Awakening
A new season brings...13 total reviews
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
This is a truly delightful poem of spring's awakening. I love all the imagery of animals awakening, the bear stanza my favorite. One little English teacher/editor suggestion. "Lie" in the past tense is "lay." "Laid" means "put" and has to have a direct object. That's probably the hardest verb for which to keep all the tenses straight.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
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This is a truly delightful poem of spring's awakening. I love all the imagery of animals awakening, the bear stanza my favorite. One little English teacher/editor suggestion. "Lie" in the past tense is "lay." "Laid" means "put" and has to have a direct object. That's probably the hardest verb for which to keep all the tenses straight.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the correction...grammar has never been my strong suit. I really appreciate this great review. :)
Comment from royowen
Oh yes indeed, I can see you are looking forward to the spring when the ice and snow will melt and the water will fill the streams which provide water the ensure fertility. This is beautifully written my friend, superbly articulate, great rhyming in abab form, well done, great poem. Blessings Roy
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2022
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Oh yes indeed, I can see you are looking forward to the spring when the ice and snow will melt and the water will fill the streams which provide water the ensure fertility. This is beautifully written my friend, superbly articulate, great rhyming in abab form, well done, great poem. Blessings Roy
Comment Written 05-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2022
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I am looking forward to spring very much, as I sit here in 10 below zero weather...:) thanks so much for this great review. :)
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Wow that's cold
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This is a different spring contest with words you can't use, but you paint a great spring scene. I especially enjoyed the awakening of the dormant. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2022
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This is a different spring contest with words you can't use, but you paint a great spring scene. I especially enjoyed the awakening of the dormant. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2022
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Thank you for this nice review, it's very appreciated. :)
Comment from Mrs. KT
Such lovely imagery, Mystery Writer.
However, there are a number of "nits" that, if I may, I need to share only because they detract from an otherwise beautiful presentation:
A warmth fills up the air these days of late,
song birds return, their music fills the air.
As winter loosens now it's (its) icy grip,
and spring in all her wonder comes to bear.
The last two lines in the above stanza comprise a sentence fragment = perfectly acceptable in poetry, yet a bit distracting as they do not comprise a sentence with a required end stop.
Indeed all that laid (lay) dormant will awake,
the promise of a future shining bright.
"Copycat" for bear cubs?
Love the thought of nature making the trees' dresses on her loom.
I surely hope I have not offended. The imagery is beautiful.
Best wishes!
diane
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2021
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Such lovely imagery, Mystery Writer.
However, there are a number of "nits" that, if I may, I need to share only because they detract from an otherwise beautiful presentation:
A warmth fills up the air these days of late,
song birds return, their music fills the air.
As winter loosens now it's (its) icy grip,
and spring in all her wonder comes to bear.
The last two lines in the above stanza comprise a sentence fragment = perfectly acceptable in poetry, yet a bit distracting as they do not comprise a sentence with a required end stop.
Indeed all that laid (lay) dormant will awake,
the promise of a future shining bright.
"Copycat" for bear cubs?
Love the thought of nature making the trees' dresses on her loom.
I surely hope I have not offended. The imagery is beautiful.
Best wishes!
diane
Comment Written 28-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2021
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Thank you for this wonderful review. I appreciate your catching my errors ..it helps me learn. :)
Comment from Patty Palmer
A nice springy poem about Spring. The days become longer and brighter. The leaves on the trees and the flowers blooming and the scent of Spring in the air! The yellow with the picture of the beautiful flowers is a good match with your poem. Good luck with the contest.
Patty
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2021
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A nice springy poem about Spring. The days become longer and brighter. The leaves on the trees and the flowers blooming and the scent of Spring in the air! The yellow with the picture of the beautiful flowers is a good match with your poem. Good luck with the contest.
Patty
Comment Written 28-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2021
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Thank you for reading my poem. Here in Minnesota it takes spring a while to get here, but it is very worth it. :)
Comment from Wendy G
A lovely poem celebrating many aspects of Spring with its renewal and refreshment, for all of nature. Your image is also beautiful. Best wishes for your entry.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2021
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A lovely poem celebrating many aspects of Spring with its renewal and refreshment, for all of nature. Your image is also beautiful. Best wishes for your entry.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much. I do value your opinion and your taking time to read my poem. :)
Comment from equestrik
This is a beautiful presentation for the Poem for Spring contest. The picture is lovely and represents your writing very well. All the best to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2021
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This is a beautiful presentation for the Poem for Spring contest. The picture is lovely and represents your writing very well. All the best to you in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2021
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Thank for this great review, I really appreciate it :)
Comment from Dr. Nad
Awakening is a lovely poem that incorporates numerous aspects of nature that come to life in a kaleidoscope of beauty. There are so many glorious metaphors that arise from the ashes of winter. You have beautifully illustrated what we have to look forward to in the spring. Thanks for sharing in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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Awakening is a lovely poem that incorporates numerous aspects of nature that come to life in a kaleidoscope of beauty. There are so many glorious metaphors that arise from the ashes of winter. You have beautifully illustrated what we have to look forward to in the spring. Thanks for sharing in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much for this uplifting review, it means a lot to me. :)
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You are so welcome. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment from Sharon Davis
I enjoyed the storytelling elements found within the poem for Spring. The passing of the reign creates a powerful image. The presentation is advanced by the vibrant yellow background. Nice job.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
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I enjoyed the storytelling elements found within the poem for Spring. The passing of the reign creates a powerful image. The presentation is advanced by the vibrant yellow background. Nice job.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
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Thank you for this great review, it's always nice to hear from you. :)
Comment from AnnaLinda
Poet,
This is a beautiful poem you have composed for that Poem of Spring prompt! Four gorgeous stanzas celebrating the passing of Winter and
the entrance of Spring. I like how you used "bear" two times each with
a different meaning.
You have grand rhymes, personification, alliteration and unique imagery
as well. I picked the following stanza as my favorite...or I think it is. I chose it before I was finished reading your poem.
"This season's scents and colors will surround,
to bring us hope and chase away the gloom.
Soon trees will don their lovely gowns of green,
as nature makes their dresses on her loom."
These are great lines as well and very positive:
"Indeed all that laid dormant will awake,
the promise of a future shining bright."
I'm not sure if Spring is supposed to be
capitalized in the last line or not.
I enjoyed reading this and best wishes
in the booth.
AnnaLinda
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
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Poet,
This is a beautiful poem you have composed for that Poem of Spring prompt! Four gorgeous stanzas celebrating the passing of Winter and
the entrance of Spring. I like how you used "bear" two times each with
a different meaning.
You have grand rhymes, personification, alliteration and unique imagery
as well. I picked the following stanza as my favorite...or I think it is. I chose it before I was finished reading your poem.
"This season's scents and colors will surround,
to bring us hope and chase away the gloom.
Soon trees will don their lovely gowns of green,
as nature makes their dresses on her loom."
These are great lines as well and very positive:
"Indeed all that laid dormant will awake,
the promise of a future shining bright."
I'm not sure if Spring is supposed to be
capitalized in the last line or not.
I enjoyed reading this and best wishes
in the booth.
AnnaLinda
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
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Thank you for this very nice review, I really appreciate your kind words. :)
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Looks like a winner!
