Curtains of Rain
Too much rain is never a good thing.3 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
You have used several literary techniques. Your alliteration becomes onomatopoetic. The s's create the mood. The s effects the sound of hissing. Your metaphors create great sensory images. Well arranged.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
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You have used several literary techniques. Your alliteration becomes onomatopoetic. The s's create the mood. The s effects the sound of hissing. Your metaphors create great sensory images. Well arranged.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much for the read and your encouraging review.
Comment from Susan Newell
This is a good start, but could use some tweaking. You've captured the thoughts, but I think you can express them better. "Blowing" doesn't seem to fit with the rest and I think you could find a more poetic word for hanging. I use an on-line thesaurus all the time. Just search "synonym for hang" and I guarantee you'll find a better word.
Line two: suggest "curtains of torrential rain"
Line three: farmland is one word.
Play with it a little and see what you can do. Think about what the clouds are doing, what they look like, etc. and I'm sure you can power up from "blowing."
I really like your concept.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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This is a good start, but could use some tweaking. You've captured the thoughts, but I think you can express them better. "Blowing" doesn't seem to fit with the rest and I think you could find a more poetic word for hanging. I use an on-line thesaurus all the time. Just search "synonym for hang" and I guarantee you'll find a better word.
Line two: suggest "curtains of torrential rain"
Line three: farmland is one word.
Play with it a little and see what you can do. Think about what the clouds are doing, what they look like, etc. and I'm sure you can power up from "blowing."
I really like your concept.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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Thanks for suggestions, have edited to:
sinister clouds sling
curtains of torrential rain~
flooding our farmland
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Oh, I like that! Nasty old clouds!
Comment from RodG
For most farmers rain comes in extremes: too little or too much. One can imagine the hanging clouds and curtains of rain that inundate this farmer's fields. Rod
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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For most farmers rain comes in extremes: too little or too much. One can imagine the hanging clouds and curtains of rain that inundate this farmer's fields. Rod
Comment Written 16-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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Thanks for the review and feedback.
