight.

She was quite old, and ugly too,
no longer fair of face,
he'd had enough of wedded bliss,
ran screaming from that place.
" Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2021

Thank you for reading my poem. Of course not just pretty girls get married! If that was the case, I'd still be single..lol. it's all in fun. :)

Comment from Ashlyn Stone

Excellent

It rhymes and flowed well. It was cohesive. There was on word not sure about but otherwise it was a really enjoyable poem. Thanks for sharing with us.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2021

What word was that? :) Thank you for this nice review, I really appreciate it. :)

Comment from Susan Newell

Excellent

This poem tells a delightful humorous (and not so humorous) tale of what can befall a person who agrees to imbibe something of unknown substance. This could be a winner, given it has just the right mix of natural and This poem tells a delightful humorous (and not so humorous) tale of what can befall a person who agrees to imbibe something of unknown substance. This could be a winner, given it has just the right mix of natural and supernatural.

You could use some clean-up on punctuation, caps and quotes, as follows.

3rd stanza, first line: you have a comma outside quotation marks, and a capital H that should be lower case

3rd stanza, 4th line: no need for cap. T

4th stanza, 1st line: need a cap. W

10th stanza: run-on sentence. Should and after second line and begin another.

11th stanza, 3rd line: need a cap. D for quote would be improved in last stanza if you used an em dash after the second line (two hyphens) and began the third line with a lower case E.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2021

Thank you so much for this kind review and for the corrections. Punctuation is not my strong suit. I believe that I have made all the corrections. I wasn't quite sure what you meant about the last stanza because I've never hear of an em dash. I would really appreciate it if you could give it another look and tell me if everything looks good. lol. If you have time :) Thank you!

reply by Susan Newell on 19-Mar-2021

Much better. I do wonder if "movie" should be plural.

This stanza has a couple things:

The woman sighed, another one,
had gotten clean away.
Her dad, the barkeep said, "Dn't fret,"
"tomorrow's another day."

No comma after "one" and you are missing an O in Don't.

There is no apostrophe in the plural of bloody marys, and no need to cap.

Good luck!

Comment from Cindy Decker 2

Excellent

Hi, BoogieNights,
I love this magical, farcical poem! The rhyme is nice, and certain words you've chosen enhance the poem: sketch, bodacious...
This poem is certainly contest worthy.
Thank you for the smile.
Blessings,
Cindy

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 Comment Written 18-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2021

Thank you for such a thoughtful review, it's very appreciated. :)

reply by Cindy Decker 2 on 19-Mar-2021

You?re welcome, B. Nights

Comment from Goodadvicechan

Excellent

This poem is good for the "Drink Poetry" contest.

This is a humorous poem. I like the following paragraph: "She was quite old, and ugly too, no longer fair of face, he'd had enough of wedded bliss, ran screaming from that place."

Thanks for sharing.
Happy writing.



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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2021

Thanks for this nice review, I appreciate you taking time to read my poem. :)